


Even Stars Burn Out (Rewrite)

by lukegarmadon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin has a brother, But nevertheless, Character Death, Gen, Like I am your uncle, Rewrite, and I want the reveal to be funnier, and Luke curses, and thus the birth of this series, but in much different light, but undecided, does he die? not quite decided yet, he is going to get a shock, nevermind, thus luke doesn't get as much of a huge shock, we have very juicy scenarios for both, well not exactly, what if darth vader was not anakin in canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27772717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukegarmadon/pseuds/lukegarmadon
Summary: The Force carries out its will despite the circumstances. It is fair. It does not discriminate between the sinners and saints. In a universe, where the Jedi still falls even when Anakin Skywalker didn't. In which Anakin Skywalker had a brother along with the journey who prevented his fall but not his own. In a universe in which Anakin Skywalker founded the rebellion in the memory of all those he had lost and tries to bring balance to the Force at the same timeOr if you will, Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker's brother.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 23
Kudos: 48





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A rewrite of https://archiveofourown.org/works/24246145/chapters/58425907

In the vast landscape of golden sand that stretches infinitely into the distance, the binary suns burn mercilessly in the grey skies. Slavery is a common place on Hutt-infested planets. Many liken the living conditions to be nothing but bleak and hopeless - the sun slowly robs one’s youthful hope like a parasite and it never leaves until the day you are old and grey with nothing left other than a shrivelled shell of a human being. 

The Boonta Eve Classic, that year, however, brings a new era to dawn over the galaxy. A start of something even bigger than the galaxy. Avian and Anakin Skywalker win as the first human beings to win a podrace which is impressive considering they are twelve and nine years old respectively. Another underlying bet frees the two boys from being enslaved and are recruited to train as Jedis. Two boys’ eyes gleam at the prospect with excitement blooming in their chests.

Their naivety and innocence, however, are soon to be stripped just like how the harsh, unrelenting deserts they lived in their childhood does.


	2. it starts and balloons, becoming bigger than what we can dream

The blues and greens from the lightsaber illuminate the rooms with an incandescent glow. The polished ivory marble floor spans across the room with pure white pillars spiralling to the top to meet with the carefully sculpted designs decorating the ceiling. He is standing right in the middle, dresses in ceremonial robes with the Jedi Order insignia embroidered onto his sleeve. Avian searches for reassurance as his ocean blue eyes meet with Obi-Wan’s blue-grey ones. He turns to meet with Anakin’s small but genuine smile as he looks from near the corner of the room, his padawan braid gently swaying as if it is also encouraging him.

Yoda beckons him to kneel to which Avian obliges without question, he bows his head and his padawan braid hangs from behind his years. Yoda pronounces the pledge to which Avian recites together. With a swift slice, his braid falls. He gingerly picks it up, gathering the braided dark brown locks into his hand, and gives it to Obi-Wan. Everything about this feels a little surreal, nevertheless, it feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off his chest and he can finally breathe. Avian sends a grin towards Anakin to which is replied by a quick thumbs-up.

***

At the ripe ages of twenty-two and nineteen, Avian and Anakin become war generals as the Clone Wars dawn in the galaxy, opening a new chapter for the galaxy. Within this short time, Anakin has been knighted and has also married Senator Padmé Amidala. On _22 BBY_ does the marching of battalions of both clones and droids shakes the galaxy to its core. The first battle of Geonosis leads the Separatists and the Republic wage a galaxy-wide war against each other, battle lines have been drawn as the respective governments come to a grim but unfettered resolve. The first casualty of the war has always been truth for the reality that this war is merely a soap opera, a part of a grand master plan that only a few in the galaxy know.

  
  


Once highly coveted, diplomacy is ignored as the rotunda of the Senate Building has haughty voices and snobby senators yelling and howling their arguments as tension spikes up like never before. The war, in itself, is masked under lavish gowns and sleek suits and clinking of expensive china and far more subtle than the war taking place in the front lines. It mercilessly snatches and destroys lives with no sort of discrimination nor partiality. Order slowly fades into an illusion desperately held by Senators to reassure the people they serve. Decisions on the Senate are made on a whim as more and more emergency powers are piled into the hands of the one man. Democracy, now, is merely a facade. Dictatorship is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

  
  


Padmé Amidala, for one, does not appreciate the degrading of democracy and believes in the preservation of said value. She strides purposefully through the boundless hallways on the gray carpet that stretches with no end in sight. Another meeting in which it has ended in chaos and adjourned with no sort of progress on coming to a conclusion. Padmé would not exactly call herself a no-nonsense woman, rather she loves her work and wishes that other senators would look in the interest of their people and not push their selfish agendas onto the table. The Republic marches closer and closer towards corruption as it dances a dangerous tango near the ledge in which it would be engulfed with corruption and villainy. Nevertheless, she firmly believes in democracy. She firmly believes that the Republic will work.

  
  


Nonetheless, the acrid fumes of corruption still do threaten to take over; its stench only worsens as they transition from peacetime to wartime. Padmé does not really appreciate that and only wants the Chancellor to put an end to this war and let diplomacy resume. The Chancellor, however, is a whole other can of worms to deal with. Chancellor Palpatine is one of the most influential and beloved politicians in the Republic - Padmé’s popularity pales in comparison. As Padmé walks across the building, propaganda posters of Jedi Generals and Clones are pasted to be admired by the public. Anakin Skywalker is considered to be the poster boy of the war, given the epithet of _Hero With No Fear_ for dashing in - _recklessly, some may add_ \- and performing daring stunts in hopes to free and save millions of lives and planets. His older brother, Avian, is a close second and given the moniker of _the Strategist_ for his ruthlessly accurate strategies. Obi-Wan Kenobi, now fondly referred to as _the Negotiator_ for his coveted diplomacy skills.

Padmé wishes to put an end to this conflict with a peaceful resolve. However, the Chancellor always gives her a grandfatherly smile and no action is taken. The Senate is indeed willing to grant him more and more emergency powers as the war escalates. Many lives are lost needlessly just because no one is courageous enough to extend an olive branch of peace. She closes her eyes as she strides into the 500 Republica, a sense of relief washing into her as her pace slows down. Walking in voluminous and extravagant gowns with her hair held upright by numerous braids and buns done by the dexterous fingers of her handmaidens. For once, she enjoys dabbling in simple clothing in which there is no sort of hidden agenda. 

She slides her door into her dark apartment.

It is lit dimly by the street lights illuminating the pathway for hover cars. Coruscant is a city that _never_ sleeps, a core business enterprise with so many opportunities that leave even the most privileged gaping at. Padmé notices a silhouette near her window, a smile appears on her face as she immediately figures out who the mysterious figure is. She is immediately pulled into a warm embrace, warm kisses pressed over her face as Padmé laughs in reply while asking him to stop. It stops but a reminiscence of her smile dances on her lips. His lips quirk up into a boyish smirk, his dark golden locks sheen from the city lights of the breathtaking coruscanti skyline. 

“Oh, Padmé, it feels like I have been away for a million years,” he says as he parts ways, his flesh arm tangling into her hair. 

“Anakin,” Padmé replies with a small smile, “It’s been months. I’m glad to see you unharmed by the war. You don’t know how worried I am,”

Anakin shakes his head, smiling softly. His hand untangles from her hand and rests at his side.

“You are very beautiful, _moonlight_ , ” he says softly.

Padmé feels like she is a girl again as a girlish giggle escapes her lips; she kicks off her shoes and tackles Anakin into the bed nearby. He allows her to do so as they hug each other tightly and fall asleep almost immediately.

***

The room is small, blinds hung with only little light filling the cracks and casting long shadows on the opposite walls. A thin outline of light silhouettes his desk and belongings, Avian lies flatly on his bed, his eyes focusing blankly on the dark ceiling as the fan rotates in blades in a steady, but quiet hum. Avian focuses on nothing but his breathing, his talk with the Chancellor replays in his mind like a broken tape recorder. His heart pounds steadily as he grips the edges of his tunics tightly. The Chancellor is a good man, he is only telling him what’s best. Avian closes his eyes shut, a sharp exhale escapes and he feels a weight has been lifted off the shoulder. His latest campaign scares him. He is often likened to the perfect Jedi role-model; calm, patient, kind and a reasonable sense of detachment, and yet, the part of him, the part of him that is a reminder of his days of Tatooine cares too much about the suffering the Republic goes through. He is too brutal with the Separatists, Master Kenobi tells him. 

He is doing exactly what Anakin does, and yet, it is he who gets reprimanded far more often. Bitterness courses through like a numbing substance through his veins. The Chancellor, then, tells him - _the end justifies the means_ \- somehow, it resonates with him so loudly. He latches onto it like a lifeline as a way to justify his actions. His breathing slows down as he sits upright and opens his blinds to let sunlight seep into his room once again. A steady rap against the door drives him out of his stupor. Master Gallia stands outside, inviting him into another briefing for yet another campaign for this _Force-forsaken_ war. 

The briefing room is well-lit, white-blue lights shine on the occupants. It is the kind of light that washes out your features and highlights your imperfections; everyone looks more human and not the unstoppable force of gods and goddesses that coruscanti holonews reporters like to regale. Anakin and Ahsoka stand near the corner poking at each other and laughing- they look _painfully_ young - and Obi-Wan looks so tired and exhausted like never before. Master Yoda’s hologram flickers as his never-fading serene expression holds small cracks. Avian has made sure to comb his hair with the help of his fingers as he walks near the holographic table.

The demeanour suddenly turns grim and serious. 

***

Of all the days, it is today that the velvet red of the Chancellor’s office feels like it’s stealing his breath. Sculptures and old holo-pictures of previous Chancellors decorate the walls, white pillars act as a support between the ceiling and the room. The smell of new plastoid is emitted throughout the room, a huge transparisteel pane reveals an astounding view of the city as tiny lights flicker and dance in perfect harmony with skyscrapers touching the opalescent sky. Avian trudges in before his countenance is graced with a smile. 

Chancellor Palpatine pauses from his work. He is a wizened man with a receding hairline. His silver hair indeed betrays the immense amount of stress the war has put him through as his face begins to sag due to the appearance of wrinkles. He is often considered as a grandfather to the Republic for all his contributions and Avian agrees.

“Ah, Avian, my boy, great to see you well and unharmed. Your latest campaign is certainly dangerous to hear about,” The man rambles, a welcoming smile makes him look younger than he is. His blue-grey orbs twinkle in delight as Avian bows and returns with his own greetings. 

“Something’s bothering you,” Palpatine says, his voice low. 

Avian spins to meet squarely with the elder man. Palpatine is a politician, he is taught from the start to read others’ emotions and hide his own. Even then, Avian finds it strange that Palpatine can still read him so easily despite holding his shields ever so tight. He sighs in defeat, his shoulders sagging and purses his lips into a thin line. The grandfatherly man’s countenance changes as he places an arm of support on his shoulder. He feels pressed as he averts his gaze away and scuffs the toes of his boot on the carpeted floor. 

“I-” Avian pauses, feeling exposed, “...it’s just not so simple anymore. The war goes on and all but I can’t help but _feel so overwhelmed and pressed_. And now, Anakin spends more time training Ahsoka - it feels more lonely. And, the Jedi Council constantly _nags_ at me for being too brutal when dealing with the Separatists when all I am doing is for the good of the Republic,”

“You are doing the best you can,” 

“A-and, I feel that they think I am not as valuable as my brother when I have the same success rates as him. They gave him a padawan already even when _he’s barely been a Knight for three months_ and before we know it, he’s on the way to being a Master. The Jedi Council don’t like me,” 

“You need to understand that for the Republic, we need all the victory we can get. And, the end justifies the means,” Palpatine explains, “The Jedi Council are scared of your powers and they can’t control you. They see your brother as a more controllable person than you are. They want to control you, two. They are _scared_ of you, two,”

Avian looks up, “But, _er_ , Chancellor - that doesn’t sound like them,”

“Somethings are more complicated than others,” Palpatine says kindly, “Right now, you are doing an incredibly good job. Keep it up!”

***

Anakin beams at him, hiding his smugness under mock innocence. Avian returns it with a boyish pout. Little quiet moments like this are much rarer as the war toils on. The evening light slips into the open window, the room is lit dimly by the overhead bulb. Anakin has once more dragged him into watching a soap opera holodrama. This one is introduced by Senator Amidala - a newly released _tear-jerker_ _holodrama_ that he is obsessed with but refuses to admit. The screen illuminates the features of their face as they watch the main character dashing forward to save their pet, a dog. Avian tries to look disinterested but he could not help but get sucked into the action. He sees why his brother and Senator Amidala seem into it. 

Near the end, Avian sits up as Anakin leaves for the _Padawan’s Quarters_ for a nightly spar with Ahsoka. Avian, during times like this, likes to go around and help Master Vokara Che at the _Healers_. It is a recently found skill. When he entered the Jedi Temple fresh and doe-eyed, he took a particular liking towards visiting the Hall of Healings. Before he came to the Jedi, he noticed so many slaves dying of illness and injury from living in such unsanitary and cramped places. Often, if one gets sick, all the slaves got the virus too. Avian has a natural aptitude to heal others once in a while. Although it happened in exceptionally rare circumstances, the slaves were often mystified by it. 

He walks into the Hall of Healings in which the rooms are painted in shades of turquoise, white and grey. The war has often caused the Hall of Healings to be filled with injured clones and Jedi. On the bad days, patients can be seen leaking out into the extra room nearby, lying on fresh white satin whilst the healers attend to them. Avian walks to be washed over by the familiar scent of antiseptic and the hushed chatter of healers. It isn’t a pleasant sight to see bacta tanks with clones and Jedi inside. Avian shudders as he imagines himself, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka and Anakin. He takes in a sharp breath to see Master Vokara Che crouched over a clone trooper, tending to a large but, _thankfully_ , shallow cut starting from his torso all the way to his back. 

Master Che is a no-nonsense woman, a stern-faced blue Twi’lek who is an accomplished healer in the Jedi Temple. Her accomplishments in healing are often revered by most of the Jedi Order. Back when he was younger, he used to spend time with her and watch her heal injured Jedi. As he grew older, she taught him to further refine his healing techniques. Obi-Wan gives him his full support on that front. Avian spent his teenage years refining his skill in healing; although he is not an official healer, he wishes to be one when the war ends. Avian, in many ways, looks up to her. Master Che turns once finishing off the bacta-coated bandage around his torso and snipping off the extra. Avian stops in his tracks for a moment, blinking blankly at the older Jedi. 

“Uh, may I offer any assistance?” Avian asks, a tad bit awkwardly.

Master Che purses her lips into a thin line, “Well, I’m pretty sure you are familiar with the Force Healing technique. There are a couple of clones with mild cuts and we are running out of bacta patches. You should work on them - the bacta patches should be saved for more serious injuries,”

Avian nods as he walks towards the clone propped on a bed, holding his arm. His arm has a cut that stretches until the bottom of his elbow. Avian walks closer as they exchange quick greetings. He closes his eyes and drifts into meditation; he begins the process of mending the wounds. 

***

The lasers cut through the air with such precision and accuracy, making its mark on the battle droids. Every swing of a lightsaber slices through the molten metal that is the droids and they fall to the floor in a dull clank which is hidden by the resounding shots of blasters. The lasers grace and glide through the air as Anakin recalls his lightsaber kata and effectively wields his saber to shift the projectiles right back at the battle droids. The more and more the battle droids fall, the more he could not help but notice the valuableness of the clones. Some would say this is clone trooper precision at its finest. Anakin’s blue lightsaber is like a glowing beacon through the darkness as he leads his troops on the onslaught of battle droids. 

With all the deadly grace that is Anakin Skywalker, Rex realizes that the battle droids keep on coming. They are a steady trickle that they repeatedly try to patch, however, they keep on reappearing. Just as they destroy the last battle droid, there are fifty more on the way. The ceaseless blaster fire is like a beat to which they dance cautiously to; They strain and extend their every senses to eradicate every clanker that comes their way. They are born for this very purpose - _this is their past, present and future_ \- the Torrent Company are the _elite_ of the _501st_. However, they are running out fast. Droids can be replaced easily, they do not need food, water and sleep as clones do. Yet, they lack the ingenuity that the clones do which gives them an upper-hand in most battles. However, the lesson of strength in numbers really seems to be singing a dangerous lullaby as they are slowly overwhelmed by Separatist Forces. 

Ahsoka might have just turned fifteen a few days ago but she has a strength of a lioness. The battle droids have no chance against her double lightsaber kata or _Jar’Kai_. Her sharpened predatory instincts honed from birth only serves to ease the difficulty of navigating through a battlefield. She prowls as silent as a mouse and attacks with the ferocity of a lion; her green lightsaber cuts through the battle droids like butter as she counts every battle droid she slices. She perches herself onto a battle droid, stabbing it right on its battery pack. It sparks and before it could explode, she leaps away and takes down two more. She grins for she is still a child, trying to have fun and hangs onto a thread of innocence until she fully grasps the harsh realities of war.

Anakin’s every swing is precise and perfected over the years as his blade melts into the metal bodies of the droids and leaves a singed orange mark as they clatter onto the ground. A sudden explosion rattles them all as they quickly jump away from the site. Anakin uses the Force to contain the explosion just so he can save his men. He is blown back but thankfully caught by a couple of clones before he can get hurt. He smiles sheepishly and gives a two-fingered salute. He goes through his lightsaber kata once more and summons the last bit of energy. With one final burst, he destroys the last of the battle droids and internally prays that there will be no more.

Avian’s troops take over the capital, the 311th takes a relieved breath once they are sure that no more battle droids are coming. Avian extinguishes his lightsaber and feels exhaustion overwhelming every fibre of his being. He curls his back in a stretch, his face still covered in soot and dirt. A couple of cuts and bruises begin to show, he exhales sharply as he pins the hilt to his belt. He wipes away the beads of sweat that dot his forehead and reaches for his comms to give Anakin a call to see his update. He sighs as he watches the injured being transferred onto the stretchers. The casualty rates are rather high this time and it pains his heart to even think about it. He maintains his stoic Jedi distance as he watches the clones interact among one another. Nevertheless, he still has a soft spot that many Jedi would probably reject or look down upon.

A tiny blue hologram of his brother appears and flickers in front of him. Tendrils of dust and smoke curl upwards from the barren lands which are bathed gently by the moonlight. Hologram Anakin crosses his arms shifting his weight onto his other ankle, the crimson of his robes stained with ash and dirt from cutting the battle droids as he recounts what happened on his side and briefly summarizes the caution. Adrenaline wears off as they slowly trudge and move away the injured to a safe place. A medevac is expected to reach them tomorrow to fetch those in critical condition, the field medic goes on his rounds and tries his best to keep them comfortable and alive until the next morning arrives. The night cycle of the planet is not very long, ranging from about seven to eight standard hours. 

The hologram vanishes as they nod their heads to acknowledge their farewell. The troopers who are still able to walk begin to distribute emergency supplies to the civilians who have hidden themselves away from the battle droids who march a steady staccato throughout the days leading to the arrival of the Republic. Avian feels a sense of relief as he watches the people interact with them, knowing that they are safe and sound.

***

The wine glass clatters onto the floor, breaking into million shards that sheen under the amber light like diamonds; blood red liquid oozes onto the polished Naboo wood of her office. 

“They wish to order more clones from the Kaminoans; for that, they are getting another loan except the interest rate has been increased to 20 percent,” Bail Organa’s voice remains painfully neutral.

Padmé gapes momentarily.

“We are _barely_ nine months into the war and we are willing to pay this much money just for us to get more clones? The clones are people too, we can’t keep using them like this. How many more are going to die before they see the end of this war?” Padmé says.

She stares blankly at the cream-colored walls, tapping her slender fingers to a mindless rhythm on her desk. They are beginning to feel the heat and stress of the war. Under the disguise of haughty laughs and luxurious wines, the senators try to create a false impression that the Republic is doing alright. The cracks are beginning to show as they use more and more clones and Jedi as the red string that keeps them all together. Although the war has yet to touch Coruscant, the standard of living plunges drastically as the finances are diverted to upkeep and maintain their war effort. Propaganda posters are used to placate the general public who begin to notice the fall of standards in their daily lives. It is even worse for those who do not have the means or the money to get hands on halfway decent supplies. Coruscant is on the verge of a housing crisis as more and more refugees register themselves into Coruscant, invoking protection from the battlefields and seeking shelter after the destruction of their homes.

In recent months, an issue in the accessibility of clean water arises as the funds for maintaining the water cleaning plants have been diverted to the war. The tax for receiving water has doubled and is further worsened by the Banking Clan’s ceaseless printing of credits which contributes to inflation. The picture that is painted by the posters is a far cry from reality, Padmé does not see the point of sending a _rosy_ picture of war. Many swoon under the influence of figures like Anakin Skywalker, the Jedi and Clones have become celebrities. There has been a recent influx in productions and movies that centre around the Jedi which Anakin constantly nitpicks about whenever he were to watch them with her.

  
  


“Well, we got to propose something against this bill,” Bail says, “ It is still far too early to spend this much money on the war. We are beginning to fall behind in terms of our domestic policies and we need to divert more funds towards housing considering the _refugees_ ,”

  
  


Padmé hums thoughtfully, “Yeah, we need to divert at least some funds to the refugees. Housing prices are too high for them to afford. Should we propose a new housing plan for refugees?” 

  
  


“I’ll prepare pointers for why we shouldn’t buy more clones and try to get Mon to join; she has valuable contacts to help the refugees,” Bail lists off-handedly, “We’ll meet again tomorrow - _same time, same place_ ,”

Padmé looks up, “I’ll have to start cleaning this mess up then and clear the tables. Goodbye, Bail,”


	3. the war rages, the light is so far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so, there may be medical inaccuracies so please do not use this chapter as a gauge for diagnosing or whatever. if you need to, please, go to a medical professional near you.

Avian’s breathing hitches as he lays flatly on the ground. Black dots dance and his vision swims, he closes his eyes and tries to not focus on the sparks of pain that start from his ribs and makes it hard to breathe. He tries not to move as he hears the panicked yells from his men, frantically yelling for a medic. It is reckless of him to do so, he finally admits. It is so hard to push out any sound from his throat as he tries not to cough copious amounts of blood and only cause more panic among his men. _Pneumothorax,_ he finally realizes as he makes out a silhouette of Anakin and Obi-Wan rushing from behind him.

  
  


“- _Avian_ , stay awake, “ Anakin’s voice feels so distant and far away from him. He feels strangely detached from reality which he chalks up to blood loss. It is hard to breathe, he decides and he really wants to take a quick nap. He can still hear the desperation and panic from his brother’s voice as he clings onto the bright force signatures of his brother and former master. He feels Anakin and Obi-Wan gently force lift him into the hover stretcher and he is quickly dragged into a medical transport and is prepared to be taken back to Coruscant.

  
  


He passes out.

***

Avian wakes up to tubes pressed into his chest cavity to inflate his lungs. His chest feels a lot less heavier and could breathe normally again. He could vaguely make out the medical jargon that is being exchanged by the healers although his mind feels still quite groggy. The explosion has caused three of his ribs to break on which one of them punctured his lungs. In hindsight running right into the explosion is pretty reckless, he could not quite place what state of mind he was in then. However, he is glad that it has not yet cost him his life. The healers leave, Anakin and Obi-Wan enter the room. Any evidence of dirt and toil of battle have been carefully washed off - Obi Wan’s beard is once more cleanly cut neatly, he wears a beige robe neatly ironed and cleaned, Anakin’s hair is washed, cleaned and conditioned as he wears dark robes and his prosthetic covered by a new glove. Personally, Avian wishes to wash himself since he still feels somewhat icky. The cream-colored robes clings onto his skin and made his skin feel itchy and he still feels quite dirty from battle although he is cleaned up.

“Ani?” He asks, his voice rough from disuse as he cracks his eyes open with the dim white lights shown into his face. 

“You should be resting, Avi,” Anakin says firmly.

“You are off active duty for the six weeks to recover, Avian,” Obi-Wan begins, “You really gave us quite the scare back there. You had been asleep for the past few hours. We are more than welcome to get you in touch with the living again,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Avian rolls his eyes, albeit fondly, “How’s Ahsoka anyway? I was supposed to spar with her after the battle but apparently, that explosion knocked me out cold,”

Avian wishes that they would entrust him with a padawan. His brother who is barely twenty has been already stuck with a padawan when he, who has been knighted merely a few months earlier and older than Anakin, does not. Nevertheless, he tunes in to listen to whatever Anakin’s saying.

“-She’s spending a bit of time with Barriss about now. They decided to prepare together for the final exams that are coming up soon. I’m planning to let her stay and prepare for it rather than drag her to the battlefield. It is theory this time so it’s going to be a bit hard since we are behind on theory due to the war and all,” Anakin explains.

A moment of silence spreads as he stares blankly down at the ceramic tiles. Obi-Wan and Anakin do not seem to sense his obvious discomfort, he tightens his shield although his thoughts still feel unprotected. Anakin sends him a vague smile as Obi-Wan studies him intently, the smell of antiseptic begins to make his nose itch as he longs for a bit of freedom instead of being confined to the bed. At least he is not as bad as Obi-Wan who hides his injuries and has been a constant pain in the neck whenever he is to go to the healers. Avian would consider himself a decent patient would not shamelessly run away or try to escape as Obi-Wan would do. He studies the turquoise painted walls as his fingers scrunch up the thin white fabric of the blanket. 

***

Anakin tip-toes into Padmé’s apartment in hopes to surprise her. The apartment is dark with a few glittering amber lights casting long shadows of the furniture on the deep blue walls. Padmé is hunched over her desk, her nose scrunched up as the blue light of the holopads lights up her face; she holds her chocolate locks back with her hands as she reads intently of all the information shown on the piece of flimsi in front of her. A boyish smile appears on Anakin’s face and uses all his years of training to silently walk towards her chair while stifling a giggle. Anakin quickly wraps his arms catching Padmé by surprise as the latter lets out a surprised shriek and grabs the nearest holopad to whack her attacker. She stops almost immediately after catching the glimpse of the sheepish smile of her husband. She visibly relaxes and shakes her head.

“Ani,” She drawls, mock pouting at the young man behind her.

“You forgot to turn on the lights again, didn’t you?” Anakin murmurs as he turns on an overhead lamp in the middle of the room. A flaxen light illuminates the room as Padmé stands up from her working spot. Although dressed simply in a gossamer gown, Anakin cannot help but think she looks absolutely ethereal. He gently runs his fingers through her hair while massaging her scalp as Padmé leans in a bit as enjoys the tight warm embrace of her husband. She presses a quick, chaste kiss to his neck as Anakin’s arms link around the top of her waist. She misses him very much, the war takes much of their time in their lives - Anakin is a front-line Jedi General leading the famed 501st and she is a Galactic Senator. When the war is over, they wish to just run away to Naboo and stay there away from all this fighting and war. There is a small part of her that fears for her husband’s life; it only gnaws even more whenever she sees a news report of an aftermath of another battle as they read out the casualties - she dreads to hear that her husband could be one of those unfortunate people - and the feeling only worsens when they are apart long periods of time where she could not hear the light but comforting breathing of Anakin sleeping next to her or when he isn’t there to hold her whenever she feels low or she is unable to comfort him over another nightmare that pops every so often.

Padmé buries her face into his chest, fighting back a lump on her throat as her mind runs through the worst case scenarios, “I missed you, Ani. I’m so glad to see you safe and alive. I’m scared that you won’t make it sometimes,”

“I won’t die. I’ll hold you until we are old and grey. I promise,” Anakin whispers softly as he breathes in the comforting scent of lavender and sweet bread.

Padmé could not help but bury her face tighter. She is glad that he is back and he knows it is not long before he is dragged off into another campaign. Anakin’s work as a Jedi is very demanding and hence, small moments like this are cherished. She lets her slender fingers tangle into his hair and undoes some of the tangles in his honey-blond locks. Anakin’s embrace tightens around her, his hair smells slightly lemony. She melts into it, nevertheless, she feels something is wrong from the way Anakin hugs her a lot tighter than usual and sounds a little bit more grim than he usually does. 

“What’s wrong? Something’s bothering you,” To Padmé, reading Anakin is simply quite easy. She is not force-sensitive but she has mastered the art of body language. She knows Anakin from all the little quirks and body language he has exhibited in the past few months of their marriage. She caresses his cheek, a strange sense of worry bubbles in her chest.

“Avian got hurt,” Anakin replies grimly as he takes a step back. There is an angry edge to his voice, Padmé notes.

“It’s my fault,” He continues, “If only had I been stronger and faster, he would not have gotten-”

“No, Ani,” Padmé cuts, “ There are going to be casualties in war and it’s going to be hard. But he’s still here and alive. These are all his decisions alone and you should not blame yourself. You need to let go of the need to save everybody, Ani. I know,”

“How so?” Anakin asks, albeit gruffly and crosses his arms.

“Right before the Clone Wars. _Cordé._ My decoy. The ship exploded and she didn’t make it,” Padmé looks down, “ I hoped that it would be safe for her and I hoped that they wouldn't do something so drastic that would kill her. Guess, I was wrong. But, being my decoy was _her_ decision. And, I learnt that I can’t blame myself for the choices of others. You _can’t_ save everyone, Ani, you’ll only destroy yourself in the end. _I don’t want to see that happen to you_ ,”

She places a delicate hand on his cheek, tracing her thumb on the bag under his eye. Anakin’s eyes dart down, his anger melts away as he is left with exhaustion.

“Okay, moonlight. I understand,” He finally says as both of them head to their bed. He exhales heavily, slouching slightly as a testament to his fatigue. Anakin sinks under the soft comforter and blanket almost immediately as she wraps an arm around him and lays her head next to his shoulders.

“I love you, “ Anakin whispers into her ear, falling asleep almost immediately.

“I love you to the end of the galaxy and back,”

***

He is coming near the end of his medical leave. Wandering aimlessly in the temples and keeping oneself from getting bored is not as easy as it seems, however, Avian has a different feeling about today. He is invited to visit the Chancellor again. Palpatine has been nothing but a constant fountain of support and encouragement ever since they came to the temple, fresh and doe-eyed out of slavery. He makes sure he looks neat and presentable and ensured that he does not look like a slob like he was the past two weeks. He walks through the boundless halls of the Senate building which is filled to the brim with haughty and pretentious Senators who could yak on for hours but never did anything productive. It is not that Avian does not believe in democracy but feels that the Republic Senators are corrupt and outdated and need to be replaced. He flattens his sepia hair down as he raps gingerly on the Chancellor’s office.

The door opens to meet a cheerful elder man giving him the brightest smile, “It’s good to see you again, my boy! I’m so glad you have recovered. From what Anakin told me a few weeks ago, you seemed in pretty bad condition,”

“It’s really fine. I’m okay, now. Thanks for asking though,” Avian replies smoothly.

“The war is indeed taxing on all of us,” The Chancellor tells him somberly as he looks at the view behind his humongous chair, “ Currently, there is a new proposal for the refugees about lowering housing price rates for them. And, we have been getting complaints about the rise in water taxes. And, we need more clones. We thought we could collect more revenue from the water so as to get more funds for the clones,”

Avian strokes his chin thoughtfully. The Chancellor crosses his arms behind his back as he looks at the view of Coruscant. The skies are grey as storm clouds begin to gather; lightning forks in the sky as thunder rumbles. The first drops of rain begin to pelt and soon, tiny drops of rain crowd onto the transparisteel window and obscures the view. Another streak of lightning flickers as the Chancellor turns around.

“My boy, what are your greatest concerns about the Jedi?” Palpatine asks as he places an arm on his shoulder.

“I feel that none of them like me or my brother. Well, at least, they can endure with my brother since he is the _chosen one_ and I’m apparently not although it is not confirmed yet,” Avian speaks bitterly, “I try to be the perfect Jedi - I try not to get easily overwhelmed by emotions as my brother does nor do I get overly passionate or attached. Yet, they don’t like me. They scold me for things but don’t scold my brother if he does the exact thing. _It’s unfair_ ,”

“Popularity is a fickle thing, my boy,” Palpatine says, “ my mentor once told me - _only power endures_ ,”

“But, a Jedi does not seek power?” Avian replies, his countenance fades into a mild frown.

  
  


“No one does not seek power, my boy. Only with power can you do meaningful things. Without it, you are _nothing_ ,” Palpatine explains calmly.

***

Darth Sidious seeks an apprentice far younger and more powerful than his current one. His onyx hood casts a long shadow over his pale face and conceals his identity as he speaks in a low growl. Only a select few know his true plans or rather part of it. Old Dooku is a pawn and can be easily discarded once he coaxes his replacement to join. Sidious, personally, appreciates the dark side of the Force. It is patient. It waits and waits and waits until the time is right and engulfs you into its despairing hands. Anger and hatred have such power that is away from the comprehension of even the wildest Jedi. The Clone Wars is merely a puppet show - it is a _hoax_ \- it is orchestrated by him. He is the leader of both sides and no one knows it. While he plays the game of a kind, innocent politician, his apprentice and acolytes do his dirty work. His apprentice, Count Dooku, is wizened and useless and he has found two new replacements - _the Skywalker brothers._

  
  


Old, bumbling Dooku does not know. The Skywalkers are a powerful bunch who have been created directly by the Force. They both have _high midi-chlorian counts_ although it seems the older is short by a few. Nevertheless, getting even one of them on his side could prove incredibly effective to his campaign. The rule of two be damned, he wished to get both of them on his side and they would be unstoppable. Cloning them is out of question since it is incredibly difficult to clone the ever-elusive _midi-chlorians_. He knows Anakin would do anything to save the ones he would love when desperate but it all lands on a very intricate gamble. Avian is a little bit more isolated than his brothers and has much more to work with since he has not many confidantes in which would help him strike off the route. He could possibly threaten the ones he cares about and promises him to satiate his hidden lust for power. Nevertheless, he is going to aim for them both.

***

  
  


Ahsoka leans back onto her wooden chair as she looks at all the datapad in front of her. Her species has been quite famous for using reverse grip as their preferred choice whenever they are doing something. She understands that in lightsaber combat, it is not as handy as it seems. She has come to the compromise of using dual lightsabers - Anakin has been teaching her on how to use her dominant hand lightsaber, which she uses a normal grip, to make up for all the faults when she uses a reverse grip in her other hand. He emphasizes that it _significantly_ shortens range and distance but by using a smaller lightsaber, she may possibly be able to get some use of it. Her lightsaber kata theory test is coming up soon and for some reason, she wishes Anakin is around to drill some theory into her.

  
  


Anakin graduated top in his lightsaber kata class when he was a padawan like her.

  
  


She understands that Anakin has different duties on capitals and thus, cannot spend every waking moment with her. Considering that they are usually stuck together in a ship for a month or even longer, it is a welcome respite. Anakin does take some time to teach her things in the capital, he is not a bad teacher by any means. Ahsoka turns to Barriss whose eyebrows are knitted, deep in concentration as she sifts through chapter over chapter of lightsaber theory that they have learnt since the start of the year. Ahsoka became a padawan far later than most. Most initiates are picked to be padawans from the ages of eleven to thirteen. However, due to the war, most Knights and Masters do not spend much time observing the training of initiates and consequently, do not choose padawans. Master Yoda, one day, suddenly assigns her to someone who probably is _the Chosen One_.

  
  


Ahsoka, at first, did not believe it. _Why would a potential Chosen One of all people want her?_ She inhales sharply as she makes a silent vow to make sure to impress him. Anakin Skywalker is a legend among initiates and padawans alike. At this point, she is used to hearing an occasional senior padawan gushing over her Master and claiming to crush over him. She has to admit, it is rather strange that she suddenly wants to be her friend just to get in contact with the famed Anakin Skywalker. The elders, however, are more reserved on their praise and often critical of him. He joined the Jedi Order older than most - he is impulsive, brash and passionate - which many think is unbecoming of a Jedi. Nevertheless, Ahsoka trusts him with her life.

  
  


“Ahsoka?” Barriss asks, perking up from her holopad.

  
  


“Yeah?” Ahsoka replies, never tearing her eyes away from the holopad.

  
  


“Do you want to test each other?”

  
  


“Sure,”

  
  


***

Avian closes his eyes and lets the Force flow until his fingertips and scans his surroundings. He raises his lightsaber to a head-guard stance and begins to let the Force guide him through his kata exercise. His lightsaber kata is something that he is incredibly confident in. Something about the way one moves their lightsaber feels so elegant and alluring; the clash of them creates a supernova glow with a sound to back it up. He continues to gracefully perform the practiced movements and his breathing evens out as he finishes the last of the exercise. The blade vanishes with a click of a button as he opens his eyes into the empty training room of the _Resolute_.

  
  


Avian is glad that he is no longer stuck in the temple. He finds himself stuck in the flagship of _501st_ for the pure reason that he and his brother need to devise a plan. The incessant humming of the engines and the perpetual sound of footsteps of the troops are barely muted by the durasteel walls. It is a stark reminder of the billions and trillions of people believing in him to bring about justice and if he were to make a mistake, their blood was on his hands. The thought makes bile rise from his throat as he walks out of the training room to find his brother and padawan. The ship itself is neat and sterile, everything done here is systematic and needs to be approved by a system of command. It is frequently patrolled and cleaned. The scent of a low-grade detergent fills his nostrils as he walks throughout the hallways. Avian feels so small and insignificant in comparison although being one of seniors aboard on the ships.

  
  
  


“Ani, there you are,” Avian smiles, looking at Anakin and Ahsoka.

  
  


“Master Skywalker and I were just sparring,” Ahsoka says.

  
  


“Yeah, also, Avi, you up for discussing the plans now. Admiral Yularen wants to meet us now at the bridge,”

  
  


“Alright,” Avian replies as the three of them left for the bridge.

***

Avian leads his troops as he cuts through battle droids and forges his way through the forested planet. The smell of burnt wood irritates his nostrils as blaster bolts ceaselessly travelled through the air in a steady stream. Blaster bolts make their mark on three and singes through its bark. The evening breeze whips through their hair and caresses their cheek as they send an onslaught of blaster bolts towards the droids as they fall down onto the ground, the metal clang is muted by the patches of grass that stretches throughout the ground. Avian yells his instructions and commands his men to keep on moving. The difference between clones and droids that droids don’t need things like food and water. His men radiate exhaustion and heaviness and yet, they push themselves to their fullest to guarantee their victory. His senses stretch around the surroundings as he uses the Force to fuel him to continue pushing on.

  
  


Avian wears his brave face so as to keep his troop morale up. His cerulean lightsaber is a source of hope and a beacon to all his men as he uses it to plunge into his enemies and to ensnare a victory. However, the droids keep coming and coming. There is no end to their marching, their rhythm only muted by the verdant grass- the only noise that alerts them of their presence is the ruffle of the leaves. Shots resound throughout the forest like it is a battle arena; Avian is strangely reminded of the first Geonosis battle that triggered the war. The soldiers hold their heads up high, not showing any signs of defeat and definitely not intimidated by the sheer amount of force that the droids pose in overwhelming numbers. He deflects away red bolts which make its marks on the droid and they fall onto the ground creating a domino effect. A grenade is thrown and they explode as fumes drift across the pearlescent sky and yellow-orange sparks dance. 

Avian knows nightfall is near from the splotches of orange, red and pink that mingle in the sky; dark blue begins to bleed from above as the sun sinks lower into the horizon. He breathes in sharply and takes a sprint to destroy the battle droids with a flourish. Commander Draft blasts down a couple as they come to further take the ground of their enemies. Avian thinks that they can finish this battle by nightfall. This has been going on for three days and the limits of being a human are coming to bite them in the back. Avian pauses to catch his breath and with a momentum of a spin, swings into several battle droids as they clatter onto the ground lifeless.

A feeling of relief rushes over when they see that some of the Separatist Commanders have begun to flee. Avian uses the feeling of relief as a rush of energy to finish off the last burst of battle droids. His men shoot them down as the blaster bolts land right on the battle droids. They fall down onto the ground and Avian keeps his senses heightened to look for any signs of another wave. Fortunately, they are safe now and let fatigue engulf themselves. Avian takes out of his holocom to call Admiral Yularen to send them _LAAT/i gunships_ to pick them up. Anakin and Ahsoka should have been successful in their airstrike by now and taken hold of the capital.

They wait for a solid thirty minutes to get the transports to arrive, and the soldiers fit-for-transport board onto the gunships. He boards after Commander Draft into the gunship, the sound of the engines resound in his ears. His robes are covered in dust, blood and grime; his hair tousled from the wind and sticking to his forehead from the sweat. The doors of _LAAT/i gunships_ close and they are lifted off the ground and back to the _star destroyers_ waiting for them up above.

  
  
  



	4. stretched thin, reaching limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! yes, another chapter. i would really love what you think of the chapter and your favorite parts. well, this chapter is to mostly establish relationships and for me to map out palpatine's manipulations, avian's dreams and hopes. hopefully, i did the canon characters justice. and we shall meet near the end and interact in the comment section.

The _Mid-Rim Sieges_ rage on as the Clone Wars spreads its influence across the galaxy. The marching of battalions filled with clones or droids is not an uncommon occurrence anymore. The dawn of _20 BBY_ crawls rather quietly over the galaxy as it grows grey and weary from the ceaseless conflict and loss that spreads like wildfire across the galaxy. The Force mourns for the lives lost whether they are soldiers or civilians caught in the crossfire; there is an undeniable edge of darkness that threatens to engulf as a whole. A weight weighs down upon the once vibrant and prosperous galaxy, leaving many lost. The number of refugees has doubled since the start of the war as the demand for clean water, housing and food becomes even more crucial. Padmé leaves the rotunda of the amphitheatre and strides across the snaking hallways of the Senate building. It has been nine months since she last saw Anakin. Her husband has been dragged into the _Mid-Rim Sieges_ as he hops from planet to planet, fighting in the front lines for a Republic victory. She knows how crucial Anakin is to the war effort, however, there is gnawing anxiety that Anakin would not make it out alive.

Padmé walks into her apartment to look at the emptiness of her apartment. The fleeting moments and stolen kisses never fail to raise her heart and make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world, however, it happens so rarely that it hurts. She misses his soft voice whispering hopeful promises into her ears as they talk about running away to Naboo after the war ends. Every time she is to turn to a news channel and hears the reporter reading out names of deceased from battles, her heart gets stuck in the throat as she prays to the pantheon of Naboo Goddesses that her husband’s name would not be in the list. The absence of his warm arm across her abdomen and his bountiful compliments, whenever she is in her apartment, creates a gaping hole in her chest. The time they spend is too little and fleeting but she has to stay strong for the sake of the Republic.

She makes a promise to herself that when they reach the end of the war, she is going to spend as much time with Anakin so that they can catch up for lost time.

***

A short reprieve is almost always appreciated by the troops and himself. The moment they set foot on Coruscant, he finds himself tearing his ways and weaving through the men to Padmé's apartment. They exchange goodbyes and farewells and before he knew it, he finds himself near the threshold of her apartment - _their apartment_ , Padmé tells him once, running her slender fingers through his hair and rubbing his back when he was sick that day, unable to keep anything down - the bio scan recognizes him and the door slides itself open. Anakin finds her standing near the balcony, her fountain of dark waves sheens under the amber lighting of the room and frames her face. The deep purple of her satin gown heightens her alabaster skin and Anakin could not help but think that she looks perfect.

  
  


“There you are, moonlight,” Anakin breathes and wraps his arms around her. She buries her face into her shoulder as Padmé places a small peck on the top of his forehead.

  
  


“Oh, sunshine,” Padmé whispers into his ears, listening to the rhythm of his breathing, “I missed you so much,”

  
  


They melt into each other’s embrace on the balcony, not caring for anyone who may be looking at them right now. Padmé is so glad to see him alive and unharmed, holding her tightly in his strong, warm arms and not caring for whatever consequences that may follow if they ever found out about their illicit relationship. At first, she was cautious about this whole thing but a small part of her realizes that her feelings run deeper than she originally thought. The times they spent on Naboo alone may have softened her a bit and she realizes after all they have gone through, she loved him. Padmé, sometimes, wishes their circumstances might have been a bit different but never in a thousand years will she ever let go of Anakin. If she were to be asked to make the same choice again in the future, she knows her choice will always be Anakin.

  
  


“How are the _Mid-Rim Sieges_ going, anyway?” Padmé asks as she strides across the balcony into their living quarters.

Anakin follows, “Most of the Mid-Rim planets are currently under the Republic with the exception of Malastare but we formalized a treaty with the _Dug Council_ so we can get access to the fuel reserves. However, there are still some planets that have active battles ongoing. Master Koon is currently leading an airstrike in _Ansion-_ they asked for troops as they are being overwhelmed by the Separatists,”

Padmé nods. 

“So, the _501st_ is on a two-week break away from the battlefield so it is going to be just us for the next two weeks,” Anakin says, “ _Well_ , I’m expected to take this a break to meditate but I have decided to stay with you and spend some time together; it’s going to be great!”

Padmé hums, “ It has been a while since we spent time together like this. We can’t go to _Naboo_ since I still have my work but at least we can spend some time having breakfast, lunch and dinner together,”

Anakin nods, “Anything for you, m’lady,”

“I thought we were way past this stage, my handsome little Jedi,” Padmé smirks.

Anakin scowls, “ Well, you know I have to plan my lines after the _‘I don’t like sand’_ thing,” 

Padmé gives a huff of laughter, “But, you still got the girl, didn’t you?”

“That I did,” Anakin whispers as they press their lips together for a long, passionate kiss, “And, I wouldn’t change that for the world,”

***

Anakin has asked Avian to teach Ahsoka a little more on _Soresu_ or _Form III_ ; normally, the job is entrusted to Obi-Wan but their former master’s schedule is packed with meetings and debriefs as some of the platoons are returning back to Coruscant. Therefore, the next best bet is him. He finds Ahsoka sitting in Anakin’s and Ahsoka’s apartment. Jedi Masters and padawans tend to share spaces although, during the war, it does not happen as often now. Although his favored form is not Soresu, he likes to think that he is good at _Soresu_ . Ahsoka seems to be reading a book with Anakin nowhere in sight. Avian would be lying if he says that he was surprised at the disappearance of his brother. Ever since the first Geonosis battle, Anakin seems to always disappear whenever they are on Coruscant. He does not exactly know what prompted the change but he is mostly always missing or away from the Jedi Temple. He understands that during _war-time_ that one wishes a break away from the battle. The Jedi Temple is expected to be a haven to the Jedi during these trying times for the Jedi to meditate and relax before they are shipped off to fight against the ever omnipresent threat of the Separatists.

“Ahsoka?” He calls out, the Togruta perks up and turns her head in his direction.

  
  


“Master Skywalker,” Ahsoka says in poorly-hidden surprise, “Where’s Skyguy?”

Avian shrugs. Truth to be told, no one has any idea on where Anakin is whenever they are on planet. Whenever they are on a campaign, they are almost always stuck together and he just assumes it's just a welcome reprieve from each other and some alone time. They walk to the dojo without uttering a word. The dojo has wooden-plated floors and towering ivory painted walls which last about two stories with a wooden ceiling from which large lights hang from above. Ahsoka and Avian walk in to see a couple of Master-Padawan duos sparring before having their lunch. He notices a couple of initiates by the corner gossiping after a small tutoring session with one of the Jedi Masters. Avian quickly tosses two training sabers to Ahsoka and takes another training saber for his own use.

“Alright, normal grip for your dominant hand and reverse grip for your other?” Avian asks.

Ahsoka nods, “At first, Master Anakin says that reverse grip isn’t encouraged so we decided to train with the normal grip on my dominant hand just so I can get more flexibility and not be limited by range,” 

“Starting positions,” Avian instructs and holds his training saber in a head guard position.

They begin quickly as Ahsoka swiftly parries his strikes away from her. Avian focuses on his attack as Ahsoka defends herself with swift strikes of their sabers. Training sabers do not do as much damage as real lightsabers although contact with skin might prove to be painful and leave you with welts and bruises. They are commonly used by initiates and Jedi who are merely training and not on field. However, those experienced in lightsaber combat tend to prefer fighting with their own sabers rather than using training ones. Ahsoka parries from the left and feints a strike to the right. Avian does his best to keep up with padawan whilst pointing out errors and mistakes in form or tactics. They do so for about five minutes until Avian defeats Ahsoka. They decide to take a quick water break before going for another few rounds.

“Good job, Ahsoka,” Avian praises as the padawan lays flat on her back and splashes a bit of water onto her face.

“Thanks,” Ahsoka pants out and gives him a thumbs-up. She is yet to be injured in their practice duels so far. From what he knows if she gets injured, Anakin takes care of it unless it's way far for his limited knowledge in healing and comes to him. After cooling down, Ahsoka leaves the room as Avian leaves to meet with the Chancellor.

***

The moment he walks into the room, a lavender scent attacks his nostrils and notices a couple of Senators sitting in front of the desk - one he recognizes as _Padmé Amidala_ , someone his brother has been infatuated with and cannot stop talking about her whenever possible and the other one is someone who recently joined the Senate - _Riyo Chuchi_ , the Senator of _Panthora_. Palpatine dismisses the two women as they leave the room. The Chancellor gives him a huge smile and stretches his arms out. Avian returns the favor with a smile for his own as the old man wraps a frail arm around his neck as his long fingers rest on his shoulders like a comforting weight over his shoulder. 

“Avian, how good it is to see you. I was talking to your brother a few hours ago. Speaking of your brother, I want to ask a few questions,” Palpatine begins ominously.

Emotion mounts on his throat. His brother hardly ever tells him what goes on in his life anymore. Avian understands that Anakin is growing up and no longer a clingy, bright-eyed nine-year-old that follows him like a duckling with wanderlust. However, a small part of him misses the times during their padawanship in which they are their only company. In the early days, most padawans and initiates were reluctant to mix with them; a couple of more daring padawans made fun of them calling them names and poking fun at being former slaves. Whenever they get into fights with other padawans, _Ferus Olin_ if Avian is being specific, they always find each other in their shared apartment with Obi-Wan and wait with bated breath to be reprimanded by Obi-Wan. Little things like this are slowly stolen away from them as the war enters the picture and they begin to separate and distance themselves from each other.

“What about my brother, Chancellor?” Avian’s throat bobs.

“Has he been particularly distant with you?” Palpatine averts his gaze as his beryl orbs meet with his cerulean ones.

Avian’s mouth goes dry, parched like the dry sands on Tatooine, “I d-don’t know, I’m not sure,”

His confidence wavers as Palpatine’s gaze does not seem to falter. Palpatine looks at him, “My boy, I’m just trying to help you. I’m asking as friends,”

His voice has a strangely calming effect to it. Avian opens his mouth, “Well, er, yes. Ever since Geonosis,”

“Would you believe me if I say that Senator Amidala and your brother are married?” Palpatine says, his voice is calm like before a storm.

Avian’s gaze hardens and his countenance contorts into something accusatory, “No, it can’t be. He couldn’t have just betrayed the Jedi Order like that. The Jedi Order is his _life_ ,”

Palpatine remains calm, there is no sort of quiver to his voice and a scary steadiness to it, “ I was informed of this only recently; one of the clergymen from Naboo told him about it and confirmed by Captain Panaka himself although to him, it is more of a suspicion. He doesn’t trust you, my boy. Families don’t keep big secrets like this away from each other,”

A small part of Avian refuses to believe what Palpatine has told him but the Force resonates with him with truth and the betrayal and hurt are hurled back into his chest and makes him feel as if his breath is stolen away from him. He gulps and stares at the elderly in disbelief as if a knife has been plunged into his heart. His expression remains unreadable as he collects himself back to think of an intelligible reply.

“This morning I was talking with Anakin and he admitted to me that he wants to leave the order this morning. He thinks the Jedi isn’t his place and I take it that he has not discussed with you yet?”

Avian studies the Chancellor’s face intently for any signs of lies but there is none. His kindly face etched with sympathy and compassion, Avian almost feels bad for doubting on the old man. However, a nagging doubt still resides and ebbs at the back of his brain; the Force, however, resonates within him and tells him that it is the only truth there is to tell.

“If Senator Amidala makes him happy, I wouldn’t have told the Order,” Avian whispers shakily.

The Chancellor nods, his eyes are so full of compassion and sympathy. A small part of Avian wants to embrace the fact that his only true ally in this twisted galaxy is the man standing before him offering him advice and unconditional love. Avian quickly pushes the thought away as guilt begins to bubble in overwhelming amounts and overflow from the small little cauldron in his heart that he tries to inhibit it from coming out. Maybe, Anakin does not even mean him that much hurt. Maybe, this whole thing is a big misunderstanding.

“I need to talk to my brother,” Avian finally says.

“Don’t,” The Chancellor’s words are sharp and crisp but, kind nevertheless, “You don’t want him to hate you, do you? Whatever said in this room stays in his room,”

Avian could only nod meekly.

  
  


***

The wind blows through his hair as smoke drifts and billows across the landscape. Bright orange sparks dance as the stench of plastoid permeates through the air. The last sliver of sunlight disappears as the yawning darkness begins to engulf the sky and the gentle touch of moonlight bathes over the sparse expanse of forestry and barren soil. The gentle light outlines the rock structures and trees. Avian finds something sorrowful and solemn radiating from beneath the crustaceans that crawl up periodically from the ocean side of the planet as they dance and wave to a sad song whistled by the ocean breeze. Grey waves wash at the shore in a sudden act of violence and foams as it has been silenced. From the corner of his eyes, he notices Anakin running holding someone wrapped in brown robes stained crimson towards the medical tent set up to tend to the casualties of this god-forsaken war. 

His brother radiates desperation and fear, his terror threatens to engulf his heart as Avian, now equally as alarmed, rushes towards him to see the unfortunate soul in Anakin’s arms is none other than Obi-Wan. Grime clings onto his usually primly trimmed beard and soot covers his cheek, he looks nothing like the revered Jedi Master that the holonet likes to paint. However, he still feels a faint amount of life from the man from the faint but unsteady rise and fall of his chest and labored breathing. Anakin fights back tears as the clone medics transfer him onto one of the hover stretchers and watches the crimson mix with the sterile white of the thin sheets separating the hard metal and Obi-Wan. He disappears into the tent with Kix and Helix inside. Avian purses his lips, trying to release his feelings into the Force.

“Don’t worry, Generals,” Sergeant Coric reassures, hiding his own turmoil and distraught under a strong, emotionless guise, “General Kenobi will be fine. It is nothing too worrisome. It is just a large side wound and lost a lot of blood. We are prepping him for a blood transfusion as we speak. If he had come to us earlier and not try and hide his injuries, we would not be in this situation,”

Avian frowns although not surprised. Obi-Wan has a habit of hiding his injuries; he is a pain to most medics either trying to convince them it is not serious or attempts to escape. Back in the early days of war and Anakin was still a Commander, after missions in which Obi-Wan got hurt really bad, it became customary that he comforts Anakin during the aftermath. Although he has grown a lot more distant since then, Anakin still seeks some guidance when it comes to times like this. 

“What happened?” He asks.

“Hid his injuries again,” Anakin says bitterly, “ Explosion happened near the east side of the sector. Thought it was a good idea to skip the medic and continue the campaign. Collapsed on me at the end, brought him here,”

Avian nods understandingly and crosses his arms across his chest. Upon hearing what his brother has said, he feels like he has aged about a hundred years and the weariness he has been fighting the past hour engulfs him. They crane their head towards the number of clones who have lain their life for a war they never caused. Commander Cody lights up the large pyre and Rex takes out a list of those who have fallen in the line of duty as his Commander, Draft, bows his head in mourning and starts the first verse of a song they have always sung after every battle. Anakin hums along to the tune as his way of showing respect as Avian watches with steady eyes as the fire devours the corpses of the fallen soldiers, some still unnamed and others who have stepped into the battlefield for the first time in their lives and of course, the veterans who are scarred and seen things that no man should have seen. Avian listens to the choked sobs and watches some of the newer troopers bury their faces into the plastoid chest armor of their older.

“He’ll be okay, sir, ” Kix comes and says to Anakin, Avian squeezes his shoulder in support.

_Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum_

_(I’m still alive but you are dead. I remember you so you are eternal)_

_(Rex recites the names in a loud voice.)_

_Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la_

_(Not gone, merely marching far far away)_

Everyone standing outside says that including himself and his brother; some state it loudly and boldly and others mouth or whisper it like a solemn vow.

  
  


***

The Jedi Council Chamber is almost empty for most of the Masters are participating in campaigns or in the middle of a battle that might as well turn the tide of the war. Some who are not in battle have appeared in a form of a blue hologram of themselves and are seated on the velvet red chairs which are arranged in a circle. Master Yoda has been the Grand Master of the Jedi Order for many generations, he has seen people come and go. He has seen initiates becoming padawans, padawans become knights, knights become masters. He watches as members of the Council sit down as he prepares to start the meeting, feeling slightly disheartened at the number of seats that are empty due to this war. The Force is dark and clouded, especially in the Senate and Coruscant. It seems a thick fog has settled over the proud metropolis and no longer can he see anything clearly and the truth of the future remains in mystery. Yoda has his doubts on the two Skywalker brothers but he has to admit that they are crucial to a Republic victory. Nevertheless, he senses great danger coming forward and something about the darkness revolves around them. They are too old, too emotional, too passionate - they seek adventure and exhilaration which is unbecoming of many Jedi.

Yoda has yet to see them give themselves up to the Force or bask in serenity. The war strengthens them, they revere the war - in a strange way does the fight fuel them - they still have much to learn. He watches Obi-Wan walk into the chamber only recently recovered from yet another injury that he tried to hide. His auburn hair neatly combed and his beard neatly trimmed and he is clad in neatly-pressed beige robes; in fact, it seems he has not been injured at all. Not a hair out of place, he sits on his designated seat. The meeting begins as they talk about all sorts of problems that have arisen from this war. Yoda feels tendrils of darkness licking at what are the remnants of the light side of the Force, many have either left or passed. Death is a natural part of life, Yoda has long learnt to accept that. The once-bustling Jedi Temple feels almost lifeless since many are shipped out and scattered across the galaxy, fighting for a chance of a Republic victory.

The meeting adjourns an hour later and small cracks in serenity could be seen in the faces of his fellow Jedi Masters. There seems to be no end to this war, the hallway feels endless and the answer is shrouded by darkness.

***

Avian purses his lips as he notices his brother is missing once again. He remembers what the Chancellor says as feelings of hurt and betrayal seize his heart and feels an unpleasant feeling bubble in his chest. Master Che has asked him to leave and take rest before they are shipped out to another campaign tomorrow. Nothing feels fair anymore and even the advice given in good nature feels like poison to him. The words of the Chancellor echoes in his head like a never-ending mantra that makes him feel sick to his stomach. Anakin is supposed, to be honest with him, they are family. _Why has he not been told that his brother is married?_ Is _he merely an expendable object? Is he not a trustworthy person?_ His stomach churns uncomfortably as he shifts his sitting position. 

He tries to sleep but his thoughts keep him awake. His mind flashes scenarios of him telling Anakin that he knows his secret. He knows he is three midi-chlorians short from Anakin. In many ways, his brother has always been the golden child from being gifted in mechanics to flying all the way until his lightsaber kata. He is better at some things like healing, nevertheless, he craves for the attention his brother gets and the importance that he is given. It is not that he is greedy but coming from an unimportant background in which he is cast aside by many, a small part of him wishes some sort of acknowledgment. _A Jedi craves no recognition,_ Master Yoda would tut but he is only human. And, there is only so far a human can go.

He exhales uneasily and banishes his thoughts in favor of sleeping for tomorrow’s campaign. Maybe, tomorrow’s his day. _Hopefully_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, if i made any mistake, please point them out and I'll try to edit it if its something really major. please comment down your thoughts and kudos please. if you like to talk to me, i shall leave my username for my tumblr and amino below.
> 
> tumblr: lukegarmadon
> 
> star wars amino: ani


	5. the more you want, the further it will be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the mortis arc.

“Must get to the bottom of the mysterious message, you must. Figure out why and how you will. Report to us when you get back, you must,” Master Yoda taps his cane on the floor twice to create a rapping noise against the ceramic floor.

Obi-Wan bows, nodding, “That, we will, Master Yoda,”

Avian, Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan leave in a small shuttle and prepare to meet with the 501st in their agreed rendezvous. 

  
  


***

They wake up to blinding light filtering through the dark shuttle, specks of dust dance forward as Avian cracks his eyes open. The planet is breath-taking with rocks floating in the cerulean sky and white clouds drift pass. The meadows are covered in verdant lush grass and many beautiful, exotic and unexplored plants thrive under the brilliant sunlight that graces the magnificent land. The last thing he remembers is sitting in the Twilight whilst Anakin asks through his communicator about the whereabouts of the 501st when a bright light blinds them and they have landed here. Anakin groans and cranes his neck towards the back to meet with Ahsoka blearily rubbing at her eyes. Obi-Wan is immediately alert as he scans his surroundings.

“I must’ve blacked out,” Anakin announces redundantly.

“Then, who landed the ship?” Obi-Wan asks with a frown on his countenance.

“Not me,” Ahsoka chirps.

Avian hums for a moment before seconding Ahsoka.

“Where are we, then?” Anakin asks.

“Some kind of organic mass. All of our readings indicate that it's bigger than an asteroid. But at least the atmosphere is breathable,” Ahsoka replies.

“Well, this is getting more unusual by the minute. I can't even lock down where in the galaxy we are. Or if we are even in our own galaxy,” Obi-Wan replies, frowning.

They leave their shuttle into the planet. Ahsoka squints her eyes as she notices a reflection in front of her, when she asks the others if they have seen it, she is met with confusion and _‘no’s_. Anakin hears something - a woman’s voice asking if he was the one - the planet itself seems like a riddle until they meet a celestial being in front of them. She introduces herself as the Daughter. She is a pretty sight with long green locks with equally green eyes to match; her skin is alabaster with rosy cheeks and her lips are an earthly shade of pink.

They are split quite quickly with Avian and Anakin with the Daughter and Obi-Wan and Ahsoka near the foot of the rocky terrain. The Daughter quickly swipes away his hand as Anakin wrinkles his nose in distaste. Avian crosses his hands, eyeing the being dubiously. She examines the wreckage and walks away from them, her nose still held high.

“That was my brother's work. You are in great danger. Wait for me. Do not leave this place.” She warns ominously and leaves without a word.

“Hey! Wait up!” Avian tries to get her attention but she quickly has disappeared out of sight. 

Anakin grumbles, crossing his arms; his pout reminds him of a wet loth-kitten, “She just left us like that,”

Anakin’s communicator beeps and Obi-Wan’s voice resounds from the other end, “Avian, Anakin, are you there? Are you all right?”

“Yeah. But our friend here has run off! Go back to the ship and try sending another distress call. I'll follow her and find out how to get off this rock,” Anakin replies quickly.

“Ani, that’s ill-advised. Maybe, we should find something more or less safer and less reckless?” Avian tries to salvage and achieves a gruff agreement from the other side of the comm.

“Nah, let’s go. There has to be something or some sort of clue that will help us get off this rock. Staying here and waiting is not going to quicken that process,” Anakin bolts with Avian sprinting behind him to keep up.

***

“Out of the two of you, one of you is the _Chosen One_ ,” The old man says, his electric blue eyes stare so intensely that it feels that the man could read all your thoughts, hopes, feelings and dreams. Avian feels strangely naked in front of the man as he stares back coldly and tries to remain gallant although he can feel his confidence slipping down like sand. Avian tries not to think about his dreams in which his mother appears before him. He has stopped Anakin from killing the sand people during their visit to Tatooine and yet, something in his heart remains misplaced and the anger directed at the Tusken Raiders has never quite been put off. The flame only burns stronger when he remembers the fateful day - his brother sobbing into his shoulder and he brings her home wrapped in an old, thick sack - Avian glares back at the enigma before him taking in a deep breath.

“Is it the older or the younger?” The man tuts, “ The Chosen One holds great power, great responsibility and the Force hands it to mere humans, boys, barely entering their adulthood. _How curious, how curious…_ ”

“You’re a Sith Lord,” Avian growls lowly, “You made it seem like our mother is still alive. You are playing tricks on us,”

“Force-wielders,” The elder corrects, “ And, that is the work of _my son._ The shapes we embody are merely a reflection of the life force around us. You carry a great sadness in your heart. My children and I can manipulate the force like no other, therefore, it was necessary to withdraw from the temporal world and live here as anchorites,”

“A sanctuary?” Anakin raises his eyebrows.

“And a prison; you cannot imagine what pain it is to have such love for your children and realize that they could tear the very fabric of our universe,”

Avian shakes his head, “We don’t understand,”

“And, I don’t expect you to either. But, it is not the reason that we are here,” The ominous words make a shiver run through his spine, “ Which one of you is _the Chosen One_?”

“It’s a myth,” Anakin replies shortly.

“Only a fool believes that,” The Father responds, “No living human being has ever held such power before like you two. One has to directly descend from the Force to wield it. I would like to know whether it’s a myth or is it real. _Pass one test, and I shall know the truth. Then you and your friends may leave_ ,” 

***

Rocky cavernous structures spiral up to the sky with a stage in the middle in which it is painted brown and beige. Warm amber light pools onto the arena as the three men walk onto the platform. Avian takes in the sights with awe although his distrust for the eldest of the group remains. A long dark shadow casts upon them as they look up to see two gargoyles holding a person each descends as their great wings flap and wakes up a strong wind. The Father’s expression remains unreadable as Anakin and Avian notice that the two people are indeed, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. They rush forward in hopes to save their friends only to be held back by the elder man.

“Whatever he wants, don’t do it, Master,” Ahsoka warns from atop, desperately scrambling for a way to escape.

“ It is time to face your guilt and know the truth,” The ominous words make Avian shudder.

“Let them go, we won’t play your game,” Anakin snarls.

“Both of us never agreed to this if it involves hurting them,” Avian adds.

“But, there is no choice for you, my young friends,” The elder man says, “ You must choose and free yourself from the guilt. It is either your master or your apprentice. And, only one at the time and one try only,”

“Their powers are too strong for us,” Obi-Wan yells, “Save Ahsoka,”

“You little _sleemo-_ ” Anakin growls as Avian holds him back in an attempt to prevent his brother from doing something rash. Avian sends a glare of his own and tries to think of some way for them to save their friends.

“You, you will go first. The younger one. The one with the higher count,” The elder man points to Anakin. He reluctantly walks forward as a hint of nervousness worms its way into his stomach and threatens to engulf every fibre of his being.

Avian watches his brother reluctantly walk forward and steps into the middle of the arena. The Father looks at him with interest as Avian, at that moment, hopes that his brother would be able to save his master and his padawan. Avian bites his lips and an unpleasant feeling bubbles from the very depths of his stomach. 

“Anakin, the planet is the force. Use it,” Obi-Wan instructs.

Anakin nods and closes his eyes and outstretches his hands and senses across the arena. He lifts the two gargoyles up with merely his command of the Force. He commands them to let them go as his voice turns almost ethereal with an echo. The ground starts glowing with thousands of little light casting pools of white light and twinkles like stars. The clear blue sky bleeds into a dark navy blue with dark clouds drifting across with stars twinkling brightly - it is breath-taking sight - as he releases Obi-Wan and Ahsoka onto the ground. The two ignite their lightsaber in defense as he brings the two of them closer and releases them against the borders of the arena. They fall and let small rocks of dust and debris fall and balloon. He brings them down to their knees in front of him. That moment does everyone realize that Anakin is, indeed, _the Chosen One._ The doubts that have been held thus far have been cleared as Anakin lets them go and feels himself wobble slightly. Warm amber light casts pools of itself on the ground as the darkness fades. Anakin steadies himself and looks at Avian.

A huge realization dawns upon him that no longer is he _the Chosen One_ and that his long fantasies of being a warrior revered by many and the one to destroy the Sith is crushed. Avian Skywalker realizes that he is not _the Chosen One_ after many years of being told that he might be the one. It then leads to a series of events in which the Son tries to recruit them but it all ends in shambles for him. The first one to go is the Daughter who sacrificed herself for the Father; the Daughter then gives her life force to save Ahsoka using Anakin as a conduit. The Father stabs himself with the Dagger of Mortis thus, ending the son’s immortality and powers. In the end, Anakin kills the Son.

The Father, Daughter and Son are no longer for they have passed. All of them wake up back in their shuttle once more in the middle of nowhere. Captain Rex tries to contact them. They return to Coruscant.

  
  


***

Avian dreams of a time in which he is the one in place of Anakin using the Force to tame the Daughter and Son in a trial put forward by the Father in which he frees Obi-Wan and Ahsoka and proves to everyone and himself that he’s _the Chosen One_ as the day bleeds into darkness and back again as a testament to the power he holds. When he wakes up, he realizes that it could never be true unless he were to be in a separate timeline which is near impossible. A small part of him is grateful that Anakin is the one who volunteered to go first for it is only he who could free them. Nevertheless, his fantasies still never quite left him. The blue light of the war room illuminates his features and outlines everyone in the room; Avian is carefully hunched over the table and pours open through the holomaps and holopads as they discuss strategies for their next campaign and familiarize themselves with the new intel. It merely confirms that Anakin, indeed, is going to be much more powerful and more revered than him. Not that he is jealous, however, Avian does not like to be sidelined. To the Jedi Order, he is yet another expendable member unable to control his emotions and unimportant to their cause. 

The Chancellor has invited him to talk once more. The news came in the form of an unusually cheerful Anakin who has been missing from the Jedi Temple the past three nights. Avian puts on his cloak and combs his hair to the side with the help of his fingers. The Senate building is unusually loud that day with Senators streaming from the doors of the Senate Rotunda back into the comforts of their office. Avian weaves through the throngs of people, ensuring that his cloak doesn’t get caught beneath the foot of an unfortunate Senator. Navigating through the winding hallways into Palpatine’s office seems to take eons and the incessant chatter of the senators does not make it seem any easier. He has used this path many times in the past and yet, today, he feels a foreboding feeling clawing its way to his throat. Avian reaches the office, a mere minute before their agreed time. He sees a few senators leave the office, paperwork pressed closely against their chests as if it is the only valuable thing in this war.

“Ah, your brother has told you, I presume?” Palpatine asks, a beaming smile lights up his features as his eyes glisten under the dim lighting of the room. 

Avian nods, “Yes, Chancellor,”

The Chancellor hums in reply, “Your last mission was quite the adventure, I presume. Your brother retold it to me this morning. Although it has proven that he is _the Chosen One_ , he still feels its a myth,”

“Well, I don’t feel it's a myth. To some extent, the prophecy is true. Both of us were born in strange circumstances; back in Tatooine, the _Grandmother_ of the slave quarters did not actually believe it. We were talented in things that take people years to learn. And, strangely, I was able to heal the sick although it only happened rarely. So seeing how strange our lives are, I guess being a _Chosen One_ is not so far-fetched,” Avian explains.

Palpatine nods slowly, his gaze feels distant as his grey-blue orbs stare blankly at the door of his office. After what feels like eons, he opens his mouth and softly asks, “How do you feel about your brother being _the Chosen One_?”

Avian freezes for a moment, a part of him wants to lie smoothly that he is happy about it and leave it at there. His breathing hitches, his unfaltering gaze seems like it could steal all the thoughts in his head. His mind races uncomfortably but this man has been nothing but kind and gracious. He has done a huge favor to both him and his brother by taking both under his wing and helping them adjust to the bustling life of a Jedi whilst being a constant pillar of support and praise. He feels chastised to even think of lying to this man. The Chancellor places a hand on his shoulder to which he flinches and recoils and quickly apologizes.

“Are you alright, son?” He inquires, his voice brimming with compassion and love.

“Yes, yes,” Avian replies hastily, “ well, I would be lying if I were to say I am happy about it,”

“Why?” prompts the Chancellor, sounding strangely eager.

“Well, I guess I wanted to be the Chosen One? Not that I’m jealous or want to hog the glory but all my life, I had been told I was more likely to be the Chosen One up until the war and then, it is confirmed that it is indeed Ani. I feel _cheated_ ,”

“Your feelings are, well, validated, my boy,” The Chancellor says slowly, “Nevertheless, we can’t change fate. And, there is something to be happy about here - the Jedi are more likely to try and control Anakin than you. However, they are still afraid of your power. You are still just as powerful as your brother, aren’t you? You are just slightly lower than him in your midi-chlorian count. I think you are just as capable as Anakin if not even more,”

“Thank you, Chancellor, but he has always been more _Force-attuned_ than me,” he answers, “ I know it is only a few but it seems to make a huge difference. Ani is able to lift things and use the Force much easier than I can. Sometimes, I just wish that it was me who had the higher midi-chlorian count. But, eh, if the Force wills it, we gotta listen,”

“My boy, I may not understand the Force as you do but hasn’t the Force’s will brought so much suffering to our galaxy. If the Jedi has been firmer in their actions and more flexible, this war would have been over a long time ago,” 

“I guess,”

***

“Last night with you before they send me to the _Outer Rim Sieges_ ,” Anakin says forlornly, leaning against the marble pillar and looking at the watercolor sky streaked with splotches of pinks and oranges. The coruscanti skyline glimmers with the traffic as blue light flickers and glows steadily from the distance. The sun sinks lower into the horizon, the orange light stains his face and stares blankly.

Padmé cranes her neck from the divan, her forehead creases in scrutiny. She brushes away stray strands of her hair behind her ears and stands up from the piles of holopads and flimsies that are placed on the dark wooden coffee table next to a cup painted by Anakin for her during one of the annual Jedi festivals back near the beginning of the war. Anakin finally walks into the living area, his footsteps light against the carpet and inches closer towards her. The war has been taxing on all; the Senate has its little civilness it had and has dissolved into a stage for senators to hurl angry insults and throw tantrums. Anakin rests the top of his chin over her head, humming something under his breath as he watches her type on her datapad. 

“Ani,” Padmé says, her petite palm reaching out to his cheek and gently traces the shape of his cheek, “ It’s been really nice having you around for a while. It is quite a change to have you do all the chores in the house while I work. Usually, my aides help me but it is not quite the same as having your husband helping you around the house,”

  
  


Anakin beams, “ Yeah, I’m really glad that I am even in the presence of someone like you,”

  
  


Padmé nuzzles at his neck, her lips brushing against the bottom of his jaw, “Weren’t you a real romantic when you were nineteen,”

Anakin turns red, his eyes wide in embarrassment before he scowls, “I thought we agreed we won’t talk about that,”

  
  


“Don’t worry, Ani,” Padmé replies fondly, “I have seen even worse flirts. By that I mean, they flirted not because they loved me but because they wanted a fling,”

  
  


“Ew,” Anakin says, “If I ever were to meet them, I would love to pummel them -”

_“Ani!”_ Padmé looks chastised.

“But you did admit, I was not good with words,” Anakin replies, looking at her dreamily.

“Honestly, Ani, you are perfect the way you are. Whether you can flirt or not,” Padmé says, kissing him softly.

  
  


“I love you to stars and back, moonlight,” Anakin whispers solemnly.

“I love you too, sunshine,” Padmé mumbles back and kisses him as a finality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comments. thank you. it encourages me.


	6. leaving you in this mess of the war but i still love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! another chapter! thank you for all the comments and kudos. hopefully, y'all will enjoy this chapter :)

The _Outer-Rim_ _Sieges_ begins with a series of small requests for help from systems of the Outer-Rim. It slowly begins to snowball bigger and bigger as the Separatists prove themselves a formidable opponent. The march of the battle droids and clones can now be heard overwhelming the Outer-Rim as the Separatists scramble to form colonies and begin to harvest the rich and precious resources which were once ignored and the planets were looked down upon as the lower class. The Senate, in itself, houses a brand new war in the waning days of the Republic. For distinguished representatives and Senators fight with renewed fury and strength and overshadow all the voices - they are merely making noise but take no action. Protestors fill the streets as they are finally tired of all the fighting and the suffering spreads to Coruscant. A significant number of the population begin to boycott new policies enacted and enforced by the coruscanti police force; angry red letters painted in thick brown flimsies as they hold up signs and chant for hours until their voices get hoarse and tired. However, they still find the energy to continue imposing their wills, millions of angry voices scream themselves rough and drained. The robots of the police force are merely dismantled into nothing but metal scrap and graffitied over by the average citizenry. They are growing tired of the war, they are tired of all the suffering. However, it becomes obvious to see that many are taking an _anti-war_ , _anti-Jedi,_ and _anti-clone_ stance. Jedi and Clones have become the scapegoats for all the brimming ire that has been repressed for too long.

The Jedi Order begins to show cracks as they are breaking under the stress of all the sentiments of the public whilst being front line commanders and generals. People whom they had deemed trustworthy begin to turn. Pong Krell has finally broken the leash he had been put before the war and begins to mistreat and demean clones, Barriss Offee grows disenchanted and see the Jedi as a symbol of what is wrong with the world and bombs the whole hangar with Jedi and Clones - so many lives are lost that fateful day - and the Chosen One’s padawan has become the scapegoat. When she is revealed to be innocent, she leaves the Order now also disenchanted by them. Clones are bred to die for the Republic and they have no choice in that matter - they are the property of the Republic - it is slavery right under their noses. Corruption’s disguise wears thin nevertheless, no one has doubted a single thing yet. 

Avian is lying if he were to say that he did not miss Ahsoka. The last words of the girl were uttered to his brother as she disappeared through the great alabaster stone structure that spirals onto the top. The good-natured snark and sarcasm that livens up the world of drab and grey disappear along with the girl as if she has taken away all the color of the world. Anakin changes. It is not very stark or sudden; it is a gradual change. In which a heavy undertone colors his every sentence as he acts grimmer and less cocky than he has during the start of the war. Some would say that he is finally maturing, finally becoming the man he is expected to be. However, Avian knows better. Some nights he would see Anakin hunched over the table with Ahsoka’s lightsabers lying flat on the wooden panel, other days he sees him in the training salles and Avian expectantly looks for the girl who would be right behind his tracks as Anakin brags about his latest victory. Anakin seems a lot more likely to act on his ire, he is a lot more likely to push himself to his breaking point and tries to finish missions even when he’s injured. There are a number of times he sees Anakin being carried away onto a hover stretcher by his troopers after yet another collapse or seizure. At first, he tells him that this is just a part of war until it happens so often till the point that Avian starts to worry. Anakin is naturally reckless but he is a lot more reckless without Ahsoka around. Avian wonders if Ahsoka is the only reason Anakin restrains himself.

  
  


Avian watches Anakin walk out of the war room, he notices a watercolor of bruises on his left cheek and dark circles under his eyes highlighting the lack of sleep from spending the past few weeks on the battle and formulating plans. Avian holds him by the shoulder and gets the attention of the Knight. Avian gets a good look at him as he looks so small and so tired; he remembers the times when people have asked if this really is the famed  _ Hero With No Fear _ . Avian fondly remembers the times in which three Jedi Masters had to come to confirm that this indeed was Anakin Skywalker and that not some baby-faced young man who decided to impersonate him for a very important summit on Alderaan. 

“Hey, how’re you holding up?” Avian asks, getting the attention of the younger man.

Anakin crosses his arms, shifting his weight onto his left foot and winces if he ever distributes his weight to the other - Avian really hopes that he is on his way to the medic - his brother’s hair is matted down by water from the quick shower they had had before the debrief.

“M’fine,” Anakin grumbles with a pout, looking like an angry tooka, “Just ‘bout to get some rest and maybe, start on the mission reports,”

  
  


“Ani,” Avian begins, about to address the elephant in the room that is the departure of Ahsoka, “ I know it is hard for you right now that Ahsoka left. And, believe it or not, it is hard for me too. But, you need to learn how to let go sometimes. People come and go. And, I don’t think Ahsoka would like you looking like this -”

  
  


“Did Obi-Wan put you up to this or something? Like a last resort for not listening to him,” Anakin begins scathingly, “Tell him it is not working,”

  
  


Avian looks hurt, “Ani, I am just trying to help-”

  
  


Anakin storms in a whirlwind before he can finish his sentence.

***

Avian tries again in the medbay of the Resolute as Kix bandages Anakin’s swollen ankle. This time Anakin cannot blow him off like he did the last time. The blinding white light shines on the sterile force, the metal sheens under the intensity. It feels as if the illusion of time has been wiped out as he watches the medics bustling here and there, catering to the needs of the injured. In that particular battle, there has been a high casualty rate. The Separatist forces have proven themselves strong with its ruthless strategies and the onslaught of battle droids as red lasers threaten to make its marks on white plastoid armors. The sudden change is a welcome respite from the smell of singed flesh, armor and smoke that envelopes the battlefield as they fight fiercely in an attempt to get the upper hand in the war. Anakin sits in one of the empty beds, his feet propped up on a small but conspicuously red cushion that he remembers seeing in Obi-Wan’s lounge.

  
  
  


“So, now, can we talk?” Avian asks, his tone even and neutral.

  
  
  
  


Anakin pretends not to see him as he glues his face onto the datapad in his hand and tries to desperately bury himself in work so that they can avoid having the inevitable conversation. Avian realizes that he is the one that needs to be mature here. Exhaling sharply, he clears his throat a little louder as Anakin flicks his gaze towards him, his expression remains steady and his grip slackens on the datapad. 

  
  
  


“What? I’m busy,” Anakin replies, his voice sounding more tired than snappish. 

  
  
  


Avian clicks his tongue, feeling satisfied that he has gotten his brother’s attention. Anakin’s forehead creases in confusion, his datapad dangling freely from his grip and he holds it precariously with only a few fingers. 

“We need to talk about your attachments and Ahsoka,” Avian declares, a sudden rush of confidence crosses his countenance, “ Well, Ani, I guess it is time we talked. And, hopefully, you find some clarity out of it,”

  
  
  


“I’m pretty sure, Obi-Wan put you up to this and I rather prefer you tell him that I am not interested-,” Anakin remarks, only to be cut off immediately.

  
  


“I’m afraid you are wrong,” Avian says, “This is an inevitable conversation, Ani. It is bound to happen sooner or later. You love freely. You care a lot. You get easily attached. There is nothing to be ashamed about. However, it is the way you deal with it that differentiates you and the bad people. I guess Master Yoda must’ve preached to not mourn but mourning for your loss is a natural process. Take some time but you can’t keep wallowing yourself in hurt, pain and anger. You can’t blame yourself for others’ actions. You can’t save everyone. You can’t help everyone. People come and go. It’s natural but people whom you touch - they will still love you. Even after you leave, Ani, they’ll love you,”

  
  


Anakin remains silent, deep in thought. Avian takes that as a sign to continue.

  
  
  


“Ahsoka would not want you to be like this, in fact, Ahsoka would hate this. She doesn’t want to see you wallowing in  _ self-pity _ . We all want the best for you, Ani. You need to look around a bit more. You need to stop focusing on your internal pains and problems and look forward. Anakin, you are a brave, compassionate young man. And, I don’t want you to see you turn into something twisted or bad. Sometimes, you have to prepare for the fact that sometimes, circumstances will tear you apart. It is alright to try and save your loved ones, Ani, but make sure you don’t hurt others in the process. Because, they also have attachments like you. Their friends and family will experience the same pain you do. You don’t want that right?”

  
  


Anakin nods slowly.

  
  
  


“Promise me, Ani, _ one thing, _ that you will always do the right thing, that you won’t tear this world and yourself down, saving your loved ones,”

  
  


“Alright,” Anakin says, “I  _ promise _ ,”

  
  


Avian studies Anakin’s expression as he watches the latter let the promise sink in.

***

  
  


Rex leads the Torrent Company through the overcast forest, the white fog is strangely ominous with only the sound of small creatures and the crackle of leaves beneath their boots to accompany them. The foliage is dark and dense and spirals over their head, blocking what little light that the moon above their head provides. There is the steady chatter of crickets native to the planet and a rare bird that twitters. Despite the occasional life, the forest feels austere and damp. The leaves crunch under the boots as they hold their guns at ready in case of an attack, the shredded leaves are dimly stained by the beacon of light from General Skywalker’s lightsaber. A few trees are wreathed with parasitic plants as their barks are damp and cold to touch, the biting chill caresses against their faces and the exposed part of their necks. The only comforting sound is the steady breathing of his men that convinces him that they are still alive.

  
  


It is another one of the missions in which they are supposed to get intel from before General Kenobi’s launching an attack on the Separatists Forces that occupy Eriadu. The Separatists have built a secret base that serves as a bunk for them to retreat and contains new extra weapons for their use. This planet happens to be the nearest to Eriadu and may pose a threat to the next stage of a Republic’s plan to seize the Outer Rim. They finally reach the mouth of the dense foliage of overgrown trees as moonlight filters through the opening casting pools of light onto the dirt and leaf-covered floors and staining the leaves near the opening. Rex quickly does a headcount of the men before reporting it to the General as they begin to continue their hike through the seemingly endless clusters of greenery sprouting from the dirt.

  
  


“This way,” Rex hears Anakin and parrots the instruction louder to the troops at the back. With a renewed sense of vigor and hope, they hike out of the forest into the open as moonlight illuminates the barren land with a series of rock structures lining the pathway with small patches of green grass speckling the expanse of soil. The dew glistens and sheen under the gentle touch of light, a nightly breeze creates a shiver in their spine. Rex looks at the holo map, the blue glow staining his tawny skin, his brown eyes taking in the information presented to him and point to a cavern and alerts Anakin as the base.

Anakin nods without a word as he stands in front of his troops and leads them forward into the cavern. The base is a series of interconnected ghetto systems with technology infused into the rough surfaces; in some ways, he is reminded of Tatooine as he is sourly reminded of Watto asking him to assemble machines into the shop such as coolants. Anakin pushes away his thoughts to focus on the mission on hand; the technology is notably advanced compared to Tatooine. Most of them are turned off to avoid leaving a trace on the holonet which would allow the Republic to easily find them. The ceiling is low, the tip of their helmet brushing lightly against the dusty rocks over them. 

“My brother’s troops will meet us at the rendezvous at the middle part of this place,” Anakin explains to Rex, “ The seppies are too busy with their occupation on Eriadu so as long as we don’t flip anything here, we’ll be safe,”

  
  
  


“Yes, sir,” Rex says crisply as they continue to march, the footfall of the soldiers accompanying the chill silence.

***

Avian’s clipped coruscanti accent disturbs the steady rhythm of footfall. He and his brother have been constantly made fun of for their Outer Rim accents when they entered the Jedi Temple, the initiates often whispered cruel jokes and rumors. There were even some who called them  _ slaves _ ,  _ Hutt’s goons  _ and countless other insults. Although they are not as bad as what they had endured in Tatooine, it had never made their hurt go away. While Anakin spoke less and less around initiates and padawans, Avian began to change his accent and tried to mimic the accent. He was rather ashamed of his heritage in some ways, feeling nothing but hatred and anger over it whenever someone brought it up. To this day, he had to admit, he was ashamed that he came from the Outer Rim no matter the reassurances from those around him.

  
  
  


“Commander Draft, any closer to the rendezvous?” Avian asks.

  
  
  


The clone, a man with his hair dyed neon yellow, perks up from the datapad he is holding and nods his head, “Half a klick away, sir,”

His green lightsaber stains his beige tunic as he makes sure his head does not hit against the wall. He has painfully bumped his head thrice while navigating through this path. He strains his ears to listen to any other sign of footsteps from a different group and stretches out to feel the  _ supernova  _ in the  _ Force  _ that is his brother. He can feel his Force signature approaching the rendezvous. Upon reaching, he notices that some of the view screens are turned on; its dim blue lights casting lights onto the ceiling and the rocky walls. Something about the place feels inhabited and warm as if it is only recently that someone has been here. A large swivel chair sits in front of the dirt desk with a dent on it as if someone has been sitting. Avian raises his eyebrows as he hears footsteps and sees a familiar blue lightsaber gripped with a gloved hand and a strand of blonde hair peeks from behind.

  
  


“Anakin,” he calls out, waving his arms to get his attention. He watches the royal blue markings the  _ 501st  _ troopers mixes with the olive markings of his own troopers. Rex begins to mingle with Draft as they briefly exchange standard greetings and short inquiry about each other's well-being. Anakin does not seem to mind as he focuses on squeezing through the gaps to him.

  
  


It is then that they hear footsteps from a third party and a chill runs down his spine. Avian activates his lightsaber with a snap-hiss. Anakin does the same as a squadron of B1 battle droids with rifles in their grip. Blaster bolts begin to taint the crisp cold air as Anakin and Avian quickly slice down the droid with such ease that one would think that they are merely cheese. The smell of molten metal reaches their nostrils; Avian wrinkles his nose in distaste and extinguishes his lightsaber almost immediately. Anakin leans over the desk, easily bypassing the security and begins to modify a few things so that no one would pick up on their incursion. He types in a few things to reach into a file and begins to download a few of the important data into a chip when a new wave of battle droids begin marching into the room and shakes the ground to their core. Blue and red bolts tears through the sky, the blaster shot resounds through the cavern and echoes like no tomorrow. They ricochet off his blue blade as Anakin ignites his own as he slices down the droids that come even an inch near the control panel. The dust from the cavern balloons and slightly obscures their vision, setting off an explosive right now might as well be a bad idea. 

  
  


Once finishing the download, Anakin secures the data chip into a pocket of his belt. They fight their way through the resistance the droids posed, slicing them like butter as they fall to the floor in a resounding clang. Avian calls in the transport to fetch them back to the flagship of the 311th, the  _ Liberty _ . That is not before they blow up the whole place as they leave the planet on the _ LAAT/i _ ships.

***

“My congratulations to both the Skywalkers for yet another successful mission,” Mace Windu’s blue hologram flickers, he remains stern-faced despite the compliment he has dished out, “General Kenobi’s battalion will be sent to Eriadu, you shall drop the information over to Kenobi once you, both meet with him,”

  
  


“Yes, Master,” Anakin and Avian say simultaneously.

  
  


“The next stage in the siege in the Sesweena Sector shall involve all three of you. The intel will prove incredibly helpful in finding the weakness of their new weapon that they will be using in this battle. Do take sufficient rest before the battle which will proceed in three days. May the Force be with you,” Mace Windu finishes, his gaze softening a bit.

  
  


Anakin and Avian echo the sentiments as they notice a moment of softness from the Jedi Master before his hologram vanishes. Rex and Draft have left to change out of their armors into their blacks and probably take a nice shower while they are at it. Avian stretches his back and leaves the control room leaving the smooth run of the ship under the watch of the supervising Admiral. Avian walks through the sterile and patrolled hallways of the  _ Liberty  _ as the windows show the vast black expanse of space that makes him feel so small and so insignificant compared to the greater schemes of the world. Avian is rather glad that the casualties for this mission is quite a low number. Most of the injured have been put under the care of their medic, Chess, a genial-faced medic who can be stern when he wants to. They are expected to hand in a mission report by the end of their three days. They are not returning to Coruscant, instead directly entering hyperspace to Eriadu.

***

The lightsaber hums in his ears as Anakin easily defeats Avian as the latter faceplants flat against the chilling metal floor of the training room. Avian turns, as sparks of pain clouds his vision. He holds his nose, a thick stream of crimson trickling from his nose. Before Anakin can declare his victory, he notices Avian and quickly extinguishes his blade. Avian sits up as he pinches the bridge of his nose and lowers his neck as he stares blankly at the metal floor until the bleeding stops. It stops after a few minutes, earning a relieved sigh from the younger man. His hands still stained crimson and a pool of blood still remains on the floor as a reminder of his defeat. 

  
  


“I am so sorry,” Anakin mumbles profusely as Avian slowly opens his eyes.

“S’okay,” Avian replies thickly, “what other better death than in the hands of your little brother?”

  
  


Anakin looks visibly horrified for a moment, swatting at his face upon realizing that it is a joke. He frowns, “ Avian, what the kriff?”

  
  


“C’mon, tis just a joke,” Avian answers.

  
  


“Fine, fine,” Anakin grunts, shaking his head and hauls Avian up, “C’mon, we gotta go to bed before Kix or Chess gets our heads,”

Avian snorts, “Dramatic,”

  
  


Anakin scowls in reply, “ _ Sleemo _ ,”

  
  


“Aw, I love you too,” Avian jokes.

***

Darth Sidious prides himself on his ability to remain hidden right under the nose of the Jedi. They are so overwhelmed in their pain, arrogance and hypocrisy, they don’t even realize that he is the Sith Lord. Their judgment is clouded due to their fear and pain, their trauma echoing through the walls and clouding the Force. The Jedi Temple is an endless fountain of negative emotions, echoing and ricocheting within the walls. They do not have the resources for proper trauma management; they preach their code, doubling down on their tradition and fate. What they do not realize is that they may not exist soon to practice their dogmatic beliefs; their precious code is not going to help them anymore for all that is left for them is endless pain and suffering. They will soon be eradicated from the face of the galaxy with his rightful apprentices by his side and rule the galaxy with an iron fist. Their beliefs will be soon torn apart as they fade into nothing but a distant myth that parents will use as hopeful tales for their children’s bedtime stories. They will become nothing more of a story to tell than real heroes or ever lauded by the public. They will become fictional, mythical and soon he will crush the dreamy romantic view and their eradication will be complete. He will amass the Force Sensitives as his acolytes. His  _ slaves _ ; only his to use. The Jedi will be nothing more than a minor inconvenience soon as they will soon come to fruition and his dreams will come to reality. 

He likes to believe he wears the identity of Palpatine, a kindly Chancellor, like a perfectly tailored suit. Every Senator falls under his false promises and grandfatherly child. If he were not a Sith, he likes to think that he would make an extremely great actor. Palpatine is nothing but a farce to fool all the lowly inhabitants of the galaxy. They are so easily fooled; he expected it to be a little harder than what he has to deal with. All he has to do is wear expensive garbs and smile, the public swoons over him - he got them wrapped in his finger - all his paperwork is handed off the clone -  _ Fox, was it? _ \- he barely lifts a finger and this war is merely an opera for him. He plots and he watches the two sides execute it with ease. They fall to his lies so easily. All he has to do is just look pretty and smile; he frankly expected the job to be easier. The Jedi are so warped in their own reality that they fail to notice anything; they wallow themselves deeper into their beliefs and ignore the reality of the situation. They are stagnated and the little troll does not even do anything for them to move. They are like sitting ducks and all he has to do is give one order and the troops that they have invested so much trust will shoot them down without a thought. Their lives will be extinguished without even a single thought spared for them - _ oh, how dumb will they get?  _ \- The Republic victory is merely precedes something bigger, greater and more magnificent. _ The Empire. _

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments and kudos! it is a big motivation as i write this.


	7. anger is just a feeling, you're weary and tired of it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter whoo hoo! this is about 5k long so as to make us for one of the 3k chapter. hopefully, ya'll will enjoy! please kudos and comment - it encourages me!

The binary suns blaze like two humongous fireballs, their rays hit the ground as the tiny particles of sand gleam and the mud-patted pavements crack under the intense heat. Anakin and Avian are expected to bear the stinging sand with nothing but a flimsy pair of greyed beaten shoes. Avian knows that Gardulla the Hutt is not a kind master; she is a cruel, harsh and unforgiving master who works all those under her until their death. The slaves are the most vulnerable to her rule as a flip of a switch could blow them into bits and pieces. Avian, although just turned six, has seen this happen twice. The first one is a freshly-caught one, scrambling for his freedom and someone who just had his chip implanted a few days ago. Gardulla did not hesitate as she flipped her switch and his mother covered his eyes and the slave grandmother ushered the children away into the little safety provided by the Quarters. However, Avian had gotten the glimpse of blood and heard the unholy screeches of pain and that alone burns into his memory and haunted him until today. The second one is a child, who had merely turned seven just a few days ago, even children were not granted mercy, and that, alone, scared Avian into submission. 

There is a sudden shout that brings Avian’s attention to the barb-wire fence that surrounds them to ensure that they would not escape. It is a woman, in her  _ early to mid-twenties _ , her dark hair covers her tanned face as her vivid brown eyes betray her fear. She must be freshly caught, Avian notes, as he watched the slave grandmother coax her out of trying to climb lest one of Gardulla’s guards might activate her chip. All slaves have chips implanted - Avian’s one is somewhere below his neck and lodged between his collar bone. - usually, they are done with anesthetics that do not fully cover the pain and leave someone in lots of pain for the next few days and Anakin’s one is somewhere near the bottom part of his back, a few inches away from his spine. Avian has heard enough stories to know how this ends. Anakin’s eyes are unfocused as he comes to the grim conclusion of the inevitable, watching the woman screech and scream in fear and anguish that echoes in their brain and burns into their memories like how pleasure slaves get branded - hot metal touching their skin leaving a painful and red mark as a harsh reminder of their shameful past. The guards come upon hearing the commotion as Avian notices them taking out the controls. A surge of protectiveness courses through him as he slaps his fingers over Anakin’s eyes like his mother does and closes his eyes tightly. He feels the warm touch and the comforting voice that leads them back into the quarters. Anakin looks visibly shaken and frankly, Avian is too.

  
  


The end of the day comes sooner than they expected as both of them lay on the floor; their mother is not back yet. She has some extra work to do that night; Avian feels a surge of fear from Anakin and a tint of anger. 

The next request catches Avian in surprise, “Avi, m’scared… that won’t happen to Mom, right?”

  
  


His voice is soft and meek as his unnaturally bright blue eyes peers from beneath the ragged blanket scavenged from a rough sack. His mother has always told them that both of them are special but some children found their mannerisms rather unnerving. Anakin could build and fix things before the age of two, Avian is able to heal even the most ill slaves although it is unintentional. They are unnatural and Avian knows that. However, Anakin’s blinking brings him back to the question at hand. A small part of Avian wants to say ‘no’ but nothing is a guarantee when you are a slave. They might be separated and shipped off tomorrow, something might happen tomorrow that kills one of them. No one ever knows. Avian tries to form a coherent thought in his brain that would be both comforting and at the same time, the truth.

  
  


“I can’t say whether that won’t happen to mom, Ani,” He admits, his face solemn, “B-but, I’ll always protect you, no matter what. I’m here for you,”

“Promise?” Anakin asks, sticking out his finger the way Kitster does when they make a deal. 

  
  


Avian extends his pinky finger and they loop and brush against each other’s fingers. He says, “ _ Promise _ ,”

  
  


***

His nightwear clings onto his chest from the sweat-drenched in by his shirt, he wretches and feels the bile burn his throat in a satisfying way. Dark bags under his eyes look like bruises, the war is getting to him. Nightmares are becoming more frequent and constant vigilance has been ingrained into his soul and burned into his mind. He sighs, running his fingers through his dark locks and stares blankly at the mirror. Nausea still clings to him like unshed skin and he feels strangely exposed, his head pounds as he swallows the painkillers dry and lays back on bed. His breathing evens out and his heart no longer beats on his chest as if it is staging an escape. 

  
  


A small voice tells him that this is a vision; it warns him of fear, betrayal and loss. Visions are more of Anakin’s thing, he muses to himself. He remembers the vivid images as if it is just happening before him right now. A confrontation on a planet and he sees something hurting his brother; they are taking him away from him. The last thing he wakes up to is his brother’s face etched with fear. He needs to do something. He can and he will. He made a promise a long time ago and he is not going to let that down like he had to his mother.

***

His lightsaber hums to life, the wind whips through his hair as the adrenaline pumps through him with no end. The exhilaration of something quick and unexpected fuels him as the wind whistles in his ears and his lightsaber thrums with raw, unrestricted power. The Force sings and soars as the smell of plastoid armors and singed metal and flesh infiltrates through his nostrils. He continues to press his attack, his green blade melts through the clankers as they fall to the ground with a clank that reverberates dully through the metal floors. He feels right in his element as if this is what he’s meant to be and do. The Force grows and engulfs him with so much energy that he has never felt so awake before. Anakin follows behind, flourishing his lightsaber and cuts down a couple of droids with nothing but a swift slice. The molten metal clatter to the floor, it’s edge red hot and gleams before it fades into coal black. Anakin does not seem to follow many tracks as he attacks in short bursts of energy and recovers almost immediately.

They’ve been battling in here for hours now, Avian realizes, adrenaline feels like a warm liquid, refreshing and energizing him. His blade whirs with every moment and reflects the stream of red laser that slowly slows to a trickle. Anakin twirls and takes down two more as Avian uses the force to push away several clankers to which Anakin easily takes them down and are left as nothing but scrap metal. He solders the barrel of the clanker’s gun shut with a swift strike of his green blade; the droid makes its displeasure known. Anakin reflects a few of the beams that come towards him and redirect it to the droid as it collapses backward - they are notoriously poor quality, he notes to himself - the hallway is filled with nothing but broken bodies and singed metal. 

  
  


His dark locks sheen under the harsh lighting as he strides towards the doors. Anakin sinks in his blade and Avian follows; they draw a circle as the metal melts. With the combined power of the Force, they push the thick metal as it falls backward with a resounding clang. They retrieve their sabers as they jump their way through. The small room is in a state of disarray with holodisks and pads that cover the ground; the room is lit dimly by the buttons that glow in the dark. Anakin inhales sharply as he ignites his lightsaber to get a better look of the dark room to find the Commander. Anakin sees the Commander and grabs hold of him by his arm before he scrambles away and forces-pushes him onto a chair. His beady eyes plead with them as he pales considerably before them. 

  
  


Anakin hears footfall and a steady trickle of droids begin to march into the control room, Anakin ignites his blue blade and begins to defend himself. With newfound courage, the commander reaches out for a small rifle but Avian sees it beforehand and cuts the blaster’s barrel, leaving every press of the trigger futile. His bravery vanishes as quickly as it appears as his sandy hair appears ruffled. The man falls to his knees, his watery eyes pleading with him for mercy and yet, something in him whispers ‘no’. The Force feels ravenous, beckons and eggs him to take the strike. He knows it’s wrong but his anger sings a siren’s song. He swings his blade to meet with his neck as a sudden splash of red stains the floor and he falls, headless, to the ground. Anakin turns to gawk, his ocean blue eyes betray a torrent of emotions from _ shock, betrayal, disappointment  _ \- he just stares for a moment blankly. 

  
  


Anakin averts his gaze as Avian looks at him, focusing on the droids. Success feels intoxicating, addicting - sweet and delicious - he craves it more and more until he catches a glimpse of Anakin’s face. Animosity radiates from him as he can feel his feelings of betrayal and shock although it is left unspoken. Guilt blocks his throat which makes victory’s inebriating touch null and pointless. They mow their way through the layers of droids, not exchanging even a single word. They meet Obi-Wan at the capital but anger still simmers through the younger man although he doesn’t dare to say a word.

Remorse threatens to overwhelm him as it engulfs his body like a poison. Success is sweet but the look on Anakin’s face horrifies him. 

Avian knows what he has done has not only breached Anakin’s trust but makes his brother question his own loyalty. Avian has always reminded him that killing an unarmed man is not the Jedi way back at the _ Tusken Camp _ . He remembers Anakin beginning to shake and sob into his shoulder as he strokes tiny strands of golden locks away from his face and he rubs reassuring circles on his back. When returned to the Lars farmstead, Anakin has taken to staying in the garage fixing whatever needs to be fixed. The only time he sees him out is near their mother’s grave and sprinkles grains of sand while mumbling an ancient prayer to the _ Krayt Dragons  _ for a prosperous afterlife. Avian shakes himself out of his musings and looks at his brother. He does not mutter a word and keeps it quiet.

  
  


Nevertheless, Obi-Wan gets the news through Republic intel and when asked, Anakin leaves without uttering a word.

  
  


A day later, everything fades back to normal, nevertheless, the guilt does not leave him. 

***

“Hello, Master. It’s been a while,” 

  
  


The greeting catches Anakin off-guard. The young man gapes as his face lights up as if all the color of the world has been returned. The blue hologram that has greeted them stands with an almost neutral expression.

“A-Ahsoka?” Anakin stammers, his ocean blue eyes glow with nothing but compassion and warmth for the girl. Within one year, Ahsoka has matured. Her lekkus have grown longer and her features have lost all the baby fat and have become sharper. There is this sort of maturity in her eyes as if the past eight months she had left have completely repainted her views on life as she looks at them. Her crimson lips hold the barest hint of a smile as she expectantly waits for a reply. Next to her is another familiar face, Duchess Satine Kryze’s estranged sister. Her auburn hair hacked right below her ears as her steely eyes stare back at the three men standing before her, she wears her armor with nothing but pride and admiration for her culture as her helmet is tucked beneath her arm. 

While Avian is able to keep a reasonable level of distance, Anakin seems to be literally choking on his words as strange sounds are forced out of his throat.

“I don't believe it! How are you? Where are you?  _ A-are you okay _ ?” Anakin begins, the initial shock lost in the test of time. Anakin beams as his eyes meet with the girl; Avian puts on a smile of his own and expects a reply.

“I’m alright. Thank you for asking,” Ahsoka’s reply is strangely formal but Anakin does not seem bothered by it. He wears a large smile, his  _ Force  _ signature radiating with love and admiration. Avian crosses his arms, Obi-Wan looks cautiously optimistic.

“Any particular reason for you holocalling us?” Avian asks, shifting his gaze to look expectantly at the blue holograms.

“Yes, I have urgent news for you,” Ahsoka says, keeping a cool demeanour.

“What is it, Ahsoka?” Obi-Wan asks, stroking his beard.

“Lady Bo-Katan and I have located the renegade Sith Lord, Maul,” Ahsoka declares.

“And, if we move swiftly, we believe we can capture him,” Bo-Katan adds, her expression darkens: her hair bounces as she switches her gaze to meet with the thoughtful blue-grey orbs of Obi-Wan.

“It all makes sense, now,” Anakin says suddenly, earning collective glares from those beside him, “ If Ahsoka hadn’t left the order, then she would not have been where she needed to be,”

“It’s one way to look at it, I supposed,” Obi-Wan keeps a carefully straight face, shaking his head slightly as his copper strands sheen under the dim lighting of the room. Anakin, however, does not seem deterred as his face remains thoughtful.

“It’s the only way to look at it,” Anakin says after a while, “-we’re finally going to capture Maul. I expected more of a reaction from you, considering…”, Anakin trails off upon getting a warning look from Avian.

“I’m cautiously optimistic,” Obi-Wan humors Anakin, casting a sideways glance to Avian standing on the other side. 

***

Anakin’s excitement is not well-hidden, his face easily betrays his joy as his eyes playfully gleam upon laying eyes on the girl. He babbles on about how it has been without her and how much he misses her. The way his face lights up whenever Ahsoka replies to his question and the bounce in his every step. It feels as if they are at the beginning of the war again when things are much simpler and easier to understand- when they are yet to be tainted by the horrors, doe-eyed, naive and innocent - however, Ahsoka tells her different story. With her strangely cautious replies and her off-putting body language, the girl feels out of place as she wears a forced smile. Ahsoka, nevertheless, finds some familiarity in the clean, sterile metal walls that gleams under the white lighting of the overhead lamps. Clones passing by saluting and addressing her as if she has not even left the order. A small part of her is glad that the clones are not affected by the circumstances of her leave from the Jedi Order. Nevertheless, the most part of her screams at how wrong it is, she has left them so what right does she have to receive respect from them.

“They shouldn’t salute me,” Ahsoka pauses, her eyes downcast as cracks of her grief begins to leak into her countenance, “Not after I left the Order,”

“It does not matter to them,” Anakin cuts her off - his voice gentle yet firm just like he has been when instructing her - her mind supplies, “It’s a sign of respect. They know what you went through for them, day after day, battle after battle. Loyalty means everything to them,”

A wave of guilt slaps her for leaving them, she does not deserve this. Her throat is blocked by a lump that threatens to make her cry. The durasteel doors slide to reveal Rex, standing with a whole company that stands before her.

“Company! Attention!” Rex’s clipped voice shakes her out of her momentary stupor as she pushes her feelings away. The sound of footfall sends chills down her spine as she looks at the helmets which proudly displayed navy blue is painted red with her markings on it. A warm feeling bubbles in her chest and threatens to overthrow her as she sees all the helmets, a small smile crawls onto her face. Her lips quirk up as she could feel them beaming from under their helmets, their Force signatures are all united as one. It could be overwhelming if it is not for a fact that she has a primary shield that helps to lighten the blow. Her heart softens, goes out to them, for them - they care so much and they get nothing in return - oh, she loves them so much. Rex’s lips quirked up as a sense of familiarity washes down her.

“Go ahead, they’ve been waiting for you,” Anakin encourages, a ghost of a smile dances over his gentle features. She walks through the door, closer to Rex. Anakin follows like an infinite fountain of support. 

“As soon as Rex and the guys found out you were back, they got to work,” Anakin explains, still smiling and gestures to particularly nothing.

“The paint job’s a bit crude, but it gets the idea across,” Rex adds, “Glad to have you back, Commander,”

“But, you don’t have to call me Commander anymore,” Ahsoka says uncertainly; doubt poisons her brief happiness.

“Sure thing,” Rex replies, and as an afterthought adds, “ _ Commander _ ,”

Ahsoka looks surprised. Rex only smiles.

“Oh and, I have  _ one  _ more surprise for you,” Anakin says, his vivid blue eyes light up.

***

He sprints throughout the hallways, his boots thrumming a steady rhythm against the durasteel floors. Obi-Wan follows as they walk into the large room with Anakin, Ahsoka and the 332nd Company of the 501st. Urgency floods Avian’s senses upon the news, Chancellor Palpatine - his only confidant and father figure- has been kidnapped by the Separatist troops. Obi-Wan is about to chide him for showing more concern than necessary but refrains from doing so; Avian appreciates that. He is glad that Obi-Wan understands how much the Chancellor means to him and how helpful and kind he has to him even when there are times he is a handful and always willing to offer advice whenever he seeks it.

“Ani, Rex !” He yells, desperation clear in his features, “ Prepare your men,”

“We’re jumping to hyperspace immediately,” Obi-Wan says grimly, his lips pressed tightly.

“Yes, sir! Men with me!” Rex replies, his voice booming.

“So, the attack on Mandalore was approved,” Ahsoka raises her eyebrows, disbelief colors her tone as she looks at Obi-Wan in bewilderment. 

“No, it’s Coruscant. Grievous attacked the capitol,” Obi-Wan reveals, his tone even.

“And, the Chancellor?” Anakin asks, frowning as worry dances in his ocean blue orbs.

“Shaak-Ti has been sent to protect her but Master Windu lost contact. In the recent update, it’s been come to the conclusion that he was kidnapped,” Avian responds, his countenance twists into worry and shifts his weight. His throat bobs as he looks at Obi-Wan expectantly to reassure.

“Not to worry, we’ll be there within the hour,” Obi-Wan says.

“So, that’s it? You’re going to abandon Bo-Katan and her people?” Ahsoka begins to distastefully, her consternation displayed clearly on her features. She glares at the three of them as she expectantly waits for a reply.

“Ahsoka, you surely understand that this is a pivotal moment in the Clone Wars,” Obi-Wan attempts to salvage, “The heart of the Republic is under attack!”

“I understand that, as usual, you are playing politics,” Ahsoka says scathingly, crossing her arms, “ This is why the people have lost faith in the Jedi,”

“I had too until I was reminded of what the Order means to people who truly need us,” Ahsoka adds, a little softer than her first statement.

“Right now, the people on Coruscant need us,” Obi-Wan asserts.

“No, the Chancellor needs you,” Ahsoka retorts.

“That’s not fair,” Obi-Wan replies disapprovingly.

“I’m not trying to be,”

Anakin cuts their argument short, sensing the hostility between her former master and padawan, “ I’ll divide the 501st, make a new division under Ahsoka’s command,”

“No, Anakin, you can’t,” Avian shakes his head, “She’s no longer part of the  _ GAR _ ,”

“What he said,” Obi-Wan seconds.

“We have three Jedi going and we only need two Jedi for this mission especially since large numbers ain’t wanted for stealth missions. We can send Anakin and Ahsoka together with the 501st. Yes, I know the Republic isn’t allowed on Mandalore due to the treaty but if my memory serves correct, there is a clause that if something from Republic matters, that isn’t of the Republic’s fault, is in or intertwined with Mandalorian affairs - the Republic is allowed to intervene and vice versa,” Avian starts thoughtfully, “ So, we can send Ani and the troops to work out in Mandalore while you and I go rescue the Chancellor,”

“It’s plausible,” Obi-Wan strokes his coppery beard, “And yes, you are correct with the clause, Avian. Anakin, are you okay with this arrangement,”

“Yes, Master,” Anakin nods his head vigorously.

“Very well,” Obi-Wan bows.

“May the Force be with you,” Anakin returns, bowing.

As he is about to leave, his eyes begin to twinkle playfully, “ Oh, and one other thing - I killed Maul once. Best to capture him. He doesn’t seem to stay dead,”

Ahsoka turns to Avian and Anakin, “Thanks for the support, as always,”

“That’s what we are here for,” Avian says gently, placing his hand on her shoulder.

“Also, I got a little thing for you,” Anakin begins as he takes out a small box from under his cloak. Ahsoka accepts the box and opens it to see two lightsabers. She fingers it for a moment as she recognizes it as hers. _ Anakin has kept her lightsaber. He remembers her.  _ She presses a button and the lightsaber hisses to life. Two cyan blades appear in front of her - one shorter than the other- as she feels something so bright and cleansing from the crystals inside. 

“I took care of them,” Anakin says, the familiar cockiness mixes into his tone, “ They’re good as new, maybe, even better,”

Ahsoka rolls her eyes fondly.

“Isn’t that what you were doing a few weeks ago?” Avian teases, earning a sharp elbow from the younger man. Avian yelps in surprise and scowls. Ahsoka feels right in her element as she watches the two brothers tease each other good-naturedly just like before battles in the training salles and the playful banter during battles. They are two of the three people who are willing to believe her during her trial. They fought tooth and nail for her, Anakin went out to find Ventress to figure out the true culprit while Avian stood next to him throughout the whole of the trail. Words can never amount to the depth of the gratitude that flows through her heart whenever she sees them. She recalls her lightsaber kata and goes through the movements as the two men look at her with nostalgia, admiration and pride. 

“You, two, capture Maul,” Avian summarizes, “Obi-Wan and I will capture Grievous. Just make sure you, two, don’t wreck things too much. And, try not to get both of yourselves killed. And, I want you two to know that I am very incredibly proud of the man and woman you have become,”

“With any luck, this thing will be over soon,” Anakin whispers softly.

“Master Kenobi says there is no such thing as luck,” Ahsoka says.

“If that were the case, we all wouldn’t be here together,” Avian trails off, “And, we both taught you otherwise -”

“Avi?” Anakin calls out.

“Yeah?” Avian asks.

“I love you,”

“Me too, Ani, me too,”

*** 

The dim blue lighting illuminates their faces, Obi-Wan and Avian lean against the holotable. The machines whir as the viewscreen shows the vast screen of black with tiny white dots sprinkled generously across the endless sea of darkness. 

“Avian, we need to talk,” Obi-Wan says, his blue-grey orbs meeting with Avian’s cerulean ones.

“Yes?” Avian asks, feeling oddly defensive.

“In recent times, you do know that the Chancellor has been staying in the office way longer than he is supposed to,” Obi-Wan begins cautiously - his calmness is akin to something before a storm - his tone even and does not betray even the smallest inflection. Avian freezes as a wave of anger threaten to consume his mind, he grips the edge of the table tighter as he glowers ever so slightly.

“The Chancellor is the only thing that keeps the Republic from crumbling,” Avian grits out, his tone dangerously soft and suspicious. Obi-Wan’s coppery hair sheens under the dim blue lighting, his fingers stroking his beard. 

“Yes, that’s true,” Obi-Wan concedes, Avian feels triumphant but it is only short-lived, “ But, his circumstances have always been suspicious. It’s been three years since his term ended and he continues to amass power. He has been our Chancellor for more than thirteen years; his term is over. There have been whispers that the Senate is under the influence of the Sith Lord and-,”

“Are you trying to tell me that Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord?” Avian explodes, earning a wince from his former master. His knuckles turn white from gripping the edge of the holotable, his dark curls gleam menacingly under the lighting as long shadows are cast over his face. Obi-Wan steps back, his eyebrows furrowing; his features betray surprise. Avian is never the one to let loose his emotions like this - he often likens this behaviour to Anakin - his blue-grey eyes study the young man before him intently.

“Avian, you must understand-” Obi-Wan attempts to speak once more.

“No, Obi-Wan,” Avian says scathingly, he simmers under as his anger feels like hot coals upon hearing the unfair accusation against the man. His breathing is even for the most part as he feels heat rushing to his face. Avian pauses for a moment as he tries to collect his words but the formation of a coherent sentence evades him. He grunts under as he averts his gaze to focus on the side of Obi-Wan’s beard - the edges of it begin to grey from both age and stress. Avian tries to calm himself down and anger threatens to overtake his senses. It is intoxicating, Avian notes, it always has been. He inhales sharply, the silence of the room begins to ring in his eyes as the blue of the holotable casts pools of light over his face.

Obi-Wan gazes deeply into him, “Avian, surely, you must see reason. It is suspicious. You must be careful around him - his liking for you makes me particularly unsettled. Especially in recent times, he sees you more than what is considered normal,”

“I know,” Avian snaps, exhaling sharply. 

“And, at first the changes at the start of the war, are becoming more drastic,” Obi-Wan begins.

“If Anakin does the exact same thing, you praise him. If I do it, I get scolded,” Avian retorts, his gaze not meeting with Obi-Wan’s.

“Oh, beheading a sentient Separatist Commander is totally normal and okay,” Obi-Wan says, sarcasm dripping, “There are limits and sometimes, how you handle the war, it scares me,”

Avian remembers it clearly; his anger makes him feel so focused no matter how wrong it feels. Every swing of his lightsaber makes the Force soar and ravenous and the fight gives him adrenaline - it makes him excited as his heart races - he feels right in his element. Adrenaline courses through as he sees the commander before him, he pleads and begs for mercy. His fingers clasped as he shakes it as a show of weakness and he drops down to his feet. It makes him feel strangely powerful to see all those who have caused so much pain in the galaxy to experience the same pain. He swings his lightsaber and it meets the commander’s neck. The man’s body crumples as he turns himself away from the sight. The guilt does not overwhelm him until he sees Anakin.

“Well, it is necessary for the mission,” Bitterness colors his tone as he puffs out his cheeks in indignation, his blue eyes flash warningly so as to indirectly tell Obi-Wan to stop.

“No,” Obi-Wan continues to pursue the argument, “No, it was not,”

Obi-Wan hears something crack as he sees the edge of the panel split. Avian storms out without the word as the communicator in Avian’s grip is crushed into smithereens, the door behind slides with a loud slam as the older man winces at the sudden increase in volume. Silence follows as he allows himself to collect his composure before starting another briefing.

***

“General, we got a transmission from Prime Minister Almec,” The scratchy voice of the clone alerts Anakin, the dim lighting of the flagship casts long shadows as the blue of the lights illuminates their faces dully. Anakin strides towards the holotable, his forehead creases upon examining the signal. A blue hologram appears in front of them, it is a slender man reaching his middle age, his steely eyes bore holes into those surrounding the table. Anakin, however, is undeterred as he returns it with an equally hard look.

Almec clears his throat, his tone condescending,“ What is the meaning of this invasion? Republic presence here is a direct violation to our treaty,”

  
  


Bo-Katan’s countenance does not betray even a single drop of fear, her emerald eyes remain hard and determined. She slowly grits, “Your time has come, Almec. We know you are Maul’s puppet and we’re coming for him,”

Almec remains unflappable, he raises an eyebrow and replies, “ Mistress Bo-Katan, the traitor, I should have known you were behind this incursion. Siding with the Republic will make you an enemy in the people’s eyes,”

  
  


Anakin holds a neutral expression, trying his best to remember what Obi-Wan has taught him in negotiation. Anakin pays no heed to Bo-Katan’s antagonizing words, “According to one of the clauses in our treaty, if something that is wanted by the Republic and intertwined into the Republic’s affair that isn’t the Republic’s fault, the Republic is allowed to interfere. Maul is a wanted Sith Lord and is expected to be arrested into the custody of the Republic. He has much intel to answer some of our pressing questions,”

  
  


“My point still stands, General Skywalker,” His tone remains nonchalant as he holds his nose high that makes Anakin want to break his nose.

“I’m fine with being viewed as the enemy anyways,” Bo-Katan replies, her eyes narrowing as the hologram dissipates.

“You’re nothing like your sister,” comments Ahsoka, Bo-Katan’s gaze meets with the younger girls as she turns away without a reply.

“Careful, Snips,” Anakin whispers, “ - it’s a bit of a touchy topic right now,”

The LAAT/i gunships hurtle towards the atmosphere as the city of Sundari comes into view, showing the beautiful architecture of the city and cerulean skies and the porcelain clouds that drift across. The glass of the buildings gleams enticingly under the magnificent rays of sunlight - it looks so beautiful that it could take one’s breath away. Ahsoka watches Anakin and Rex arranging the troops to prepare for touchdown as they speak into their wrist comms to relay information through the troops. The doors open as the wind howls a melody into their ears and Anakin’s hair is pulled back, brushing against the back of his ears and neck. Smoke drifts through as the first wave of lasers begins to graze through the clear skies. Bo-Katan gazes down and presses a button of her wrist communicator.

“Ursa, can you confirm the target’s location?” she asks.

“I can only confirm that Maul has not left the city,” Ursa replies without any inflection in her voice, “All other attempts to locate him have been blocked. Saxon is already scrambling his defenses,”

“We’ve got incoming,” Rex warns, however, they had no time to react. Sirens begin to wail as the acrid stench of smoke permeates through the air and burns their nostrils and air passage. Some of the ships are ablaze as the fire dances mockingly, terrorizing those who are trapped within its merciless grip. It is ravenous, devouring anything that dares to stand in its path. A frenzy of orders is relayed to placate this situation. Jetpacks are passed out and it is slung over their shoulders.

“Sorry, General, but we do not have enough jet packs for the both of you,” apologizes Rex with a sheepish look on his features.

“Don’t need one,” Anakin says and jumps out of the ship. 

“Race ya, two, to the ground,” Ahsoka follows suit and jumps, leaving Rex to collect his thoughts.

Anakin ignites the lightsaber and feels the Force flowing through his veins, he deflects away several blasts. He performs a series of flips and somersaults before touching down; more lasers hurtle towards him which he deflects back to the opponents. Ahsoka is the second to come, only a few seconds after and helps along with the opponents that threaten to overwhelm them. Rex arrives the last as he whips out his pistols and begins shooting down several of the red-armored Mandalorians.

“Beat both of you,” Anakin says cockily, earning a fond eye roll from Ahsoka before they forge their ways into the din of the battle. The cacophony of blasterfire and the frantic orders yelled out by superiors begin to overtake their senses. The civillians have been evacuated from the city as the battle intensifies. The sound of blasters deflected off lightsabers and the resounding shots from pistols have become merely background noise to all the destruction and death that has been happening. Bodies slump with numerous blast marks on their armor - both Clone and Mandalorian - smoke begins to drift, polluting the clear skies as the glass on windows splinters into cracks that resemble spider webs. Anakin uses both the Force and lightsaber in tandem, pushing away his opponents and deflecting blasters. His prowess, however, is equally matched by the Mandalorians as they fight tooth and nail to capture Maul. Both sides clash and fight till the end; the outcome, however, remains mysterious and distant as they focus on winning.

For years, Duchess Satine Kryze tries to keep peace nevertheless, after her death, chaos runs rampant like cyanide in blood - it infects and spreads quickly and slowly destroys the fake semblance of peace that Prime Minister Almec holds. The Siege of Mandalore has begun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment or kudos which will be greatly appreciated. ohho, the drama begins yeehaw. we are nearing revenge of the sith, time to buckle your sith (get the pun ha) belts for a rocky and emotional ride. love y'all <3


	8. don't let me go, i'm slipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter yeehaw! hopefully, y'all like it. please comment and kudos. i would really appreciate it!

The Force gushes through him like a broken dam, it pulsates through his veins, aiding every step he takes. It whispers its will and he carries it out - it is what a Jedi does - the lightsaber in his hand hums and thunders whenever crimson meets green. His movements are aided by the adrenaline that roars in his ears and his heart thrums and craves for more of this excitement. Blue and green against red, they meet and lock in earnest as sparking noises resounds throughout the room. It is not soon that Obi-Wan is lifted in the air as his fingers pry at an invisible hand curling against his neck and Dooku slams him onto the durasteel walls and topples a structure over his legs. The man falls with a guttural sound of pain and loses consciousness, Avian feels a rush of anger that makes him feel sharper and more alert, he exhales sharply as his emerald blade locks in earnest with the blood-red one - they rumble to prove their dominance - Avian retracts his attack and parrying away a sneaky attack from Dooku and flips backwards. They fight down the stairs with flourishes, parries and attacks - they are evenly matched - Avian breathes hard as weariness settles in his bones after a while. Dooku looks even more tired despite the sly smirk on his face.

“I sense much anger in you, delicious and focused,” Dooku says slyly, his countenance showing no weakness, “ Such a shame you don’t use them,”

Avian snarls, tendrils of anger licking the bottom of his heart as he pushes for harder blows and parries. His aggression doubles as he goes for harder and stronger attacks and it seems the Count is almost struggling. He feels vindication, he feels fuelled, sadistic happiness rises from his heart upon seeing the genuine surprise and fear on his face. 

With a neat slice, his hands are no longer and his skin is melted and soldered, a small trickle of blood oozes and fades away. Dooku stumbles onto his knees, now at Avian’s mercy; he reaches for Dooku’s red saber which is held right below his neck. Dooku’s throat bobs in fear as if he is gulping at the sudden show of power. Satisfaction curls through his heart, extinguishing the furnace of anger in his heart. He may not be the Chosen One but he is the first to defeat a Sith while his brother has not; something about that allows a sort of vindication to fester within his heart. His lightsaber thrums in power, asking for bloodshed but Avian knows he has overstepped his stay.

“Kill him,” the Chancellor says, quietly, “Now. I know it is what you want,”

Avian does it, without even a single thought. The man falls headless and he closes his eyes to not see the sight, turning away and extinguishing both the lightsabers and throwing Dooku’s onto the floor.

“I couldn’t stop myself. I shouldn’t have,” His voice is soft, hoarse and lets himself be overwhelmed with conflict and guilt.

A long pause follows.

“You did what you had to. It needed to be done-,” Palpatine says with a sick sort of glee coating his voice, “ he’s too dangerous to be kept alive. You did the galaxy a favor,”

  
  


Avian accepts it, far too easily for his liking. He crouches next to Obi-Wan and lifts the debris off him. Without a word, he checks his pulse and is relieved that his master is still alive. He sits there for a while and enjoys the comfort of the gentle pulse he feels. 

“Avian,” Palpatine raps sharply, “we do not have much time. You must leave him,”

  
  


“His fate will be the same as ours,” Avian cuts the man off, glaring back. He slings Obi-Wan over his shoulders, grunting under his weight and makes his way to forge an escape out of the ship with Obi-Wan and the Chancellor.

***

Padmé’s porcelain face cracks as her eyebrows furrow - her beloved is nowhere to be seen - from the latest intel, she knows Anakin is supposed to be in this mission but nowhere does she see his dark blonde locks nor his charming smile. She peers from behind the white pillar as her stomach twists from thinking about him injured or worse, dead. She pushes away her thoughts and continues looking for Anakin. 

“Oh, General Skywalker,” she attempts to keep her face neutral, trying not to look surprised. Her chocolate orbs caught with his crystalline ones, “By any chance, do you have any news on A- your brother?”

Avian studies her, he feels a new life form - incredibly strong in the Force- and, it radiates from Padmé. Realization hits him and he almost wants to facepalm. His baby brother is a father now, a grown man in his own right. _Oh, Force_ , he’s going to be an uncle. He is not very particularly fond of kids but he remembers Anakin being somewhat good with kids during their mission. He remembers during the Lanteeb incursion that Anakin spent time with the kids in the village and enjoyed it quite a lot. Padmé’s lip quivers, her face equally critical, and looks at him expectantly for a reply.

“General Skywalker?” she asks again, getting Avian’s attention.

  
  


“Oh um, Anakin is posted to the Siege of Mandalore. There have been new revelations but we are forced to keep the details confidential for now,” Avian says, Padmé’s delicate face falls and a tiny bit of guilt rushes.

  
  


“I thought that was a treaty forbidding that,” Padmé makes a noise from behind her throat, keeping an expression that is the epitome of the calmness.

Avian shakes his head, “There is a clause that allows us an exception in this situation. As I have said, I’m not allowed to reveal information about that yet,”

Padmé thinks for a long time, her expression unreadable. She finally hums in acceptance as Avian lets out an inaudible sigh, letting himself relax.

***

_“I want you to be my personal representative on the council…”_

_“I fear the Jedi…”_

_“They’re pushing for more control,”_

“You are on this Council but we do not grant you the rank of Master,” 

His breathing quickens as he clenches his fist, he lets the anger fester in him. He relishes it and stares back with all the fury he can muster at the circle of Masters he is supposedly a subordinate to. Fury licks at the bottom of his throat but he keeps an expression of calmness. Humiliation. Embarrassment. He does not even feel guilty about it. All the Jedi does is make him feel guilty over having perfectly human emotions, they are hypocritical and old-fashioned. His eyes remain focussed and he lets his fury blossom deliciously like a burning furnace as the flames lick deliciously from the pits of his stomach. He does not even bother to stub it, tired of having to feel ashamed and guilty of it all the time.

“Take a seat, Young Skywalker,” Master Windu says, gesturing to the empty seat. Begrudgingly, he sits and compresses the bubble of anger that boils furiously from the pit of his stomach like molten iron.

***

“Avian, I’m on _your_ side,” Obi-Wan raises his voice but Avian continues storming, his face darkening and narrows his eyes.

“Well, you shouldn’t have asked me to commit treason. It’s unacceptable!” Avian rebukes, furious, “I will not spy on the Chancellor. It’s final,”

“Avian, you must understand,” Obi-Wan pleads - he looks almost guilty over it - Avian wants to feel sympathetic but it is ruined by the next few words he utters, “We have no other choice. It is the only way!”

“There always is,” his voice cold, tone scathing - it sends a shiver down the older man’s spine - Avian does not meet with Obi-Wan’s gaze and continues to pick up his pace until Obi-Wan struggles to keep up.

Obi-Wan sighs, shaking his head and calms himself down, “ Our allegiance is to the Senate, not to its leader who has managed to stay way past his term,”

“The Chancellor is what this Republic needs, Obi-Wan,” Avian says, the overhead lights casting a dark shadow over his face, “This war is tearing apart so many lives but you are too busy playing politics,”

“Avian,” Obi-Wan sighs, “The Council is depending on you,”

Avian just storms without a word and does not look back.

***

The once extravagant throne room is a place for peaceful diplomats and pacifists is now torn down by war and bloodshed. The orange rays from the setting sun cast pools of light onto the dark throne room, the watercolor skies are obscured by smoke and fires. Bo-Katan dashes into the din of the battle, the sound of swords clashing is music to her ears. Adrenaline fuels her and she revels in the conflict - success tastes sweet to her tongue - the blasters in her grasp are connected to her. It is like a lifeline. _Beskar’gam_ is so intricate to her culture, every armor tells a story - it is a representation of the warrior and person you are - it is sacred and should be treated with the utmost honor and respect lest you show disrespect and mockery to the warrior and culture. 

_Verd ori'shya beskar'gam._ However, while the armor is sacred, the true part of being a warrior comes from the heart. She has fought many battles, she has lost some and won some. However, she always perseveres until the end. She slides down and her shots make their mark upon several of the red armored _di’kuts._ She dodges away most of them, flips and blasts down a few more whilst sliding down in between a couple of soldiers before attacking them from the back. A quick succession of moves pins down the vile Almec as she feels her righteous fury fester within her heart. Her emerald eyes harden, kicking his right on his noses and watches a trickle of crimson stain his pale skin. Her gaze meets with the amethyst orbs of the man.

“Where’s Maul?” she asks, her voice holds a whirlwind of emotions as Almec laughs, looking gleefully.

“You were never quite the politician your sister was,” he says. It’s always _Satine this, Satine that._ She hates being compared to her. He kicks him, letting out the residual anger out of her system. 

“He wanted you to bring the Jedi,” Almec finally says, “But, you brought the wrong one,”

Her fury vanishes as she desperately presses her communicator to get a signal from Ahsoka, “Ahsoka, come in- you’re walking into a trap!”

No reply.

“Ahsoka!”

***

“I’m...sorry… _Commander_ ,” Vaughn’s voice falters, Ahsoka feels her heart gets caught in her throat. Anakin looks equally distraught. His hand slips from her grip as it slackens. She inhales, getting a sorrowful squeeze from Anakin. They finally register all the fallen bodies of the clones around them, their chest unmoving and still. Anakin’s eyes widen in a sudden realization and Ahsoka does need him to say it. _It all is a kriffing trap_! They leave the room with nothing but fear and desperation in their hearts, they desperately try to find Maul to no avail. Ahsoka bites her lips as they run through the infinite tunnels that sequester Maul from the general public. Soon, they are closed in by red-armored Mandalorians and the person in the middle makes her blood boil. Anakin immediately falls into a defensive position - his eyebrows knitted and teeth gritted - Maul, however, looks unfazed.

“I was hoping for Kenobi,” Maul says coolly, “ Why are you here?”

“Ahsoka…” Maul starts hoarsely, “Tano...is it? And, Anakin Skywalker…”

Ahsoka ignites her lightsabers.

“Where is Kenobi anyway?” he asks with a predatory look in his golden eyes as he circles around his opponents like a lion about to pounce on its prey.

“He’s got an important engagement,” Anakin replies smoothly, anger simmering under his straight face. Anakin taps a small button on his commlink to call Rex and the others for back-up. Maul does not look pleased with the new revelation. He starts pacing around, fear edging his every movement and his eyes are wide and tortured.

“I wonder if the moment may be upon us,” it is a vague sentence - Anakin and Ahsoka tenses, waiting for Maul to attack any moment but it never comes.

“Why you, two, though?” Maul’s gaze alternates between them, “I’m sure getting Skywalker here surely upsets his plan but he still got the other one,”

“No,” Anakin says shortly.

“Surrender, we may ask Master Kenobi himself,” Ahsoka replies as she brings up her lightsaber to guard herself.

“My surrender would be pointless,” Maul says indistinctly, “For if I am correct, we are here near the twilight of the Jedi and the Republic would be no longer the controlling interest in the galaxy,”

“Then, who would it be? You?” Ahsoka accuses.

“No,” the answer is short but his voice is so etched with fear and madness, something about itself scares the duo in front of him, “Darth... _Sidious and maybe, your brother will be his new apprentice_ ,”

Anakin snarls and begins to attack Maul for which the renegade Sith easily dodged. The red Mandalorians try to shoot Anakin down. Ahsoka tries to stop but Anakin has already engaged with Maul and she focuses on trying to keep Anakin from being pinned down by a blast. Maul ignites his crimson blade and attempts to defend himself from the relentless attacks from Anakin. Rex and the men sprint in and start to shoot down the opponents. Anakin is momentarily distracted by a blaster shot that makes its mark on his shoulder, he cries out in pain and clutches the site of injury. Maul picks up Ahsoka using the Force and bangs her into Rex. Then, Maul makes his escape. Anakin orders the men to follow as they begin to chase their escapee. They reach a crossroad - Anakin takes one side while Ahsoka takes the other but they only come to meet with each other at the end with Maul missing.

***

“You still gonna fight?” Ahsoka asks as Anakin rotates his shoulders, wincing.

“Yeah,” Anakin says as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. A white patch peeks from underneath his dark tunic from where it’s injured. He does not seem visibly bothered by it although she knows she, to some extent, cannot trust his own word when it comes to his health. She studies the man carefully as they walk towards the holotable in which Rex and Bo-Katan have gathered already. Ahsoka chooses not to argue about whether he should sit out as they go to the holotable of which they have gotten a transmission from Coruscant.

“There are a small number of firefights going on in sector 11 but your clones have been effective as promised,” Bo-Katan reports. The hologram of Obi-Wan strokes his beard, his coppery hair hidden under a large brown hood of his cloak.

“Maul still evades our custody,” Anakin warns, crossing his arms, “So, things could fall apart quickly,”

“Then, we must capture him,” Bo-Katan says simply although it is easier said than done.

Obi-Wan’s hologram flickers for a moment as if adding an effect to what Bo-Katan has said.

“He mentions a name. _Darth Sidious_ ,” Ahsoka starts, feeling brave. However, she still does not have the bravery to bring Avian up or at least, not yet. A small part of her warns that it is vital information and she should not avoid it. She can also sense Anakin’s conflict from a mile away as his thoughts dwell over his brother. She remembers him doing the same when she first joined the war except it is about his mother. Attachments are always frowned upon in the order but she sees that it strengthens her master. Anakin’s expression darkens as he too remembers the events that have left him with a bacta patch on the back of his shoulders. 

“The Sith Lord who orchestrated this war,” Anakin says, his voice barely above a whisper as if the topic is a taboo.

“I don’t know much but I’ll share with you what the Council suspects,” Obi-Wan begins with an inaudible sigh, he looks like he has aged a century as he starts “Darth Sidious, as Anakin said, is the Sith Lord who orchestrated the Clone Wars and played both sides. We suspect that he is in control of the Senate but not sure who,”

“It was first brought up by Dooku although any chances of learning from his are lost,” Obi-Wan replies, “Avian killed him while rescuing the Chancellor, we’ve lost a vital li-,”

“No!” Anakin cuts him off, “...it can’t be,” 

Everyone turns to Anakin, his voice suddenly booming and loud. His emotions bubble like lava in an active volcano. His eyes are wide and desperate with terror and denial; he refuses to believe what Obi-Wan had said. His blue eyes hold the intensity of the Tatooine’s twin suns but the older man remains unfazed. However, he remembers other incidents and somehow, this makes sense. However, thinking about it and doubting his brother makes Anakin feel guilty. 

Ahsoka studies the man’s posture, his emotions fresh and gushing like an ocean. Ahsoka feels a small part of Anakin where the latter knows that it is about time for it to happen but denies it. Denial runs so deep like a river from the top of the mountain; waves crashing, gurgling and lapping against the rocks on the shore. She exhales, not letting Anakin’s emotions get on top of her own. However, she leaves her bond open just to see if Anakin needs any sort of support. Just in case. She knows grief and he do not mix very well.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan drawls, showing his annoyance, “please let me continue,”

“Sorry, Master,” Anakin says shortly, bowing for a moment.

“As I was saying, we have lost a vital link to solving this mystery,” Obi-Wan says, pausing for a dramatic effect, “But if you catch Maul, we may be able to fill in the blanks to solve this mystery,”

“The success of our mission depends on the capture of Maul,” Anakin states, “ We need more men,”

Ahsoka nods.

Obi-Wan frowns as his hologram flickers. Obi-Wan looks as if he is still calculating something, However, his expression remains unreadable. After a long pause, he finally replies, “I can’t. I’m being sent to the Utapau System to hunt down Grievous,”

“And, what about Avian? He can reinforce us,” Ahsoka looks squarely at the hologram, her blue eyes staring deeply into Obi-Wan’s.

“May I speak with Anakin and Ahsoka alone for a moment?” Obi-Wan asks, his forehead creases with a hidden sort of worry.

Ahsoka watches Bo-Katan and Rex leave, only two of them are left. Anakin’s golden locks shine under the dim lighting as he shifts his position in front of Obi-Wan. Ahsoka feels distress and unease coming from her former master, Anakin keeps his gaze neutral although the force around him sings a different melody. Ahsoka sends a small reassurance through their bond, Anakin visibly relaxes as his shoulders slacken and he no longer clenches his fist. However, it does not relieve all the anxiety and stress he is feeling. Ahsoka does not push any longer instead, focusing on what Obi-Wan has to say.

“Avian is on a special kind of assignment from the order of the Jedi Council,” Obi-Wan begins softly.

Ahsoka studies the older man with bags under his eyes as the top of his side beard begins to grey. Stress is catching up. However, his face remains the standard concerned face that betrays no sort of turmoil or conflict. One of the earliest lessons in the Jedi Temple she remembers is how to project herself and shield, they taught her how to keep your emotions under control and how it leads to the dark side. The truth of it is still debatable to her nevertheless, she keeps her attention on Obi-Wan’s hologram.

“What kind?” Anakin’s voice is sharp and curt as he waits for an answer.

“He has been instructed to observe the Chancellor and report his findings,” Silence follows as Obi-Wan says his reply, Anakin knits his eyebrows as his anger becomes more pronounced in his countenance. 

“That’s treason,” replies Anakin sharply, “ The Chancellor has been a good mentor and friend to us. Even though I don’t visit him as often anymore, I can vouch that he’s a good man,”

Obi-Wan shakes his head sorrowfully, “ He has stayed way past the expiry of his term. The Council wants to know his intentions,”

“I can’t imagine him being happy over this,” Ahsoka’s tone remains painfully monotone, betraying no sort of inflection. She looks at the hologram with doubt although she does not dare voice it. 

“No, he’s not,” Obi-Wan’s tone remains painfully sharp and detached as Anakin brims with ire, “And, Avian’s behavior has changed erratically over the past few years. Anakin, I’m sure you have noticed it considering you are the closest to him,”

Anakin remains quiet, doing mental gymnastics to formulate a reply, “ Ahsoka and I are hardly the persons to support the Council’s decisions on this. Of all the people, you had to choose him. Yes, I have noticed some changes but does not change who he is at the core and what he means to me,”

Anakin looks like he is waiting for another lecture on attachment but it never comes. Obi-Wan studies him for a moment as Anakin stands controlled and still. His eyes never left the man, staring defiantly back. 

“You need to speak with him, Anakin,” Obi-Wan chooses his words carefully, “ If anyone can break through him it is you,”

Anakin nods as Rex calls them and reports about a new emergency. Ahsoka leaves, following Rex but Obi-Wan holds Anakin back.

“Anakin, I need you back on Coruscant,” Obi-Wan says.

“What?” Ahsoka asks, her eyes widening in disbelief. Rex stands for a moment as his grip around his pistols slackens.

“For?” Anakin raises his eyebrows and presses his lips into a thin line.

“The Council will update you once you are there,” Obi-Wan explains, “It’s very important,”

Anakin concedes albeit unwillingly. He promotes Rex to Commander and leaves Ahsoka and Rex in charge of conducting the rest of the Siege.

***

The smell of incense burns his nose as he tastes a liquorice tang on his tongue. Long dark shadows cast over the Chancellor’s face, only small pools of light enters through the cracks of the thick curtain. The only sound in the room is the omnipresent humming of the dim overhead lights and the occasional bustle from the speeders. Spending time in the Halls of Healings no longer provides him with peace nor does it provide him with penance, the time he spends there is tortured with the thoughts of all the death he has caused and his thirst for success clouds his judgment. It torments him, the furnace in him burns brighter than the binary suns on the hottest days. 

He sits cross-legged on the small couch, his eyes closed and his forehead creased, Palpatine asks him to focus on his anger, his hatred, the pain. His negative feelings are like a huge furnace, burning infinitely and endlessly. His voice contains a quiet, eager edge - it masks all the malice that some may have detected but it does not fool Avian. Unease worms to the back of his throat, his feelings burn his insides and sears his skin. It scrapes away at his organs like a sharp knife that endlessly strokes at him. The pain is unsettling at first but as he gets used to it, a strange sort of power emerges from the endless abyss of negativity. It is like the diamond hidden between the stone, shiny and uncorroded. To him, it feels like he is drinking molten gold; the exhilaration never quite leaves him until Palpatine opens his mouth again. 

“How does it make you feel?” Palpatine asks, the ray of light casts a pool of itself over his eyes. His gaze looks menacing but he finds a strange sort of comfort from it. Avian exactly knows what he’s talking about but the shame and guilt prevent him from saying anything. He struggles to keep his eyes closed, the words he whispers are enticing and intoxicating. The power makes him giddy and full of life. 

“Makes you focused, doesn’t it?” he supplies slowly, “Only with power can you do anything meaningful. The Jedi are fools, you know it deep down. They are holding you back, aren’t they?”

Avian nods slowly and carefully. His throat bobs in unease as he could feel Palpatine eyeing him greedily like a lion about to pounce on its prey except this lion is sneakier and silent. He’s a snake. He feels unclean and tense as he focuses on his feelings despite the rejuvenation it provides him with. 

“Your thoughts dwell on your brother,” Palpatine says slowly, “He stole so many things from you. The Chosen One title all the way to your respect in the Order. Do you think he truly loves you?”

“Stop!” Avian roars, his head feels muddles as if someone is worming its way into it.

Palpatine _tsks_. Avian feels fear capture his heart, “You heard me, didn’t you? They want to control you, use you. You are just a pawn in their chess game. I’ll treat you like the hero you are, with the respect you deserve and the power you should hold,”

“It’s all in your hands,” Palpatine finally says.

“You’re a Sith,” Avian says, realization dawns upon him. 

Palpatine’s eyes twinkle knowingly, “I can show you the way to greatness, you can live a life of significance if you just listen to my plan, son,”

Curiosity gets the better of him and his lust overtakes his senses. He nods slowly and listens, feeling even more horrified after every word that the snake whispers into his ears. He sells his soul to a literal devil.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave some feedback either in the form of kudos or comment. thank you!


	9. embrace it, we're near the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credits to be given here - the concept of force bonds is inspired by sun's sudden embrace by asparagus_writes! please be sure to check their work out; i really enjoyed it and gave me a wide range of emotions. without further ado, here is the chapter! please kudos and comment!

Avian tells them everything. He does not leave even a single detail out. Master Windu listens to it carefully.

Anakin reaches Coruscant. He finds  Padmé. They melt into each other's hug as Anakin whispers that their meeting is going to be brief.

Master Windu asks Avian to stay. Palpatine’s plans dictate something else. Conflict muddles his judgment and frustration begins to brew. He follows Palpatine nevertheless. 

Obi-Wan has engaged Grievous on Utapau; they fight like there is no tomorrow, one blue blade against several. The blades lock in earnest and hiss upon contact, bright light blinds them momentarily.

The twilight of the Republic has settled, the sun sinks lower and lower. The sky is splashed with all sorts of warm hues like watercolor paint splattered all over it. No one realizes the foreboding sense of doom except a few. Padmé’s finger tangles into Anakin’s soft curls that frame his sun-kissed face as Anakin wraps his arms around her neck, his hand rests on the nape of her neck. They settle into an embrace before they say farewell. 

Maul’s amber eyes flutter open in sudden realization. The moment is upon them. He knows how it will end. His master is indeed a smart man. They are all going to end. His plan shall come to fruition.

Ahsoka stands in front of the hull of the star destroyer as she watches the star streak as a blue tube encloses them. She feels light and hopeful; the war is going to end. However, she does not know that her happiness will be short-lived.

***

Avian rushes to the Chancellor’s office; a couple of Jedi Masters engage Palpatine. The Chancellor’s true colors are revealed. He easily defeats them by stabbing his lightsaber into their abdomens; it has been a while since he actually fought. His talents lie more in the Force side of things. Nevertheless, the adrenaline is a refreshing touch to all the sitting and it is good to know that his physical prowess has not diminished. He relishes the feeling of holding the red blade in his hands as it feels ravenous for more bloodshed. Avian sprints forward with all the might he could, he would look unnaturally fast to those who are not accustomed to Force Users. However, he needs Palpatine, a small part of him whispers. No matter how wrong and displaced it feels, he rushes into the familiar pathways. The red velvet carpet welcomes him and the smell of incense has never been so comforting.

Master Windu has cornered him to the edge of the window, it’s glass has shattered into smithereens. The smell of singed flesh permeates through his nose as the sudden brightness of the blue lightning causes him to shield his eyes. It arcs over, lapping hungrily at the purple blade of Master Windu’s. Palpatine’s skin becomes almost ghost-like as his wrinkles become more pronounced and his eyes are no longer the dull leaden-blue color that he has come to familiar with but his eyes are liquid gold rimmed with red.

“Skywalker!” Mace’s dark face betrays his surprise, “Come help me!”

Avian stays ram-rod still as he watches everything unfold. Master Windu’s countenance fades into one of intense concentration. 

“He must stand trial,” Avian says, his eyes still shielded as the smell of burnt flesh and hair permeates through the crisp air. 

“He’s a Sith Lord,” protests Windu, “He controls the courts and the Senate! We must execute him,”

That is all he needs to hear as he ignites his green lightsaber. He swings it, it feels ravenous in his hands and craves for blood. It slices through his flesh arm, it falls into the endless depths of Coruscant together with the purple blade in its grip. Master Windu brings his other hand to nurse his stump and Palpatine does the final blow - he sends a renewed arc of intense electricity from his pale fingers and Avian watches the man tumble down and disappear into the distance. 

“How do you feel?” Palpatine croons, standing up, “Tell me how does it feel? What is it that you have accomplished?”

Avian crumples, his face contorts into one of horror and pain - collapses to his knees- onto the red carpet.

“Justified,” he gasps as the horror in him fades into resignation and a strange sense of acceptance.

“You’re fulfilling your destiny, my boy,” Palpatine begins eerily, “You have passed the test. Become my apprentice. I know you want it,”

“I’ll do it,” Avian says, determination on his face.

“Good,” Palpatine whispers, his tone seductive, “You shall let go of any relations to your past life and start anew. Are you ready for it?”

“I pledge myself to your teachings,” Avian nods slowly, his blue orbs meeting with his amber ones.

“Now rise, my apprentice,” Palpatine says, “You shall be known as Darth Vader,”

Something about it clicks. He stands and something in him changes like a switch has been flipped.

***

“Anakin!”  Padmé  feels scared as she bites her lips to look at Anakin crumpling to the floor, his breathing ragged as he screws his eyes shut and holds his head tightly. She watches with horror as he coughs; a steady stream of crimson streaks under his nose and drips onto the floor. She calls him again, raising her voice more than necessary but gets no sort of response from him. She is visibly horrified by the spatters of liquid, red as the wine she drinks during galas that stains her polished wooden floors. She helps to prop him against the wall, not caring about the stains on her floor. Anakin coughs again, gasping for air as if his chest is wound tight and he cannot breathe.

She brings a white towel and holds it under his nose, blood spreads over the cloth, turning it just as red as the blood of the floors. She calls the medic, not caring for the consequences that are to follow. Anakin struggles for a long while until the medic comes and until then, she tangles her finger into his hair and rubs circles over his back. By the time the medics come, he is spasming and she has managed to put a cushion below his head before he can do anything too damaging to himself. She thanks  _ Shiraya  _ that they have sent a droid; the droid decides against sedation and decides to just administer painkillers. Anakin’s convulsions decrease gradually within a few minutes,  Padmé feels relief flood through her as she digs her fingers into her locks and massages his head gently . Anakin groans, his eyes fluttering to reveal two clear blue orbs as she gently draws circles on his scalp while tangling her fingers into his hair. However, he is still in pain. The droid, then, presses a hypo with painkillers onto the exposed part of his neck and she waits with bated breath for it to come in effect. He falls asleep almost immediately after that.

The next mysterious part is that the droid has not picked up anything wrong from his scanners. The droid tells him that Anakin is perfectly healthy and there is no real physical cause for his seizure.  Padmé frowns as they transfer Anakin onto the couch. The droid then asks them to go to a hospital for a check-up but she declines it quickly. She asks the droid to do whatever it needs here after noticing the Jedi Temple burning from the distance. Worry creases her forehead as she fears for whatever is happening means harm to the future of the Jedi. The droid leaves after hooking Anakin up to an IV line, saying that it will come in tomorrow and leaves painkillers just in case the migraine comes back again. 

Padmé has never felt so exhausted in her life as she resigns to spend the rest of the day sitting next to Anakin while feeling the growing baby kick at her belly. Anakin still does not know, her mind reminds her. 

***

“ _ Execute Order 66 _ ,” A gravelly voice says, the owner of it hidden under an ink-black cowl.

***

Yoda feels life suddenly drain away and feels a sharp pain in his chest. He lets his gimer stick down, feeling significantly weakened. There is a shift in the Force, a much darker one and it threatens to poison his mind. He leans onto a wall and waits for the pain to fade away; the pain gradually ebbs away although a sense of safety has been stolen.

***

Ahsoka holds her head as a wave of nausea hits her; she stumbles back momentarily. Pure unadulterated pain courses through her head as her heart pounds rapidly against her ribcage. It takes a good few minutes for it to clear as she looks up. The voices that she had just heard echo slightly and the shutter door opens. Rex stands, his hands trembling as he lifts up two of his pistols. Ahsoka’s eyes widen as she feels a lump stuck in her throat. The lively energy in the Force dissipates, leaving grief and greyness to envelope the galaxy.

“Rex,” she asks, her voice trembles slightly as the other clones have raised their rifles and point them at her. Her hands stray towards her lightsabers fastened at her hip.

“I’ll take care of her,” Rex says as the other clones lower their rifles. Rex’s gaze looks unnaturally focused as his countenance betrays his hesitation. She ignites both of her blades as they begin to fire, blaster shots echo throughout the montrals as she deflects away the projectiles that threaten to make their mark on her.

***

The footfall of soldiers shakes the floors of the Jedi Temple, the sound of their boots hitting the tiles resounds in an unnaturally synchronized rhythm. Thousands of clones - their armor painted in a luminescent yellow of which its hue is only heightened by the lights that cast from the huge entry doors. Carefully constructed alabaster pillars spiral towards the ceiling, bearing the weight of the structure. Boots tread across into the temple as the sound of blaster shots threatens to overwhelm the peaceful nature of the temple. Smoke begins to drift through as no Jedi is free from scrutiny; the resounding noise of the rifles being fired as the lasers threaten to make their mark on those who call the Temple as their home. Once a sanctuary, chaos and grief threaten to take over as scorch marks stain the beautiful architecture. Most of the shots land right on their chest - clone trooper precision at their finest- they fall to the ground; their body broken and bruised and the last thought on their mind is fear. 

Avian leads it all - no matter how disgusted and horrified he is, he follows through as his green blade slices through as the Force sings in his head. The grief and misery are like adding fuel to fire, he feels himself growing powerful over his moment. It is intoxicating and leaves a sweet, tangy taste in his mouth. The smell of burnt flesh and the singed metal and plastoids permeate through the air; he walks into the Council room as his disgust threatens to make him keel over. He sees them - initiates and padawans - not yet seen the horror of battle nor aware of the consequences that are to follow. Avian almost feels bad although his lightsaber sings a different tune - it is hungry for more - it is unrelenting for the shed of blood. 

“Master Skywalker, there are too many of them,” The oldest - a blonde-haired, watery-eyed boy no older than nine - asks, his eyes wide with hope upon seeing him.

He ignites his saber as all his previous feelings of guilt and disgust vanish. With all his might, he swings his lightsaber that slices through flesh and metal and easily disarms those who try to oppose him. Despite his stalwart expression, his emotions are a whirlwind that weasels their ways to the back of his throat and threatens to burst like a broken dam. He hardens himself to his resolve and lets his lightsaber do his job all while ignoring the terrified screams that echo in his head as he leaves the room into the open. He answers to no one anymore. It is once a small part of him but now the blackness engulfs his innards and burns even the littlest part of humanity that is left in him.

***

Master Yoda and Obi-Wan walk through the once lively hallways which have lost all its grandeur as precious tapestries have been shot and torn into pieces, the white walls scorched and stained with soot and ashes. Bodies of Jedi are strewn over - broken, bloody and mangled - Obi-Wan stifles a gasp and clenches his fist. They enter the Council Chamber, the first rays of sunlight begin to filter through and highlight all the lifeless bodies on the floor, still and unmoving. They survey the carnage without uttering a single word, too shocked and horrified to say anything.

“Killed by clones, this padawan was not,” Yoda says slowly, horror coloring his tone, “By a lightsaber, he was,”

“Who?” Obi-Wan asks, his hands clasping over his mouth - he feels utterly distraught as his heart hammers against his chest. His voice sounds too vulnerable and weak, he is almost embarrassed. Death sings a sorrowful song in the Force, mourning and weeping for those who cannot. Thousands of lives all lost within a snap of a finger, right before the sunrise - he lets his feelings go momentarily and lets Yoda investigate.

They walk into the control centre, blue lights illuminate the room dimly. Computers sprawl across the room as Obi-Wan crouches, attempting to send a distress signal, warning Jedi against returning to Coruscant. He, then, says, “There is something I must know, Master, it’s in the security recordings, isn’t it?”

“If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find,” Master Yoda says, shaking his head.

“I must know,” Obi-Wan replies, his voice unwavering and firm. Determination fills his ashen-blue eyes, burning brightly for an answer. The green troll does not stop him instead watches Obi-Wan flip a couple of switches as a blue hologram of Avian appears. The hologram proceeds to slash through Jedi with no mercy as his eyes burn brightly with hatred and anger. He kneels down as Sidious appears into the picture, his face filled with abominable glee. Yoda’s face remains unfazed as if he knows this is about to happen. Obi-Wan looks betrayed, losing all semblance of Jedi detachment. 

He shakes his head and denies, “It can’t be... _ no _ ,”

Yoda averts his gaze, a heaviness clings onto the wizened Jedi. Obi-Wan’s eyes are semi-shiny, tears sheen under the dim lighting of the room and he turns off the footage and emptiness seizes his heart and bites down the urge to throw up. They stand in silence, Obi-Wan mourns as he comes to terms with what he has been told. The scene replays in his mind, the fleeting images flashes before him and he feels nothing more than to crumple onto the floor - Yoda, however, remains as the picture-perfect model of a Jedi, looking as if he has not just learnt what he had and thus, never shaken - Obi-Wan stays, throat bobbing.

Yoda finally speaks, “Destroy the Sith, we must,”

Obi-Wan nods slowly, “Send me to kill the Emperor, I will not kill Avian,”

“Think you are strong enough to handle Lord Sidious,” Yoda harrumphs, making the younger Master feel shy, “Not ready to defeat him, you are,”

“He’s like my brother,” Obi-Wan says, feeling broken.

“Find Anakin, you must before attempting this. In Coruscant, he is - but where, only you will know,” Yoda replies sagely, “ The boy you trained, no longer there...consumed by Darth Vader, he has become,”

“How can it have come to this?” Obi-Wan laments, emotion bubbling to his surface.

“Tell you the answer to that, I cannot. To find them both, you must search your feelings,” Master Yoda preaches, “Trust in the Force, Obi-Wan. Visit the new emperor, my new task will be. May the Force be with you,”

“May the Force be with you too, Master,” Obi-Wan replies.

***

The Force feels hollow and empty to Obi-Wan even with his lower than average Jedi midi-chlorian count. He joined the Jedi with only been estimated to have the bare minimum. The galaxy is grieving for all the lives lost as he hears voices screaming in terror and pain and are silenced almost after and leaves a sinking, dull feeling that makes his stomach twist. He hides his face under his hood as his eyes never leave the smoke that drifts from the roofs of the Jedi Temple as a fire burns mournfully as if it is weeping for the lives lost. He focuses on reaching the  _ 500 Republica _ ; a nagging feeling tells him that he needs to be there as he scampers through the boundless streets of Coruscant. 

He reaches the door and raps on the door - the bio-scan does not recognize him and he could only be let in by the occupants. Padmé greets him, dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn’t slept. They don’t exchange many words but he walks in, nevertheless, and finds Anakin leaning on a cushion on the couch, looking equally or if not, more exhausted. Padmé sits next to him, whispering something into his ears and the unearthly pallor on his face and the lack of words from his usually lively friend leaves him rather unnerved.

“Anakin?” he gets the attention of the other man, he notices an IV tucked neatly under his left elbow.

“Yeah?” asks Anakin, “What’s up?”

Padmé brings some drinks into the room with Threepio following her trail. She explains what happened and a realization dawns upon Obi-Wan but he does not know how to quite break it to them.

“For starters, the cause of Anakin’s sudden illness would have to be linked to Force bonds,” Obi-Wan begins carefully, avoiding the mention of Avian, “When Avian turned-”

He hears something break and looks at Anakin who is alert and sitting up straight and Padmé looks shocked upon noticing the glass of drinks that has shattered into unscavengable pieces and shines under the sunlight. 

“He couldn’t have,” Anakin snarls, blood rushing to his face and his eyes brimming with ire.

Obi-Wan exhales deeply and restarts, “Force Bonds are what essentially are stretched rubber strings; they can be damaged or snapped through many ways, most common being death. What happened to Anakin is a different case, the bond he had with Avian has been overloaded with so much emotions - emotions are like weights, when there is too much weight it breaks - it snapped and recoils which has dramatically caused what essentially is a psychic trauma to Anakin,”

Anakin grows unusually silent.

“They are usually characterized by seizures, migraines, unusual bleeding - most commonly nosebleeds, breathing difficulties, confusion, lethargy. In rare cases, cease of the function of the brain, shock, and death. The more _ Force-Sensitive _ you are, the worse your symptoms will be. They usually can last from two days up until a week,” Obi-Wan explains, “ Most have recovered, nevertheless. Usually, the overload of emotions are from negative emotions like hatred, anger, vengeance as it can have an adverse effect on the receiver,”

Padmé nods slowly; Anakin’s gaze turns distant.

“So, you are telling me Avian turned to the dark side?” it is more of a question than an accusation but it scares Obi-Wan, nonetheless.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan’s words are careful and calculated as if one wrong move could break Anakin, “I saw a security footage of him killing... _ younglings _ ,”

Anakin manages to pull the IV off and stands up, his expression contorts into disbelief and fury, “You’re wrong. Avian is a good person, he wouldn’t have done this,”

“But, he did,” Obi-Wan says mournfully, “He’s been deceived, Anakin, we all were,”

“Obi-Wan, do you have any kriffing idea of what you are accusing my brother of,” Anakin begins, every word increases in volume as his anger soars, “It can’t be him!”

Anakin shakes his head, “You’re lying,”

“Anakin, you  _ felt  _ it-” Obi-Wan emphasizes, “his hatred, his fury, his vengeance,”

Anakin is loath to admit, “You’re going to kill him - and, you are going to ask me to join, aren’t you?”

“It’s all my fault,” Anakin’s voice falters as he sits, feeling so small and broken, “I should have intervened,”

Padmé hushes him as her fingers tangle into his golden locks as Anakin leans into her touch and places his flesh hand over her swollen belly. She whispers softly, “No, Ani, it isn’t. It’s okay,”

Obi-Wan studies the couple, “...Anakin’s the father, isn’t he?”

Padmé makes a delicate noise from her throat, Anakin does not even bother to look up as he rests his head on the nook of his beloved’s neck. That is all the answer he needs to confirm his suspicions. Anakin looks so devastated, disbelief and horror are carved into every feature and his throat bobs as if he is stifling the urge to cry.

“You think there’s good in him?” she asks, just loud enough for Obi-Wan to hear her ethereal voice.

Wordlessly, Anakin nods as Obi-Wan is reminded of the scared and frightened boy he saw when he returned after the battle of Geonosis.

“Then, there is,” Padmé announces, her eyebrows knit in determination.

A moment of silence passes as Obi-Wan stands awkwardly, watching the couple melt into each other’s embrace; disbelief still has not left Anakin’s face. He looks distraught, eyes glistening despite his hardened expression. Padmé, on the other hand, looks worried as she lets Anakin wrap his arms around her as she presses her face against his chest, her lips slightly parted as she processes the information she has been given. Anakin’s jaw is set tight as his mechanical arm is clenched tight; no one really cares for the shattered glass on the carpet which is wet from the spillage. 

“We’re gonna save him,” Anakin finally says, “you, two, stay here. I can get through him,”

Padmé frowns, worry creasing her forehead, “I know you are feeling much better but you still need to rest,”

Anakin shakes his head, “Inaction is why so many people fail. I’m doing it before it’s too late,”

“Then, let me come with you,” Padmé says. Anakin doesn’t argue; Obi-Wan stays as he watches the couple leave the room.

***

The warm glow of the lava illuminates the dark sands of Mustafar eerily, the heat radiates with such ferocity that it devours anything that stands in its ways and burns hellishly, tearing through flesh, bone and metal alike. Toxic fumes from the volcanos spiral darkly in the air, poisoning the air, making inhalation of the air venomous in the long term. Metal structures gleam under the sinister yellow glow as heat-resistant droids lined in a blue glow bustle their way through their daily work. Avian’s job is quite simple; executing the Separatists. He feels no sympathy for them - all they have done is spread pain and suffering through the galaxy - anger quickens his breathing as his face warms and turns red. His viridescent blade cuts through them with nothing but vengeance and hatred as flecks of gold begins to mix with his cerulean orbs. He moves through like a grim reaper, his black cloak casting long shadows over his face, making him all the more intimidating and strikes fear in the hearts of the Separatist Leaders. Fear tastes delicious from others - all his life he has been scared of others and needed to answer to them, first, Watto, the Jedi Council - he’s finally free and it leaves a treacly taste on his tongue. Success is gratifying to him as the power it gives him makes him feel much more significant and important. 

“Focus on your anger,” he can hear Palpatine coaching, he finally embraces it instead of feeling guilty over it. It fills him with power, the potential of his fury and hatred has often been ignored by the Jedi - _ they are dogmatic, too rooted to their old ways _ , Palpatine says - he feels they are holding him back. It has always been about his brother who has shown more potence in the Force and is the prophesied Chosen One. He has always been hidden under his brother’s shadow. For he is a supernova in the Force and he finds himself, basking in the darkness. He gets everything - from a padawan all the way to fame. 

Anakin lands on the landing pad as he quickly exits from the cockpit, his lightsaber swinging precariously from his belt. He asks Padmé to stay - it is not safe for her - she reluctantly obliges. Anakin jogs down to the landing pad and despite the emotions that bubble inside his heart, he keeps his expression stalwart. He sees Avian, but something in him has changed that makes Anakin so surprised. His anger just as blistering as the sultry air; Anakin keeps his expression neutral, not intimidated by his brother’s presence. He notices his once blue eyes - just as blue as the sky of Tatooine - now a sinister liquid gold with red rims. Anakin smothers the urge to gulp and keeps his stance ready just in case he was to attack.

“Anakin,” it is not exactly affectionate nor is it anger. 

“You turned, didn’t you?” Anakin begins, “I felt it in the Force and our bond-”

“It’s no longer important. Attachments make one weak,” Avian’s tone chilling and scathing, his eyes blaze intensely, “Maybe, it is one thing that the Jedi are right on,”

“Avian,” Anakin raises his voice a little bit, hiding his fear under the facade of bravery, “It’s not too late to turn back. We’ll solve whatever it is the problem, you don’t need Sidious,”

“Oh, but you have no idea of the power it gives me…” Avian says with a mirthless smile.

“You’re drunk on power,” Anakin’s tone is sharp and cutting.

“Join me, Ani,” Avian replies, “I can convince Sidious to allow you to become my apprentice and we’ll rule this galaxy,”

“I’m not much of a politician,” Anakin says, “So, no, I won’t join,”

“Then, I’m sorry,” Avian replies, his tone strangely even, “You will be marked for termination by Order 66,” 

Anakin ignites his lightsaber as it locks in earnest with Avian’s green blade. He grits his teeth, imposing all his strength to push back the blade away from him as he feels the heat radiate onto his face, adding to the already hellish atmosphere from the lava. They thunder upon, meeting as Anakin quickly deflects away the strikes that come far too close for comfort. Padmé comes out from the ship, hearing the commotion as she stands transfixed as her jaw drops upon looking at the scene before her. Anakin grunts, about to disarm Avian with a quick round movement but is caught off-guard and pushed back onto the smooth floor. He recovers quickly but stops in his tracks upon the next sight that meets him. 

He lifts Padmé up in the air, her feet shaking as she claws desperately at an invisible hand around her throat, her lips turn into an ashen-blue color as she struggles to breathe. The sounds she makes from her throat is heart-wrenching as Avian asks him to surrender. Anakin refuses and heads face-first into him, knocking the air out of his stomach and screams at him to  _ let her go _ . Avian loses his concentration and balance and loses grip over her, surprised at the distressing scream that his brother has just let out. Anakin lowers Padmé into the ground using the Force gently onto the landing pad. Avian groans softly, looking a little dazed as his lightsaber lays a few inches away from him. He calls it using the Force, ignites it and forces Anakin to defend himself using his own. 

“I trusted you,” Anakin rages, letting anger warm his face, “Is this what Mom would have wanted?”

“If it weren’t for me, you would’ve killed the Tuskens there and then,” Avian replies scathingly, “You have no right to lecture me on what Mom would have wanted,”

Avian pushed Anakin off, lifting his lightsaber to his head and pointing it towards Anakin. They continuously begin a rhythm of parry and strikes with their lightsabers clashing and dancing to a vicious lullaby, the clash of their lightsabers akin to the beats as they focus on trying to gain the upper edge. Avian’s anger and hatred are overpowering even without a proper bond between them; Anakin tries not to think over the fact that they no longer have a bond and focus on making out of it alive. The air hisses in his ears as Avian’s fury seems to compete with the heat of the lava, Anakin focuses on parrying away without hurting his brother. Despite all the vengeance and hatred, Anakin knows of the good in him - a tiny sliver of light hidden away and locked up - he needs to appeal to that. With much strength, he pushes away Avian and kicks him on the gut. He stumbles back as his fury multiplies ten-fold, the glow of the lava makes Avian’s face dark and intimidating but Anakin is unfettered. With another burst of energy, he goes for a couple of attacks, flourishing his saber whilst parrying the unrelenting attacks from his opponent. Avian snarls despite the hard expression and teeth-grinding clench of his jaw. Anakin flips forward, over his head and quickly blocks another attack with a sharp breath. His green blade attempts to slice through his arms again as Anakin blocks it but in a gut-wrenching attack, he manages to disarm Anakin and leaves the younger man on the floor at his mercy.

“No,” Sharp and simple, Obi-Wan’s blade blocks Avian from performing the final strike. Anakin scrambles away and reaches for his own blade and they go for another flurry of attacks that is blocked by the other.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin frowns, eyebrows furrow in confusion, “What are you doing here?”

“I stowed myself away in your ship,” Obi-Wan says curtly as he goes for an attack all while attempting to keep his legs intact. Avian goes for a low blow as they fight across the metal bridge near the cusp of the cliff where lava flows intensely as it stringently flows down into the river full of glowing molten metal. At the cusp of the bridge which leads to a great fall and plunges them right into the lava. Anakin jumps onto a metal structure, still delivering blows onto Avian who defends them with little to no ease. Obi-Wan follows as the three men climb up the metal structure. The heat burns into their scalps, leaving a burning feeling as the fumes make their nostrils itch. Their mouths feel parched and dry as they continue fighting, clambering up cables. The lava roars in anger and fuels Avian’s rage. 

“I’ll give you one more chance,” Avian says, anger simmering under his face as the reddish glow on his face makes him look even more formidable. His fury is so potent and fuels him with no end, “Join me or die,”

“No, thanks,” Anakin says, earning an annoyed sigh from Obi-Wan as he braces away from another sweeping blow. The structure collapses as it leans forward into the godforsaken river; now, it is a game of survival as they clamber higher and higher. The lava devours the metal greedily as even the most heat resistant structures are impervious to its lustful touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please know that everything here that is medical isn't accurate so don't use this as nay basis. please leave kudos and comments which will be highly appreciated!


	10. if there is a reason i'm still alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooboy, yesssss, here we goooooooooooo!

“It doesn’t have to end this way!” Anakin says as he ducks away from the blade of Avian’s saber. They battle across the falling metal pillar as cables swing and spark. Avian jumps onto the head of the droid as Anakin follows pursuit, the heat of lava causes sweat to coat his face - his hair matted down - exhaustion begins to slow his moves as his limbs feel heavy. Despite himself, he continues to fight with all the vigor and might. He is one of the best duellists in the Order - he makes sure to parry away the strikes from the green blade as Obi-Wan follows behind. The lava roars and casts pools of light and shadows. Avian’s jaws are hard set as his dark hair looks even darker under the lighting as long shadows under his eyes make him look intimidating.

“Oh, but, I want it this way,” Avian snarls, the slight furrow of his eyebrows make him look like a different person. The scalding heat of the air burns through his exposed skin as the pain provides him with a new form of power. He lets it fester inside him - his heart is like a furnace - lava bursts behind them as his green lightsaber clashes again. His amber eyes burn with fury as he imposes his will upon his lightsaber, the Force in his head sings a sinister melody and lets his thirst for vengeance and anger twine into a dangerous duo, making him even more formidable and gives him the extra push he needs. Anakin stands with his jaws clenched as his eyes glisten under the dim lights provided by the bubbling lava below their feet. His cyan blade clashes with his green as Obi-Wan attempts an attack from the other side; he easily blocks them as they retract their attack and gives him a chance to invent his own, he forges his way as Anakin flips onto his platform, his green blade clashes with his cyan one - they thunder as Avian concocts his next attack. 

Avian sweeps a blow to Obi-Wan’s neck which the older man ducks to and avoids. They fight their way onto the dunes of the dark sand, it feels soft under his boots and slips whenever he is to put his foot over a particularly hilly one. Anakin attempts to disarm him again although it is ill-advised - he is incredibly reckless, a quality Sidious would not approve of - taking advantage of his particularly ill-advised attack, he knocks the lightsaber out his gloved hand as Anakin brings his left in a poor attempt to force-push him. Obi-Wan attempts to attack him again to which he blocks with his own as they both lock in earnest, fizzling and hissing. He takes that as a moment to grab Anakin’s hand after a particularly strong push from him and he crushes it. With a cry of pain, Anakin steps back - taken aback - his gaze hardens at him. The small victory makes him feel heady that he has so easily defeated the so-called Chosen One. Maybe, they are wrong. Maybe, he is the _ Chosen One. _

He retracts his left arm away as Avian turns his head to focusing on Obi-Wan; his fingers in a mottled blue color and slightly swollen. Despite the pain, he summons his lightsaber once more and starts to fight an attack all while ignoring the sparks of pain going up his arm. Obi-Wan and Anakin continue their battle as the younger man repeatedly asks if he wants to come back only to be replied with cold denial. Adrenaline courses through their veins - their pain and anguish forgotten in their battle for survival - the heat gives a new meaning as its harsh touch gives them more and more determination. They reach the lip of a death-defying, unearthly fall although the irony in it is that one misstep might as well lead to their downfall. Despite the odds, they fight with renewed determinations in bursts of energy rather than trying to conserve it. 

With a rush of pride on the momentary pain he has inflicted on the prophesied Chosen One, he feels the taste of success intoxicating. His fury destroys all his doubts and gives a new meaning to clarity - his vision feels sharper and he has never felt so alive before - he has always been the second but now, he is fighting to be the first. He knows he is better than all of them and that he has to prove himself somehow that he is just as worthy as his brother who is a beacon of hope to all. He ought to win and that is what he focuses on. His rage burns inside him - his body is a powerful furnace - and the screaming agony and pain the galaxy is in is all because of  _ him _ . The fact itself shrieks in his mind and yet, guilt does not follow at all. He is near the cusp of victory - he feels it and it brushes against his metaphorical finger; it fuels him with a renewed purpose. Anger boils over and warms his face - it is red from exertion - Anakin looks so disgusted with him but Avian could not bring himself to feel bad over it. He’s never felt so powerful; he feels like he can do almost anything. 

Avian knows he ought to be better than the both of them; he’s stronger, faster and bolder than all of them. Obi-Wan’s too old, he is losing his edge and Anakin is too reckless, too carefree and cares way too much. He does not have such weakness. With a mirthless smile on his face, he climbs up on the rocky structures as the sun of Mustafar which is almost useless stands in the backdrop. Near the lip of it, it leads to a ten feet fall with no guarantee of life. The magma bubbles inside and the heat radiate into their exposed part of their skin; they jump once more onto the metal platforms. Anakin performs a backflip that would have made even the most flexible of gymnastics jealous; Obi-Wan follows suit and they land upon the highest of dune. 

“Surrender, Avi,” Anakin says, his voice filled with hope despite all the horrors and atrocities he has committed, “ there is still time to turn back,”

“If you do so any further, you will only cement your downfall,” Obi-Wan warns.

Avian ignores it. In a leap of faith, he attempts to kill both Anakin and Obi-Wan. A misplaced hope, a foolhardy move - Obi-Wan abandons all his principles of light and lands for a strike that cuts his arm and leg. Anakin gasps in shock but does not argue as he watched his older brother tumble down as the clothing of his robe brushes against the lava. Heart-wrenching screams fill their ears but Obi-Wan holds him back. His mechanical hand covers his mouth as his ocean blue eyes glisten with tears. His other arm, which is even more swollen, with splashes of purple and blue spreading like watercolor and begins to bleed with red from being seared by one of Avian’s strikes. He bleeds in penance and Obi-Wan leads him away from the scene. 

But the pained cries of agony and the shrieks proclaiming hatred still echoes in his head like a haunting nightmare. He doesn’t want to leave him there; he shouldn’t have.

***

Padme’s lips are a dull leaden-blue as she struggles to breathe. She heaves painfully as Anakin cradles her into his arms and leads her into the medbay inside the ship. Pulling over an oxygen mask and leaving a med-droid to monitor her vitals, he reluctantly leaves to meet with Obi-Wan. They have agreed to meet with Yoda and Senator Organa. Her face now overtaken by a deathly pallor as her eyes flutter open although unfocused. She struggles to speak. 

“It’s okay, my love,” Anakin says despite the terror in his heart. Lank curls spread across the pillow as he traces against the ridges of his fingers with his mechanical hand and savors what little feeling he could salvage from it. The reassurance is more for him than her as he feels a little selfish. He has failed to save the two people he loved the most. The image of Avian burning is permanently carved into his memory and every moment he thinks about it makes him retch and dry-heave. He softly whispers reassurances as strokes the side of her head. His heart feels so heavy with love and it makes his throat feel tight.

She doesn’t speak but he could practically feel the love and concern radiating for him. She closes her eyes and loses consciousness again. Anakin leaves, seeing Obi-Wan sitting near the controls. They don’t exchange many words, too preoccupied with their thoughts. They reach Polis Massa and he practically is glued to Padmé’s side. Obi-Wan finally convinces him to get his hand checked out although he feels as if he deserves the pain as a mark of his failure. His left hand crushed into shards of bones and the droids say it may need surgery to heal. He refuses and retracts the arms away from the droid and once again asks about Padmé. Eventually, he does go under after the pain has become too much for him to handle - dark circles under his eyes after spending sleepless nights next to his beloved but getting no sort of reply from her.

***

Padmé goes into labor early; she does not make it at the end. She loses far too much blood and passes away almost immediately after the birth of the twins. However, she manages to name them -  _ Luke and Leia as Anakin and she have discussed a long time ago when discussing having children after the war _ \- they are tiny and fragile, round and red-faced as they scream upon entering the world. Luke, the oldest of the set, is slightly smaller than his sister with eyes as blue as the skies of Tatooine. Leia, born just a few minutes later, shares the dark brown eyes of her mother with a small tuft of chocolate brown hair. 

“Separate them, we must,” Yoda says gravely, “Let the Emperor find them, we cannot allow. Blackmail the young Skywalker, he might,”

“We should ask Anakin first,” Obi-Wan says sharply as silence floods the room. Deep down, they all know that Anakin will never agree to this. Senator Organa watches from the distance as his fingers stroke his beard.

“I’ll adopt Leia if Knight Skywalker agrees,” Bail says, “Breha and I always wanted a baby girl,”

“Tell him, we cannot,” Yoda says, his tone mum, “Agree to this, Young Skywalker never will,”

“As of far, he’s the  _ legal  _ guardian of the twins,” Bail replies, gesturing to particularly nothing, “We can’t do anything without his permission,” 

They sit in silence as they begin weighing their choices.

***

As expected of Master Yoda and to much of Obi-Wan’s chagrin, Anakin refuses stubbornly as his eyes flares with defiance upon remotely suggesting the idea. He cradles Luke and Leia close to his chest, their faces nuzzled against his neck as he protectively hides them under his large cloak draped over his shoulders. The infants are fast asleep, unaware of the tension radiating from their father, feeling safe under their father’s warm embrace. His left hand is bandaged in a thick white cast as the babies rest on the crook of his elbow and on his chest; he hums softly whenever they make a noise of disturbance or unrest - _ a melody he often noticed him singing during the beginning days of his apprenticeship _ \- the man has taken himself to the role of a father. The news of Padmé’s death is still a fresh wound as he avoids it unless it has anything to do with her funeral arrangements. Officially, the public knows it as her child has passed away along with her. He’s preparing to leave for Naboo tomorrow just to see his angel one last time before the weight that she is truly gone crushes him entirely.

“Anakin, you surely understand that the safety of your children is at risk here,” Obi-Wan attempts to appease but only to be met with coldness from the man.

“I do,” Anakin says softly, “More than you realize but separating them would be cruel,”

His expression darkens as the dim lighting of the waiting room casts shadows under his eyes. He looks so tired - he has refused to sleep or eat after he comes to know of what happened to Padmé. A couple of times, Obi-Wan tricks him into eating a ration bar by saying it is for the children. He never lets go of the two infants, constantly glued to his side as if it is the only thing that mattered to him.

“I don’t want them to become a Jedi,” Anakin trails softly, “I’m not going to deprive them of attachments or love and turn out like Avian because they did not feel important enough or second to someone. They’ll be raised by me -  _ together _ ,” 

Obi-Wan rubs his temples in a poor attempt to get rid of the throbbing headache that threatens to come over him. Anakin strides firmly forward as he lays the baby into a small cot provided by the medical centre and packs up what remains of his belongings into a bag as he prepares to leave for Naboo.

“Anakin, wait!” Obi-Wan calls out, the younger man stops in his tracks.

“How about this - I’ll take Luke to Tatooine to Beru and Owen and take care of him from afar - I’ll bring him back to you if we find another way,” Obi-Wan begins, “You can take Leia to Aldeeran - Bail Organa can adopt her for official reasons but you can be her father,”

Anakin agrees although reluctant but only due to the fact that Obi-Wan will be with Luke, “Alright but no funny business,” 

“May the Force be with you, old friend,” Obi-Wan says, his smile radiant against his face.

“May the Force be with you too,” Anakin says as he gives one last peck on Luke’s forehead and squeezing the small boy’s pudgy hands and carefully lays him on Obi-Wan’s arms.

***

Her once luscious curls lay lankly against her pale skin with white lilies - a sign of mourning in Naboo- are wound into her locks. She wears a deep velvety royal blue gown that covers up until her toes. Her lips are a dull-leaden blue only to be covered by a pink lip gloss that heightens her alabaster skin. Her chest is still with no movement at all as her midsection is bulging to show that she has died along with her children. The whole of Naboo mourns for their beloved queen; the sky overcast and grey with clouds storming near the heart of the funeral. Many have come to show their farewells as they crowd behind rows of durasteel railings that separate the path that the mournful parade walks. The animals’ tail swishes and brushes against the tiled floor as Padmé’s carriage comes forward. Tiny white lights are lit in memorial of her as the citizens crane their heads to get one last look at the Senator. Anakin does not find himself standing in the parade, opting to watch from the distance with little Leia curled in his arms. He watches so many of Padmé’s friends and acquaintances and relatives trail before her with a solemn, mournful look on their faces. He watches, standing like a ramrod, his eyes glisten under the white lantern in front of his face. Leia wakes up and coos at him, waving her pudgy arms in front of her face as if trying to get his attention. His large eyes in a color of burnt sienna - her mother’s eyes, his beloved’s eyes - he bitterly reminds himself. A large knot bursts in his throat and lets the warm tears flow on his face and earns a mystified but sorrowful look from Leia. He cradles the baby closer, near to his neck and lets himself let out a choked sob.

  
  


A part of him wants revenge but his mind reminds him of a promise he has made just a few months ago to one of the most important figures in his life - _ what would Leia think of him _ \- it only leads him to feel more shame of his temper and vengeful tendencies. Leia grabs his fingers, cooing as if she is trying to comfort her father as her large brown eyes gawk into his own. A burst of warm protective love burns in his heart and he promises that he’ll make this a better place for both his children and a tribute to Padmé’s memory.

  
  


The next few days make Anakin feel as if he has aged a thousand years. Alderaan’s royal family announces an adoption of  _ his  _ baby girl - for some reason, he feels anger course through him, feeling jealous that he has to hide his own child - he buries it away upon watching the little girl from afar as she blows a raspberry at him and giggles. Deep in his heart, he knows that Leia loves him despite the short time they have spent together. Breha Organa cradles the small girl as dark lashes fall over her eyes and immediately drift into slumber. They place her in a bassinet as Anakin observes from afar. Bail Organa coos at the little girl draped in a deep blue cloth - Anakin already knows the man simply adores his little girl- it gives him a small comfort that Leia will be raised in a safe environment unlike him. He pushes down the painful memories that struggle to resurface and focuses on staying in now and there.

“She’ll be in good hands,” Bail reassures, the larger, elder man places a hand over his shoulder as Anakin bows and buries his arms deeper into the cloak.

  
  


“I know,” he says softly, his heart softening upon seeing Leia cuddled with a small tooka doll as her tiny, chubby arms grip its legs.

***

“Anakin Skywalker still runs free,” Palpatine’s gravelly voice makes Vader’s heart stop.

  
  


“He’s the biggest threat to our power,” Vader notes.

  
  


“We can’t let him run free,” Palpatine says, “Capture him - alive or  _ dead _ ,”

  
  


***

Padmé has already set the groundwork for the Rebellion. Anakin expands on it. It starts as a small whisper as people begin to notice the outrageous behavior of the Empire. He recruits a couple of clones who have managed to destroy their cheap - Anakin regrets that he did not believe Fives when he said that. Supreme Commander Skywalker is what people call him as - the whole of _ the Rebellion _ looks at him and says to their members that this is the man that will save them all. Once a Commander, Rex is promoted to General after Anakin’s repeated prompting. They are not a huge faction yet as they still recruit people in. Anakin has not spent a day not thinking about Padmé, her face appears in his dreams, haunting and taunting him about his failures. It is about a few years as Leia has grown into a toddling terror as she speaks with much valiance - her words are sharp and witty - she grows up to look more and more like her mother and yet, she is also much more like him than many realize.

Many sleepless nights are spent on putting together resources and manpower just so they can oppose the Empire. Palpatine rules the galaxy with an iron fist with Darth Vader by his side, his scowling mask is a symbol of fear and a simple breath from his respirator could strike terror in the hearts of the innocents. Only he is the one who has the bravery to openly show his defiance for he knows who he truly is under that dark mask. Anakin spends many missions fighting the _ Inquisitors _ as he is clad in a dark tight suit that masks his identity as his golden locks flow and swish with every move he makes and his Force sensitivity makes him a force to be reckoned with.  _ The Inquisitors  _ are basically Palpatine’s acolytes - they are more talk than action - they are pretty easy to defeat. With easy bantering, he could easily get them flustered and remains as an ever-elusive target and valuing up to a bounty of _ a hundred million credits _ . He feels much betrayal from Palpatine; he once trusted that man with all his life and defended him to his last breath. He shudders as he thinks about a world where he takes the moniker of Darth Vader, committing crimes in the name of justice and order.

***

Tatooine is a world of sand and drab, there is no such thing as law. All the scum and villainy gather here to concoct criminal schemes and bounty hunters try and expand their profits. At the age of four, Luke has learnt to fly marvellously although he is still illiterate. He can fix anything and has a knack for droids like his father. He gets overly sweetened versions of his father’s experiences as he goes through scrap and needle for even the littlest information of his father. However, according to his aunt and uncle, he is more like his mother. Luke does not remember much of his mother other than vague feelings and the image of a woman who hides her sadness behind her indulgent veneer. It comes in fleeting memories and he can never truly make it out. He clings onto even the smallest scrap of his father’s exploits - he idolizes him. 

His aunt, Beru, is a petite woman with blonde hair pulled into a bun; she is one of the prettiest women he has seen. She is also incredibly smart and compassionate and takes some time on teaching him how to read. Uncle Owen is a gruff, no-nonsense man who hides his love under a tough exterior; only his aunt and himself have ever truly seen him show his doting love that is as large as the mythical waterfalls in the Tatoonian tales that his aunt reads him before bedtime. Then, there is old Ben Kenobi whom Uncle Owen asks him to stay away from. He is a funny man as his copper hair begins to grey as wrinkles from the constant exposure of the sun graces his face but his cerulean eyes remain as bright as the two shining suns of Tatooine. Although most kids are mean to old Ben, there is something captivating about the man. Some whisper that he is a strange sort of magician,  _ a wizard _ , but he is a kind man with many stories to tell him. He once even saved him from the Tusken Raiders when he wandered off from the homestead into the wild. Uncle Owen cuddles, bringing him closer and whispers how  _ worried  _ he was as Aunt Beru bursts into tears and thanks him fervently. Nevertheless, he is asked to keep a distance from the man.

His uncle calls him as the little boy scampers to answer his call, leaving his toys on the lawn. Obi-Wan Kenobi watches him from the distance with bated breath.

***

In the grand scheme of things, Leia is small. She turned sixteen a few days ago and the festivities were huge. She never liked it. Her father says that he gets that from her birth father. Her _real_ ~~adopted~~ father, Bail Organa has told her that both of her parents have lost their lives near the end of the Clone Wars. When she was younger, she sometimes overhears them whispering about something but deep down, she knows it's something about her birth parents. As a young girl, she is much unlike the princess that many expected to be. She has a temper that should not be trifled with and is an excellent mechanic. Over the years, she has much forgotten those skills as she opts to serve her planet with the princess they deserve. She hears her mother say that her birth father is good at it but she digresses. Bail Organa is her real father and no one can replace him. Elected  _ Senator  _ recently, she speaks valiantly in the Senate and is definitely a force to be reckoned with despite her young age. She also recently finds a place within the Rebellion and retrieves information from the moles inside the Senate. Her father has told her that they will be receiving a guest tonight, she walks down the boundless staircase to the entrance of her palace. The grandeur of the place still takes her breath away up until this day and she notices three people,  _ two men and a togruta _ , walking into the palace as they hold their breath while taking in the awe-inspiring sights.

“This is Commander Skywalker, General Rex and General Tano,” Her father introduces as they nod upon being introduced.

Commander Skywalker is a tall man, his skin slightly tanned and has the brightest of blue eyes. General Rex is a  _ clone _ , she recognizes, he has tawny skin and dark eyes but what differs him from other clones is that he has curls of bright blonde hair, in a lighter shade of Skywalker’s. General Tano’s lekkus are long with beautiful white markings against her orange skin. She looks at them for a while, from what she knows they are few of the main players in the Rebellion. She watches her father escort them away from the prying eyes of the public and deep into the palace. She bows to them as a sign of respect, picking up her white gown as she is taught by her mother and curtseys. They fumble as if three of them are rather out of touch with practical manners and bow. Her father, then, asks them to drop the formalities and they walk into a meeting room.

It is one of the first times that her father has allowed her into a meeting on the Rebellion. He often asks her to stay out of it for the sake of her safety. Nevertheless, she has managed to sneak into them a couple of times only to get a dressing down by him later. She knows they care very much and they are her real parents but there are nights she wonders how her birth parents would have treated her. She remembers having vague memories of her birth father - she knows he is a brave man and remembers his protective warmth and feels a sense of dread and reluctance; she never understood what it is for but she can only hope sometimes. She can feel the three radiating with unease and vigilance; it is another gift she has gotten - the ability to understand others’ feelings and needs with only a look. Her mother often has told her not to reveal it to people. The meeting goes on as she sits quietly in the corner, observing the four. She realizes Commander Skywalker is not a man to mince his words - he is often blunt, harsh and even reckless - he focuses much on saving everyone immediately rather than taking advanced moves and work for a common result. General Tano seems to shield many things with an aura radiating serenity and calmness. However, she immediately recognizes it as a facade from her body language. General Rex seems to carry a huge sorrow and weight on his back, harboring guilt for something he did not do.

Later, she finds herself walking towards the balcony garden to observe the room and finds Commander Skywalker staring longingly at the stars. He is not clad in the large cloak like he had been when he entered the room but instead, something she has seen in old storybooks of the Jedi.

“You were a Jedi, weren’t you?” Her voice is dangerously cautious and low. With her limited knowledge, she knows their power comes from the Force. Some say they are unnatural, moving too fast, too quiet, and in general,  _ unnerving _ .

Skywalker nods slowly, “You are perceptive, aren’t you, little one?”

Leia puffs her cheek in indignation, flustered, “I’m Princess Leia of Alderaan and a Senator and definitely  _ not  _ a little one,”

“I know,” he says, eyes misting, “ Leia is a name I wanted to give to my daughter,”

“It means  _ essential  _ in Alderaan,” she says shortly as the man’s aura radiates with melancholy.

“From where I came from, it means  _ rain _ ,” he replies softly. 

Something about this man makes something in her unravel, reminding her of a time when she was younger and freer. However, she tries to keep her uptight posture as she eyes the man warily. Her father trusts him enough but she feels that he is hiding something vital from her. She is not sure what but it is a tingling feeling that creeps up from her stomach and makes her innards tickle.

“I thought Jedi are forbidden to marry,” Leia replies, “Or was it just a brief affair?”

He gives a mirthless laugh, his bright eyes grow dimmer and anger resurfaces, making the man seem dark. His expression softens and he finally says, “Yes, the Jedi are forbidden to marry but I secretly married anyway,”

Leia looks chastised, her wide eyes filled with horror, “ You broke the rules?”

“I would do anything for her. I would tear down the world if I need to,” Skywalker’s face darkens momentarily, “but I made a promise long time ago to another person important in my life that I will not,” 

Leia’s curiosity piques. She prompts, “So, what about them?”

“My wife is a strong, beautiful woman,” he says, “in hindsight, we did rush our marriage but I do not regret it. Her smile is so radiant that she makes me feel giddy and her love still burns so deep and sometimes, it hurts to think that she was taken away so soon. But, when was life ever fair? The other is my brother - back when we were younger, it was always me and him in the war until we grew distant and- ,”

Leia does not dare to prompt him any further.

  
  


“You’re Force Sensitive,” it is more of a statement than a question, his eyebrow quirked up and holds a serene expression that she knows is not befitting of him.

  
  


“I’m what?” she asks, disbelief coloring her tone.

“Force-Sensitive - the Force is what gives the Jedi their power and you have that potential,” Skywalker says, “It explains why you can feel people’s emotions,”

“Wait, are you trying to imply my father is a-?” Leia begins, feeling suddenly very shocked.

“No,” Skywalker cuts, “Your birth father might possibly be a Jedi but he is most probably killed in the purges,”

“Do you know him?” Leia asks, hopeful.

“Yeah,” Skywalker says off-handedly, however, Leia gets the feeling that it brings up great hurt and sorrow in the man and decides to drop the subject.

“Alright, I’ll take my leave. Now if you excuse me,” Leia asks, feeling low as the new revelation brings up many feelings that require to be processed. The man does not stop her at all as he opts to stare blankly out of the window with yearnful eyes.

  
  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please consider leaving kudos and comments please :)


	11. interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anakin and vader have a round two. vader is angry.

Anger shakes Vader to his very core, bubbling as he lets the tendrils of darkness engulf his mind. He sees the face that he has not seen in a long time as his yellow eyes under his mask flashes, he attempts to breathe hard but his mask does not allow him to. The man had left him to burn under the fiery pits of the hellish planet called  _ Mustafar  _ \- he spits out its name like it is something vile and poisonous- he stares at the man before him with an unnaturally still posture. Anakin, to his credit, attempts to look foreboding but his emotions are written all over his face, broadcasting it to his surroundings. His cerulean eyes betray his fear and love; he is a fool to even think that there is good left in him. 

  
  


He closes his eyes and remembers the splintering agony.

  
  


_ The medical droids rip his blackened skin, which is burnt to crisp. Pain sparks, blurring his mind as he gasps for air under the mask. They are operating without anesthetics - it hurts so much and he wants to break something so desperately and tear of the limbs of those stupid droids but he can’t as if his connection to the Force has been halved. He can barely focus on anything - all he could think about it is the pure, unadulterated pain that courses through him and blurs the period of time and space. His breathing quickens but his chest feels deprived of it, something in him craves for the sweet release of death - to put an end to his suffering - he deserves after all the atrocities he has committed. He slaps himself quickly and buries the thought deep within as his chest burns for air.  _

  
  


_ He could feel limbs but he knows it's no longer there, they are unresponsive to even his most desperate commands. He is in agony, sparks of pain climbs up and renders him useless as he screams out what is left of his vocal cords. His back arches and his chest aches and burns from the lack of air in his lungs;  _ _ he wishes it is just a nightmare but he knows this is a reality. His heart rate quicks as he wants to rip out the droids but the tingling of the Force is absent as if he has halved his potential after the battle. He feels utterly useless against the cold press of the operating table as the lights glare into his unfocused eyes under his blistered lids. Blood rushes to his ears as the smell of plastic synthetic skin permeates and makes him strangely nauseous. He wants to end his sweet misery but he deserves — oh, he can’t take it anymore. He wants it to stop. Stop. Stop. _

  
  


_ His pleas go unheard as he resigns to his fate, enclosed in his black coffin as the heart monitor beeps flat. He is resuscitated just a second later and the last remnants of his old life are destroyed and shattered to bits. _

  
  
  


He took everything away from him _ —  _

  
  
  


With renewed fuel, he ignites his crimson blade as Anakin ignites his own blue one. He once considered him his brother; no, he is never his brother. His head sings it like a chilling mantra as his blood runs cold upon seeing the misplaced love and trust that bubbles from the man. He knows Anakin is loath to admit that his brother, Avian no longer inhibits the body and that all his good has been drained away and hardens himself to a life of power and significance. He is just another stupid Jedi for him to eradicate. However, the power that pulses within his vein entices him - the sheer strength he exudes is enough to turn Sidious head over heels; he would make a great apprentice. Anakin’s emotion bubbles to his chest like potassium to water. He hardens his gaze as they begin their starting stance. The battle starts not with a bang but a slick slide. 

  
  


Blue and red meet as Anakin’s pleading eyes meet with his vengeful ones. 

  
  


_ Come back. Please. _

  


__ He’s begging. Oh, how dependent he is on others and still is. He has managed to rekindle their bond which Avian allows as he looks blank into the ocean-like eyes that gush with emotions. The anger that festers in him against Sidious is delicious like an earthquake shaking the ground so hard that causes the buildings to collapse or a ravaging tsunami that swallows everything in his way. He’s so  _ raw  _ and  _ untamed —  _ the power he holds would taste sweet, adding spice to their success. It sounds so intoxicating and heady; it leaves a tangy aftertaste in his mouth. 

  
  


_ We don’t need to be adversaries. Join me. Sidious awaits you. _

  
  


_ No. _

  
  


He’s such a simpleton to view the world in blacks and whites; he has not changed much since Mustafar. Their blades lock in earnest as they hiss softly before letting out a piercing roar. Anakin unleashes another flurry of attacks, his eyebrows knit in concentration as he breathes hard with shaking anger. He imposes a part of his bulk over his scarlet blade as it crackles in his ear as Anakin conduits the Force through him to bolster his push. Anakin finally pushes Vader back as Anakin flips back, narrowly avoiding the lightsaber from contacting his skin as his own blade leaves yellow marks on the durasteel floor. The omnipresent scowl in his mask hides his twisted expressions on his face. Despite Anakin’s stalwart expression, he can feel the fear and righteous anger that bleeds from him. His Force signature pulses, burning like an exploding star with its scattered mass still hot to touch and leaves a watercolor of colors that captivates even the most hardened. 

  
  


“You don’t need to do this,” He asks _ — begs.  _ His pleading eyes leave no indent on his hardened soul as he mercilessly attacks with his vermillion blade to which Anakin defends. However, he never attacks him.  _ An optimistic fool  _ \- the biggest one he has ever seen in his life as he cuts through the air as static screeches in his ears and lets the adrenaline pump to what is remaining of his body.

  
  


“I do,” His voice strengthens but his modulator does not pick up how spiteful it is and presents it in its irritating monotone. He swings his lightsaber in momentum and attempts to hit Anakin but to be met with his blue blade. White lights blind them temporarily as Anakin uses the Force to push him back. He asks him to see reason but he does not see any other path as he attacks ruthlessly and channels all his anger into his every strike and puts up his best.

  
  


Nonetheless, they are still evenly matched. And, that fact sends him in a blood-chilling frenzy against the younger man to which he keeps up.  _ It is impressive. Most impressive.  _ He never says it out loud though he does need to fuel the ego of the man. He is callous and remorseless; Anakin does not seem to notice that as he is too wrapped up in his dream of saving him. He does not need saving; his old self is a disillusioned fool. Avian Skywalker is dead. Passed away a long time ago right after he is confined to this god-forsaken suit. He is left to die and burn. Why does he care so suddenly when he is inclined to go with _ Obi-Wan Kenobi?  _ It only fuels his hatred as it resurfaces, burning his throat and tastes oddly like bile. He unleashes his relentless attacks as Anakin parries with a deadly grace that he has not witnessed him doing since the Clone Wars.

  
  


He is holding back for him for so long. It feels so good to see his anger clouding his judgment; it festers in him and tastes so succulent. Vader goes into the battle, feeling sated, as he switches forms with liquid fluidity. Anakin is skilled in his lightsaber kata but Vader knows he is even more so. He has become a wicked duellist under the watchful eyes of Palpatine as he trains to focus on his hatred and pain. It replenishes itself ever so often and that is what makes it so efficient. He is cold and calculated, doing a little jab here and another there just to test the waters before going in with full force and unleashes a torrent of relentless attacks to see if Anakin struggles to keep up. His glee is masked under his permanent scowl as the exhilaration of battle instils a sense of power and pain. He dominates using his bulk and weight and tries to wear the man down. The Force makes up for what he misses as Vader twirls, narrowly avoiding the blue blade that threatens to sear his abdomen. Anakin growls, his face splintering into anger -  _ so unbecoming of a Jedi _ , he tuts through their bond - his frustration is simply flavorsome until he manages to lay a cut on his shoulders. Vader lets out a short but gut-wrenching scream of pain as he sinks deeper into it and seizes it.

  
  


“I know my brother is in there somewhere _ — _ ” The sentiment grosses Vader out as he lunges forward in an attempt to slice his legs off. Anakin jumps high into the air and lands right behind him and tries to disarm him. But, he fails miserably.

  
  


“Playing sneaky, are we?” he taunts as he attempts to inflict a cut upon the man but he summons some debris up from the top and both escape it narrowly. Vader manages to pin Anakin down but his cyan lightsaber holds his own red one from slicing right into his neck.

  
  


“Tell me where the Rebel base is or if there are any surviving Jedi?” Vader demands.

  


Anakin spits a bit of blood and rebukes, “No,”

  
  


His fury doubles (  _ ‘Good, good,’ he could hear Sidious coach, ‘let it flow through you. Use it,’ _ ) and he listens to that piece of advice as Vader presses down his lightsaber a little more and feels his shoulder wound burn - he uses that as fuel too.

  
  


He uses his free hands and lets imaginary fingers crush his windpipe while not causing lasting damage, “Tell me now,”

  
  


Anakin coughs and says, “Nope. Not at all,”

  


“ _ Insolence _ ,” He raises his voice under his mask, however, Anakin does not display even a speck of fear. He releases his grip and Anakin lets a powerful Force push that catches Vader off-guard and pushes him back. He blinks once, twice. Dust begins to settle all over. When it clears, he is  _ gone _ .

  
  


Another failure. Yet another failure. Failure. _ Failure.  _ **_Failure!_ **

  


***

  


“Oh my, it bleeds from you like an open wound. It’s so _—_ ” Palpatine’s ugly face twists into an expression of sick pleasure. 

  
  


His expression changes almost immediately into rueful but Vader continues bowing in front of his master, “You have failed me again, Vader. The elusive man slips from our grip again. Such a shame - he is indeed better than you - he is stronger, more powerful and much wiser than  _ you _ ,”

  
  


_ “Stop!”  _ roars Vader but he realizes he has made a grave, grave error.

  
  


His suit - he’s shut off the oxygen -  _ nonononono _ . He struggles to breathe as his chest aches and yearns for oxygen. Palpatine cackles sadistically, deriving pleasure while putting up a look of mock sympathy. His brain blurs as stars dance in front of his vision as black dots begin to obscure his vision and threaten to close. He feels the burn in his chest worsening every second; his chest tightens as a panicked whimper escapes from him. He tries to keep his eyes wide open as fear coils around his throat like a slithering serpent threatening to choke him. Palpatine’s beady eyes watch him from up above, like a larger than life god and there is a sickly sort of pleasure in him as he bares his rotten, yellowing teeth. 

  
  


“I’m sorry, Master,” he chokes in between ragged breaths.

  


“Sith Lords don’t feel sorry, Vader,” Palpatine’s gaze hardens, his wrinkles becoming more pronounced against his white skin, “But, such insolence won’t be tolerated. I’ll allow your oxygen if you don’t repeat this incident again,”

  
  
  


“Yes...Master,” he coughs weakly.

  
  


Vader crumples to the floor and lets the sweet, crisp air flow through him. The hologram dissipates as he is left incarcerated by nothing but his own tormenting thoughts as he recalls all those years ago. It fills him with so much rage, scorching what is left of his body and he breaks the comm until next to him into shards of glass and metal that gleams pitifully against the harsh lighting coming from his meditation chamber. 

  


***

Anakin returns to Alderaan with a grim expression as he sneaks away from the prying, watchful eyes of the public by climbing up the white-painted parapet which the vines crawl and climb across and weave into intricate patterns. He climbs into the gardens in which verdant grass covers the lawn with beige tiles cutting across, creating a winding pathway into the palace. Flowers of all colors are speckled across as the wind gently ruffles through them. An artificial fountain stands with water gushing through its pipes; the first time Anakin saw it during a function in Alderaan; he is immediately taken in at all the water that is there - “ _ Obi-Wan, there is so much water like enough to drink and swim and do almost anything _ ” he says with wide awe-inspired eyes - he walks through the familiar path as he brings out a much vital intel to the Rebellion. They are planning to build a weapon of mass destruction; it has the power to destroy planets and wipe out systems.

  
  


“You’re here awfully early,” Leia’s lips purse tightly as her eyebrows quirk up. 

  
  


Anakin pauses for a moment, trying to find the answer to the girls’ snippy reply. He says lowly, “I need to talk with your father,”

  
  


As much as it pains him to say that, he knows it needs to be done. Leia is his daughter. He is Leia’s father. Yoda has asked him to keep that truth as it might as well, bring up many questions that are far too pressing for them to answer. While they hide in exile, he buries himself in the work of Rebellion and dedicates himself to the memory of Padmé. Luke is in Tatooine, he reminds himself once and every while, the only fact that comforts him that he is under the watchful eyes of Obi-Wan. It is not that he does not trust Owen and Beru Lars but he knows how harsh and unrelenting Tatooine can be. Memories resurface and he lets a small bitter sound out of his mouth. He taps his foot in impatience as Leia reappears with Bail Organa standing at the girl’s side. Leia admires Bail and that much he can say. The girl clearly adores the tall man, looking at him with her wide brown eyes and smiling at him whenever their eyes meet. None of that is directed to him; he imagines a world where none of this has happened. His family is together away from the slimy hands of Palpatine and Leia would look at him with the same adoring look on her face - and Luke, would not be in Tatooine but in the safe loving arms of his beloved Padmé. 

  
  


“Anakin,” Bail greets, “Brought us any ill tidings?”

  
  


Anakin nods, his countenance remains grim, “ _ Project Stardust.  _ They’re moving forward. We tried to steal the kyber crystal or at least destroy it but, we couldn’t,”

  
  


Bail nods understandingly, his neutral expression changes to something that mirror’s Anakin’s distraught expression.

  


***

“I want to tell her,” Anakin says, looking distraught, torn and pained, “That I’m her father but she’s not going to know the circumstances but I want her to know. She’s going to hate me-”

  
  


“At the end of the day, you’re her father,” Bail replies as his expression remains unreadable, “You did this to protect her so she won’t end in the hands of Palpatine and I think she’s ready to know,”

  
  


Anakin licks his lips, as it cracks from dryness as his gaze turns distant as he looks through the windows of the palace.

  
  


“She has fond memories of her birth parents,” Bail prompts, “I think she is mature enough to understand. But, it is your decision in the end if you want to tell her,”

  
  


“I’ll tell her later,” Anakin replies, throat bobbing “Someday but not now, not when she’s near the Emperor,”   
  


  


***

Mercy is a word that he has not heard in a long time. Vader slashes through the rebels like he has no business as his lightsaber scorches through their bodies. He is so desensitized to the crimson liquid, pooling on the floor as he lets his anger bubble in copious amounts and releasing it into every strike and not hesitating to show his hatred to them. He hardens himself to the screams of fear and pain as it reverberates through his head, adding fuel to fire. The red silhouettes his face as he slices and jabs without breaking a sweat. His respirator provides a steady cadence to his breathing - it instills fear in the hearts of many that even the smallest sound that resembles this would send a prickle of fear in their hearts. The Rebels’ eyes are wide with terror as their hands shake. Their pitiful attempts to shoot him down are only met with his blade, ricocheting right into their bodies as they tumble backs with pain shooting their region of injury.

  
  


The last of them plead with him for mercy. His wide watery eyes are the embodiment of his power as fear flits through his orbs as his hands shake. His blaster is already surrendered on the floor _ —  _ he clasps his arms to show his vulnerability as desperation colors his voice. Vader feels almost sorry for the man but the lightsaber in his arm still sings for more  _ bloodshed _ . He does the final blow, beheading the man and he clatters to the floor against the wall. Vader leaves the room and lets the stormtroopers gawk before they arrest those who are still alive for interrogation.  _ Show no mercy,  _ he could hear Sidious laughing in his ears as his raspy voice grates his ears. Vader’s respirator hitches as the inflection of his vocal modulator changes upon giving his command to bring in their prisoners into their prisons. 

  
  


  


  
  
  


  


  
  


  
  


  


  


  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	13. the light at the end of the tunnel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're at new hope whooo

“Where’s the Rebel base?” Vader’s mechanical breathing fills the air as Princess Leia, despite her stalwart expression, desperately tries to remember her shielding lessons from Anakin. She feels bile burn the back of her throat as her large brown eyes stare into the mask that homes an omnipresent scowl that sends a shiver down even the most bravest of men. However, she remains brave as she thinks about her parents back in Alderaan and her people whom she is fighting for a better life. Looking at the man before her, she feels righteous anger festering, burning its way to her throat. Her mind screams but she keeps quiet, frozen by her hidden fears. Vader stands with a dangerous air around him, showing no signs of boredom or anger; his breathing echoes in her ears and the cold air caresses against the skin that is exposed above her collar - she studies the black that resembles obsidian and pushes down the fear that threatens to engulf her. 

“I won’t tell you,” she says with her trademark obstinence, her eyebrows furrow slightly as if she is attempting to glare down the lord. Vader remains unfazed, unperturbed and it sends a strange sort of shudder through her body. It takes all her willpower to try not to scramble away as the man’s breathing begins to grate her nerves. Fear begins to rise but her eyes burn with determination to show no sort of weakness in front of the man. She does not care whether it fuels the man or not but she must not lose her face. Officers clad in faded bottle green uniform stand behind him, their necks held high in a show of respect to Vader. It feels as if in their minds that they are silently happy about her incarceration; their minds revealing a strange sort of slimy triumph of her capture. Maybe, she is not all that good with hiding but she needs to focus on the feature. Desperation claws at her to escape but her strong-willed glare and haughtiness do not falter as a way to keep up her facade as Senator.

Leia notices a sudden change in the Force. Vader leaves, his cape billowing, and the white-armored men grab her arm and haul her up. They force her out of her holding cell into the bridge of the  _ Executor _ . The halls are sterile and patrolled, the footfall of the guards next to her echoes in her ears as she stares at the viewscreen. They are in front of Alderaan, she learns quickly. Grand Moff Tarkin stands - his skeletal face holds a sickly smile as he eyes her. Vader’s expression continues to remain a mystery but Leia is much more focused on the older man in the room - if Vader is even younger than him. Vader’s age has always remained a mystery; some assume he is older than sixty while others speculate that he is in his late-thirties, the early forties. However, this is not the time to muse over the ages of military officers, she sucks in a deep breath in an attempt to release her inner turmoil grinding her innards into a fine powder. 

“Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader on leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought aboard,” She says callously, the slight furrow of her eyebrow shows her disgust and hatred for the man before her.

  
  


“Charming to the last,” Distaste colors the Governor’s nasal voice, “ You don't know how hard I found it signing the order to terminate your life!”

“I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself,” she sasses, burying her fear deep under her facade of hardness and pleads to the pantheon of goddesses of Alderaan to save her and her people. A bad feeling brews from the pit of her stomach as she continues the conversation and she prays the hardest she ever has in her short life span.

  
  


***

“I’m going!” Anakin’s voice contains a striking finality as his countenance contorts into a one of distress and anger. He balls his fists by his side as Bail widens his eyes upon the sudden outburst. Anakin tries to keep himself calm, mumbling reassurances under his breath. The recent news has shaken Anakin right to his core and he pleads with the Force to show mercy. _ She can’t have. She couldn’t have.  _ His expression contorts to display the myriad of emotions that bubble satisfyingly in his chest. Nevertheless, they are a source of discomfort, making his chest feel tight and making him feel useless.

“Anakin, surely, you must see reason; you are only going to make it worse,” Bail tries to placate, his expression displaying fake calmness “ We’ll send attack squadrons for her. You can’t go. You are a high profile Jedi and you will blow her cover,”

  
  


“She’s my daughter!” Anakin insists -  _ pleads  _ \- as he steadies his voice, but the tremble in his voice doesn’t fade, “I have no idea how my son is and she - I promised to protect her. I can’t let her go like that. I worked far too much for it. It doesn’t matter if I get caught or executed, I want  _ her  _ back,”

Silence comes. His ocean blue eyes radiate with pain as he blurts his words, looking close to crying. He can’t lose her. He can’t. His mind goes into a repetitive spiral but he breathes to calm himself down. He cannot lose his cool, he can’t. He shouldn’t. Bail looks stricken as he frowns, wrinkles creasing his forehead and looking as if he has aged a millennium. Anakin’s eyes are pleading as Bail looks at the younger man as if a piece of horrible, horrible news has dawned upon his face. Worry spilling freely onto his expression, his politician mask is utterly, completely destroyed. Anakin has broken him - he feels slightly guilty over it but he focuses on the mission one hand. Bail sighs, exhaling a huge weight on his chest. Anakin looks at him squarely. 

“She is; to some extent, she is also mine, too,” Bail admits, sounding vulnerable as his expression changes into one of resignation. There is a pause as if he’s attempting to create a dramatic effect, “There is not a day I go not worrying for her but you aren’t fit for this mission,”

“I failed my mother! I failed Avian! I failed  Padmé! But, I’m not gonna fail Leia,” Anakin asserts, trembling as Bail winces upon the sudden increase in volume. Anakin doesn’t want to fail anyone anymore, he has lost too many people in his life to let him go. He clenches his fist, tension curling around his heart. There is a lump in his throat, enlarging with every word he speaks. His throat bobs in discomfort.

Bail studies the man for a moment, weighing his choices. After a pregnant pause, he finally relents to the younger man’s plan. He finally says, “Alright. Bring her back, safe,”

***

Anakin watches in the distance with much pain as he feels Alderaan shatter into nothing but sparkles, every living being in it obliterated to nothing but sparks. Cries of terrors shriek in his head and searing pain blinds his vision and for a moment, he only sees white. He takes in a ragged breath, his head still in his hands. The pain in his head ebbs away but the migraine manages to remain as if his head is still on fire. He does not know how to feel as a mixture of feelings bubble in his chest as he knows if he had even been a little late, he would have perished along with them. He tries to centre himself but the closeness of it all makes him shudder as his mind runs through all the scenarios including the one with Leia there. His breathing hitches as he attempts to enter the large space station that stands, sheening under the dim lights of the stars as if it is the only thing that matters in this vast amount of blackness. His eyebrows knit into an omnipresent glower as he makes a silent vow to destroy this station if it is even the last thing he does. 

Anakin manages to sneak in without much of a hitch - his ship is small enough to be overlooked by most of the crew - but he still can’t be too sure. He lands into the hangar, near a TIE fighter; he notices them near another larger ship. It is a piece of junk, Anakin snorts to himself before he attempts to carefully sneak from behind his ship into the nearest exit all while not being spotted by the stormtroopers. He feels Avian’s presence like a dark, gaping hole in the Force, swallowing anything that comes in the way and sucking away the light in a slow and painful manner. He feels Leia, not as bright in the Force, masked under the facade of nothing but another average person in the universe. However, Anakin clings onto it, knowing it is the only way to her. He makes his way through the mechanical terror, his lightsaber hidden under his cloak with his hands straying towards it upon hearing the slightest creak. He quickly manages his ways and sneaks into a small command office and he is met with a couple of screams from the occupants.

“You aren’t imperials,” Anakin’s tone sounds accusing, he hardens his gaze upon looking at the two young men and droids, “Hold on,  _ Artoo _ , is that you?”

The blue R2 unit squeals and rolls towards Anakin. Anakin laughs, patting the dome of the unit and looks at the golden protocol droid, “Threepio, they wiped your memory, didn’t they?” 

“I am C3PO, human-cyborg relations-”

“I know, I know-” Anakin drawls, getting looks of confusion from the two younger men. Threepio stops with much surprise although his golden face betrays no emotion on his face. The two mean exchange a glance, surprise gracing their features. The older one’s posture straightens, his jaw slackens and studies him closer. The younger one looks at him with wide-eyed curiosity and wonder, a trait that is often uncommon in the Rebellion. He looks somewhat near Leia’s age, Anakin notes to himself as the boy comes closer to him.

“You know these droids?” the younger, the one with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes asks, curiosity written clearly over his face.

“Yup, they were my droids,” Anakin replies, patting Artoo’s dome.

The boy frowns, “I thought Artoo belongs to Ben Kenobi,”

“ _ Ben Kenobi _ , now who would that be?” Anakin replies, sarcasm tainting his tone, “He couldn’t have a better code name, could he? No, they were my droids - the old man, he’s just…now, what are your names? Never seen you two around in the rebellion,”

Stars dance in the younger man’s eyes, an inflection of excitement mixes with his tones as he brings his fists under his chin, “You work for the Rebellion? What about the missions? I wanna know! Oh, by the way, I’m Luke Skywalker and the other one there is Han Solo,”

The mention of Skywalker creates a bubble of feelings to lodge itself into the throat. He averts his gaze, his eyes mist. He looks back, keeping his tone even, “I can’t disclose much, I mostly work on networks in Alderaan and make sure missions go smoothly. But, I’ve fought in the Clone Wars. The name’s Ani,” 

“You’ve fought in the Clone Wars?” Luke asks, his eyes widening even more at the mention, “Do you know my father - his name is Anakin Skywalker,”

“Of course, everyone knows him. He’s the  _ Hero with No Fear _ , the greatest Jedi of his age and the poster boy of the Republic,” Anakin replies, dancing over the point, a sense of pride tints his tone. Obi-Wan would never let him live this down but that is what many of the civilians viewed him as so it will do. Luke accepts it as an answer with wide-eyed wonder as he absorbs the information like a sponge in water.

“We’re just about to rescue the Princess,” Luke begins, excitement and wonder draining out his voice. His eyes - blue as the Tatooine’s skies - burns brightly with determination, “It would be great if you would help us; we could use some experience,”

“That’s what I’m here for. I came here to rescue my- I mean  _ Princess Leia _ ,” Anakin corrects himself, now is not the time for a family reunion as much as he wishes for it. He will tell them the truth once they get off this blasted space station with Leia safe and sound away from these nasty  _ sleemos _ . He leads the two droids, his son and their newly-found companion into the detention level.

***

“Anakin. Commander Skywalker. Thank you!” Leia throws herself onto the man before her, resting the bottom on her chin on his shoulders, trying not to sob after learning that the whole of Alderaan had been obliterated into nothing but dust and debris. The scene of the planet bursting replays behind his eyes as he could hear the screams of agony and terror making his brain turn static. Anakin lets the girl sink as he wraps his arms around her and feels as if it is Padmé’s funeral all over again. He lets his hand support her head and just remains silent for her to sort her feelings. He buries his feelings deep and lets the girl shudder a bit and feels a bit of liquid seep into his clothes -  _ he doesn’t mind _ \- she’s his daughter and he has saved her. He has not failed her like he has failed so many people in his life; the girl clings onto him like a lifeline. Her sass and usual hardness have been let go for something of deep sadness that etches into her being, making her seem older than she looks.

“Wait a minute. Ani, you’re  _ Anakin Skywalker _ ?” Luke asks with wide eyes, a momentary surprise passes over his face as his jaws slacken. He drops the rebellion helmet tucked under his arms as the general euphoria he has been experiencing from blowing up the Death Star and bringing a win to the Rebellion vanishes. He blinks for a moment, dumbfounded as Anakin adjusts his posture as his steady gaze meets with Luke’s one.

“Yes, I am,” Anakin admits, still holding Leia tightly -  _ protectively _ , “ Princess Leia, here, is also your sister,”

“I kissed her,” Luke blurts, red creeping onto his face as he looks at Leia with much embarrassment. Leia blushes wildly, her cheeks in the perfect shade of wine. She looks flushed as her brown eyes widen with much shock and embarrassment. Her eyebrows furrow up like the way Padmé does. Warm memories resurface, making him feel warm and loved - it is a feeling he craved and loved to feel - as a love-struck smile appears on his face. Han raises his eyebrows at the sudden goofy expression on Anakin’s face.

Anakin groans, running his fingers through his face. Luke, to his credit, tries to placate the situation although his embarrassment has not quite left him yet. He grimaces, “Obi-Wan didn’t tell you the whole truth, did he? He gave you a certain point of view lecture, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, he did,” Luke admits. There is a sudden change in atmosphere as Anakin feels a bad feeling burn his throat.

Leia breaks away from the hug and looks at him with a hardened expression. His eyebrows furrow as she purses her lips into a thin line, “If you are alive and my father, why weren’t you here for us?”

Her words are like knives, cutting into his conscience and twisting at his soul. Anakin feels her anger scalding him. Her brown eyes - as brown as Padmé’s,  _ his Padmé’s, his beloved’s  _ \- he bites his lip and draws a bit of blood. A tangy, metallic taste graces his tongue as he looks at his daughter.

“I had to, Leia, we didn’t want Sidious or Vader sensing you and taking you as an apprentice. Me taking care of you would have put both of you in a great deal of danger. I was reluctant at first but it is not like I had much of a choice in this matter. It is the only way to keep you both safe,” Anakin tries to placate, his eyes pleading, desperation coloring his face. 

“I need some time to myself,” she says, she sounds not angry but incredibly mixed. Anakin does not stop her and watches her leave the room, leaving Anakin with Luke. 

***

He craves the burn of his emotions, making his throat feel raw. Vader closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath and lets his anger and hatred just scald his conscience, eating away at his remorse and guilt. He’s chained himself to this. He is becoming powerful, isn’t this all he had wanted?  _ Recognition, fame _ \- back when he’s younger, his mother has always told him he’s destined for great things. She is right but he buries the positive feelings that are bubbling. Attachment makes one weak. He can’t hold onto his past, he has a bright future ahead of him. It is all he wanted. The Emperor has brought great things. Power is within his grasp, like a warm fire that burns bright and strong even in the coldest of nights. He meditates as Palpatine has taught him. He focuses on his anger, burning bright in the furnace of where he keeps his emotions.

Something blinks, catching his attention. He commands the system to attach his helmet to his suit. He walks out, his steady breathing echoing within his ears. He kneels down before the pad as a big hologram of the Emperor forms before him. It is a wrinkled old man with dark shadows under his eyes; he looked deathly pale as if on the verge of death. His eyes, however, tell a whole other story. Vader remembers how luminous his eyes are - they are in a bright sulfuric yellow color rimmed with red as if it is blood. He took pleasure in pain, he is sadistic and takes pleasure in the pain of others. He is the one who put him in the god-forsaken suit. The synthetic skin has always felt itchy and he is always in constant pain.

“Failed again, Vader,” his voice is gravelly and sends a shiver down Vader’s spine, “The Death Star blew up. But, I’m not here to punish you,”

A pleasant surprise but he knows he is not quite off the hook yet, he continues to bow, his eyes not meeting with the humongous hologram that hovers above him.

“The boy who blew up the Death Star - his name is Luke Skywalker. He is powerful in the Force. We must recruit him to our cause,” Palpatine explains, a sickly smile appearing on his face, “ If his father won’t join his cause, then we’ll get him in and together, we can overwhelm him. By far, he is the biggest threat to our power. He is much much more powerful than you. He can do many tremendous feats than you and it comes to him naturally,”

Anger roars in his ears but he keeps quiet in fear of Palpatine doing something much worse. His fury festers in his deliciously, it is savory against his tongue. It is like an intoxicating narcotic, addictive as his brain scrambles for more. However, he keeps his ears open to listen to his Master and not get lost in his thoughts.

“Well, my apprentice, your mission now is to capture young Skywalker and kill Anakin Skywalker,” Palpatine says, “Do not fail me. I will not be as merciful as I am, this time,”

“Yes, my master,” the practiced words tumbles out his mouth; the hologram dissipates.

  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comments. thanks!


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